Hi there, I just really adore helping so I’ve decided to start a story descriptions workshop. You can post your descriptions down below and I’ll give feedback on them. I will help you work through and edit them as well, sometimes (I’m aware that Episode has a limit on how many words you can have in your description). If you’re struggling to come up with a description but have a plot in mind, then this thread is for you, everyone is welcome. I’m not a professional but I do have a lot of reviewing experience online and I’d love to give more aid to this community
Much love, JemU776
P.S if you decide to use my story descriptions, credit is required, thanks
I would like a bit help on the description, if you know the description I have right now I don’t like it. I wanted it to be something like this
Your mom was murdered and you were belived to think is was innocent. Nothing more. However when murder cases start to appear in your new city, you know that you are his next target. Will you and Jace Carson be able to find out who is the murder in time or will you die with proof? Family secrets, lies, and betrayals awaits you.
But… the word limit is too much and I was wondering how could I shorten it so it fits the word counts?
When murder cases start to appear in your new city, you get a strange feeling they’re linked to your mom’s homicide and that you’re the next target. Will you (and Carson/with help) be able to find out who the killer is or fall victim? Family secrets, lies and betrayals await you.
I put ( ) around and Carson because I feel like you don’t need that part in there. You could write “Will you, with help, be able to find out…” or leave that out, too, in order to shorten it. While I can’t go on the portal to check the word count for this, it’s what I would suggest.
yay a super thread of JEM! I have bookmarked all ur threads they have helped me so much on my stories! tysm! I just wanted to say this! I will bookmark this one too in case for future purposes.
You attend an academy for rich/elite kids however when your friend is killed in the same manner your mother was, will you be able to gather the courage to solve this murder? Be careful who you trust…
You can pick either “rich or elite” + I removed the word best in front of friend since it adds to how long the description will be. Also, I’d re-name it to “The dead tell no tales but their bodies do.” I feel like this is a bit too long and would just add to the word count hence why I removed it. But you can include it within your chapter.
My story is about a girl, who gets a robot version of herself, and the robot tries to ruin the girl’s reputation. The Robot was made by the MC’s old best friend for revenge. The MC’s old best friend wants revenge for the MC making a new best friend and forgetting about the old one!
Here’s the Description: You live a normal life! Normal school, normal friends, and there’s a boy that you like! But then, a new girl comes to town, and she looks just like you! What will you do?
Do you think I should change it, Or is this one fine?
I feel like it should be changed. You repeat “normal” a bit too much. Sometimes, repetition is good but for some reason, in your description, it doesn’t flow smoothly so I recommend to re-work it.
What I came up with:
School, friends, a crush, you live a normal life any teenage girl would. But what happens when a new girl, who looks EXACTLY like you, comes to town? That’s when your life takes a turn-for the worst.
What happens when the happiness you’ve acquired unravels right before your eyes? While your life is going well, Vanessa’s has fallen into oblivion. Now she wants revenge and your lover is the debt you must pay.
While your life is perfect, your rival’s is a mess. After she gains power, she takes revenge and your lover is the price you must pay-that’s when everything starts to fall apart for you.
But even though I wrote this, I’d argue against mentioning the rival’s life is a mess (reason mentioned below)
Shortening it:
Your life is good/going well but what happens when the happiness you acquired unravels right before your eyes?Your rival wants revenge and your lover is the debt you must pay.
Oh wow, it was hard to shorten that
I would argue that you don’t need this portion:
Giving a villain’s backstory in a story description isn’t needed when you can talk about their reasonings and past in the story.
OMG can you please check out mine?
"Dark and Light sounds opposite, but they actually don’t, do they? Will the relationship between Dark and Light becomes a Dark Light?
My story name: Dark Light (I’m still working on it, so it’s unpublished)
(I’m still working on it, so it’s unpublished)