🦄 JemU776's Magical Reviews (Temp Closed) 🍭

JemU776s Magical Reviews :unicorn: :lollipop:

Hey, what’s up? I’m just a chocolate loving, helping heroic writer/coder here for you. I’ll be doing reviews on both IG and the Forums, mostly. What do I mean when I say this? I mean that I’ll be doing each review on both. If an author requests from IG, their review will go on IG and the forums. If the author requests from the Forums, their review will go on IG and the Forums. This won’t always be the case though, it depends. DM me on Insta or PM me on the Forums asking for a review (though, it’s better if you give your story details on this thread so I don’t become overcluttered with many PMs), thank you. Also, I will post only public reviews, private not an option as of now. If you don’t have a IG account but you have a Forums one, that’s OK-same for vice versa. Anyways, I’d love to help you out and give you lots of feedback. Just note that I’m not professional reviewer, all reviews are purely based on my opinion, so please do not request for one if you feel like you will be offended. How many chapters will I review? It depends. What am I asking for in return? Nothing. I believe doing things out of the kindness of your heart is so very important plus I love helping people :blob_sun:

My Review Insta:

https://www.instagram.com/jem.does.reviews/

My review will somewhat look like this but with way more detail. It’ll be on both sites (Forums and Insta) or it might be on one of them.

Story Name:

Author Name on the App:

Genre:

Story Description:

Style:

CC (character customization):

Instagram Username:

Forums Username:

I’m genuinely interested in the feedback you provide and I will look over it and fix the errors. I know that if I just want reads I can find another thread/account for it (this is an agreement between you, the requestor and I, the reviewer. If you’re interested in a review, type the password which I think is "a blue unicorn eats a baby fish"

Password: a blue monkey eats a baby fish

My Review:

(FOLLOW this format above when requesting except leave the “My Review” out and just to repeat what I said earlier in this amazing thread, note that even though you can add both, IG is optional to people on the forums only while forums is optional to people on IG only; also I don’t need a cover from you posted, just these details)

Thanks for checking this out, you lovely beans! Much love JemU776 ^^

Because I love this gif so much lol:

tumblr_ogai6c6jHE1uj9fp6o1_540

DONE:

  1. Closed Case by @Moon_dream
  2. Shado by @Roy
  3. Feminism by @Maria_P_Whiberlli
  4. Forlorn Spirits by @lavender.cherriess from IG
  5. Torn Apart LL by @Writer_SA
  6. AW: Realm of Dreams by @TamiRose
  7. Aw: From Earth by Dominique Seth Da Silva by @Dominique_Seth_Da_Si
  8. AW:Imprinted by @Mellisa2731
  9. Where the Shadows Belong by @daniepisodewriter
  10. Hale Huna by @AnonymousAuthor1
  11. My Heart’s Keeper by @meme_episodes from IG
  12. Beyond My Reality by @elawayne
  13. Inmates by @episodee.queen from IG
  14. AW: Without Law by @julka.episode from IG
  15. AW: Aliens VS Humans by @episodewriter31 from IG
  16. Trouble Twins by @MayLaugh
  17. Deadly Secrets by @TamiRose
  18. Lost Summer Love by @TamiRose
  19. Being My Authentic Self (teaser) by @/mystique_episode from IG
  20. The Witch Prophecy by @gigistorm
  21. You’re My Sunshine INK by @Faith.episode.cats
  22. All That Remains by @writerren
  23. AW: The Dawn of Resurgence by @IAmEms
  24. Pregnant by the bad pregnant robot by @weebmaster
  25. Dominant by @skyy_bm from IG

Waitlist:
None because of the reason mentioned below

:heart: NOTE: REQUESTS ARE TEMPORARILY CLOSED :yellow_heart:

16 Likes

Closed case

Moon :crescent_moon:
Romance
Episodes: 8 (more coming soon)
Description: You are a successful detective, you have wonderful friends and family. But what happens when you meet your match in an interesting way? CC, Point system, Choices matter
Limelight
Ig: anna_blueberry_episode
Forums: Moon_Dream

Cover

Thank you :yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart::yellow_heart:
Have a great day (evening)

,:heavy_heart_exclamation::heart_eyes:

1 Like

Hi!!! Thanks a lot for this thread, you’re a lifesaver!

Story Name: Feminism
Author Name on the App: Maria P. Whiberlli
Genre: Drama
Story Description: Five women whose rights have been taken away from them. Five pieces that will change the law. Men and Women will be equals once all pieces have been found.
Style: Limelight
CC (character customization): Nop
Instagram Username: @mpw.writes

WARNING!!! There’s a mature scene (sexual abuse) at the beginning. If you’re not comfortable with that then there’s no need to accept the review. Just let me know

Again, thanks a lot.
Can’t wait to see your review

Story Name: Closed Case

Author Name on the App: Moon :crescent_moon:

Genre: Romance

Story Description: You are a successful detective, you have wonderful friends and family. But what happens when you meet your match in an interesting way? CC, Point system, Choices matter.

