Jojo's Art and Story Review thread!

requests

#1

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Hi guys! I’ve been doing lot’s of splashes, covers and overlays recently so I thought why not start an art thread! Also, I’ve done a few reviews and I love reading hidden gems so I thought why not also make reviews!
Art Information:

Examples
Covers


image

Splashes





splash

Art form

Covers/splashes:

Background: Either an image or idea
Title/text:
Font/font colour: Optional
Size:
Other: This includes - characters, random objects, catchphrases, author name etc.

Overlays:
If you want me to take an overlay of a background, send me the image or name.
If you want me to edit an overlay send it the original to me and I’ll do my best.
If you want me to find an overlay I will or I will create want off an image I have.

I DO NOT MAKE OVERLAYS FROM SCRATCH I EDIT THEM OR EDIT THEM OUT!

I DON’T MAKE BACKGROUNDS

Review Information

Review Structure

Plot:
Pro
Con
Music and Sound:
Pro
Con
Directing:
Pro
Con
Spelling and Grammar:
Pro
Con
Length:
Pro
Con
Choices
Pro
Con
Tips

Overall:?/10!

Review Form

Title:
Author:
Description:
Published status:
Link to story if not published:
Amount of chapters to read - max 5:
Should I post on here on PM it:

RULES:

  • Don’t ask for backgrounds from scratch. If you ask me to cut something out or overlay something out that’s fine! But I don’t want to constantly deny backgrounds…
  • Don’t steal customers! Whether or not I’ve replied don’t. If you want customers 1. Make an art thread 2. Join/make an art group 3. Go onto creators corner and wait for someone to ask.
  • If you want something changed, say it! I’d rather have you tell me so it’s perfect than you suffer in silence or have to change it yourself.
  • I can deny requests. If you request something which: I said I can’t do e.g. backgrounds, something which I have tried and can’t do, I don’t have time to do.
  • Don’t rush me. Covers and splashes normally take from 5 minutes to an hour based on how advanced it is and overlays normally take from 1 to 15 minutes. Telling me you need it done by X or done quick is fine but telling me to hurry up isn’t. I’m a student. I have parents which tell me I need to be in places sometimes and I live in the UK so our time zones could be completely different. Luckily everything I do I have figured out how to do from phone so if I’m away and you’re lucky I’ll do it. I will tell you if it will take longer than expected!

-Jojo xx
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#2

Wow gurl!
you did ur own one!
so happy :blush::heart:


#3

I’d really appreciate some feedback!

Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Author: Dreamer
Description: Scarlet had a rough past and it looks like it’s not getting better after she was bought by some mysterious guy. Will she ever turn her life from a nightmare to a dream?
Published status: 8 episodes published, more coming soon
Amount of chapters to read: As many as you want, I don’t want to stress you out
Note: There are no sounds in my story, because I want my readers to be able to read my story anywhere without worring about it.

Thank you so much for doing this! It’s really nice of you spending your passes on someone’s story :slight_smile:


#4

Thank you too for being my first customer! :grin:


#5

Shall I pm it to you or post here?


#6

Whatever is easier for you, I don’t mind if you post it here :slight_smile:


#7

HI I’m autumn3481
My stoties are life of millie and Mars

Life of millie description: follow the life of millie from divorcing parents to love triangle to friend affairs

Mars description: kira is a guy hating painter and ray is a motorcyclist racer playboy can the conquer their demons?

Life of millie is drama
Mars is romance thriller

life%20of%20millie%20small%20cover


#8

Title: The Pregnancy Curse
Author: Dr.Smile
Description: Being the bad boy always seems like fun and games, but for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Too bad Tristan Stuart realized this way too late