Style: Limelight

CC (character customization): Limited CC due to art scenes.

Instagram Username: anna_blueberry_episode

Forums Username: @Moon_dream

My Review:

Not a professional reviewer, all reviews are purely based on my opinion- please do not request for one if you feel like you will be offended and I encourage you to request because you need the feedback.

“This is you Charlotte Belrose. You are 24 years old.” <- this paragraph repeats when we finish choosing a feature and it takes us back to the limited CC template. Have you thought of putting the label lower, right before “what do you look like?”

It repeats for the love interest as well and it can get quite annoying.

The house background was cool and so was the interior.

Charlotte Belrose pops out of nowhere on her phone. Have her stand in the zone before you pan to it.

CHARLOTTE BELROSE: Yes mom, I am. <- it is “I am”, not “i am”

When her mom Alice Belrose is speaking to her, Charlotte is continuing to talk. She’s doing a looping animation. Make her stop by starting another animation such as listening to the phone.

I adore the term cutie pie XD

Welp, I lost points with my mom 'cause I was rude to her. Yep, this is so typical of Jem.

When Yuna and Charlotte are talking in the gym, zoom in on them so the attention is on them and we don’t see the empty space.

Charlotte Belrose’s name + surname can get distracting. Have you thought of making a duplicate character called “CHARLOTTE” only?

“Two hours” would be better to write as opposed to “2 hours”

YUNA: And I have never met him! <- it is “I”, not “i”

But Yuna, nerds are smart : D

Charlotte Belrose slides into the office as she thinks “New case…interesting.” Have her walk there instead.

Officer Hazel also slides in.

“Two weeks” rather than “2 weeks”

You use “it is” and “I am” a lot but in spoken English, “it’s” and “I’m” are more common.

Darn, I knew being rude would have consequences!
My mom didn’t cover for me…hello darkness, my old friend…

The orange haired girl appears sort of randomly while the black haired girl walks in.

“I want to sleep” <- it is “I”, not “i”

You’re missing a period at the end of a sentence. Actually, you repeated the “i” error a lot.

Amira Johnson and Christina Di Grazia slide into the bar. So does Charlotte. I’d suggest for you to use @ instead of &

The characters in your story slide a lot.

The tired taco line killed me LOL :taco:

I like the chemistry between her friends.

Try to include a cliff-hanger at the end of the episode.

Don’t ask “would you like to see credits?” Just show them, so it’s fair.

Overall, I enjoyed, it was a cute read and very interesting! Nice job!

P.S Please note, this review is not meant to offend but to help you improve. I’m not a professional reviewer although I try my best and put my heart and soul into my reviews. Anyways, have a lovely day! :heart:

I’ll post your review on IG as well (with screenshots) ^^

1 Like

Story Name: Shado

Author Name on the App: Roy

Genre: Romance

Story Description: After tragedy, Roy returns to civilization a changed women. She begins her crusade, determined to put things right, with the help of her trusted people,waging a one-woman on crime.

Style: INK

CC (character customization): No CC

Instagram Username: roy_episode

Forums Username: @Roy

My Review:

Not a professional reviewer, all reviews are purely based on my opinion- please do not request for one if you feel like you will be offended and I encourage you to request because you need the feedback.

Thanks for telling me the golden choices are your recommended choices!

ROY: I formed my hands as if I were gripping imaginary tennis balls. <- “I”, not “i”

When I read the great Kung Fu masters, I immediately thought of Kung Fu Panda :panda_face:

Sometimes, when she’s punching him, she goes behind him.

I like how you described her fight with him. It was very detailed.

Kempo karate sounds cool!

SIR: Then would you be so kind enough to explain…the difference between liability and assets?" <- the k in kind should not be capitalized and since Sir is asking a question, there should be a question mark at the end of the sentence.

Remember that “i” alone is supposed to be “I”

Lol, Sir is so savage.

I feel bad for Noah. Fuel prices change yet he remains sad.

The outfit choice (two options) in the locker room was nice.

I like how even though Roy is a badass fighter, she gets nervous when it comes to birthday :birthday: dates.

Totally natural XD

When Kiara and Roy were fighting, it would have been nice to include a few “punch” choices to make the episode more interactive.

When Kiara falls to the ground and Roy cheers, Roy is standing on her legs.

You ended it on a happy note, I see.

Usually cliffhangers are nice.

Overall, I enjoyed, it was an awesome read with a badass MC. Nice job!

P.S Please note, this review is not meant to offend but to help you improve. I’m not a professional reviewer although I try my best and put my heart and soul into my reviews. Anyways, have a lovely day! :heart:

I’ll post your review on IG as well (with screenshots) ^^

Thank you for your time and hard work to make my story better… I will definitely correct the mistakes you mentioned and add choice during the tournament… And tag me on the ig review (roy_episode)… Thank you :kissing_smiling_eyes:

Story Name: Feminism

Author Name on the App: Maria P. Whiberlli

Genre: Drama

Story Description: Five women whose rights have been taken away from them. Five pieces that will change the law. Men and Women will be equals once all pieces have been found.

Style: Limelight

CC (character customization): No CC

Instagram Username: @mpw.writes

Forums Username: @Maria_P_Whiberlli

My Review:

Not a professional reviewer, all reviews are purely based on my opinion- please do not request for one if you feel like you will be offended and I encourage you to request because you need the feedback.

As Ruby enters, Vincent randomly appears out of thin air (really love the name Ruby by the way, she’s a part of my comic series ha ha ha.)

It’s sad that no one’s buying Ruby Pine’s story of being violated; instead, they’re on Vincent Gargiullo’s side. And you’re so right author, the scene was very triggering and unsettling. Remember that stories can have mature themes but they still need to be 13+ friendly.

Also, it’s even more saddening that people think she’s sleeping around with directors to get roles.

The TV overlay in the kitchen was wicked cool.

MARGARET: “A whole career down because of a horny man.” <- whole, not hole.

Uh, I think you mean horny, evil monster!

Robert yelling at Margaret made me extremely sad and the smashed bottle scene was very hard to watch; so bone chilling but extremely well directed.

The baby carriage overlay is too cute!

MARGARET: You need to promise me you won’t freak out <- it is “won’t” (will + not) NOT “wont”

Margaret slides when she comes in Jimmy’s room and the period at the end of the sentence is missing.

“We got in through the back door” <- it is “through” not “trough”

I loved the mini game!

By the way, it is jewelry, not gewelry.

When Jimmy and Margaret are in the car, Amanda randomly appears.

RUBY: “I could keep myself from hearing that” <- it is “hearing”, not “earing”

Ruby, Margaret and Pam starting a feminist campaign after discussing their struggles was done very well.

RUBY: “talk with another women” <- woman (singular), not women (plural)

Better to say “five people” than “5 people”

The episode ended abruptly without a transition.

Overall, it was very intense but talked about real life issues that are important and need to be brought up to bring awareness. Good job!

P.S Please note, this review is not meant to offend but to help you improve. I’m not a professional reviewer although I try my best and put my heart and soul into my reviews. Anyways, have a lovely day! :heart:

I’ll post your review on IG as well (with screenshots) ^^

1 Like

No problem :+1:

BTW I write on my phone and ohmygosh i think im sweating lmao :rofl:

2 Likes

I would like a review too
Story Name: Torn Apart LL
Author Name SRS
Genre Drama
Description You lost your faith in love years ago but then you meet a mysterious stranger through a coffee spill. Will he be able to capture your heart or will he break you even more?
Style LL
CC Yes
Forum Name: @Writer_SA

I would like my review on the forums please

Sure :+1:

So you want me to leave putting it on IG as well, right? Just forums? or both?

1 Like

Sorry change of mind you can put it on Instagram and not on the forums :blush: (Following you already too! )

1 Like

Hi, please review my story entry for the another world contest. Would really appreciate it.

Aw: From Earth by Dominique Seth Da Silva
Genre: Romance.
Choices matter
Full customization
Instagram: @bringer_of_chocolate_biscuits

Thank you!!!

@JemU776 I forgot to mention that my insta is @episode_writersrs so you can tag me on there if you want

1 Like

Hi! Thank you very much :smiley::heart: I will definitely have a look at these I again :sneezing_face: and correct the rest of errors. I am glad you enjoyed it​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Thank you so much :yellow_heart:

Thank you so much for doing this!
Story Name: AW:Imprinted

Author Name on the App: Mellisa2731

Genre: Romance/Fantasy

Story Description: In a world were Vampires and Werewolves are in an eternal war, But they have a mutual enemy, The witches. What happens when a wolf imprint’s on one?

Style: INK

CC (character customization): Limited

Instagram Username: @mellisa.epiwrite

Forums Username: @Mellisa2731

THANK YOU!!! I can’t wait to put these to good use! Thanks again

1 Like

Hey! I would love for you to review my story! :blush: Thank you so much and I hope you like it! :black_heart:
Here’s my story:
Name: Where the Shadows Belong
Author: Dani
Instagram: daniepisodewriter
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Episodes: 8 (More coming soon…)
Description: Alexia has known the demon world for as long as she remembers, but still, her life was simple until she decided to join supernatural hunters. And you? Are you willing to join them?
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5012355304456192

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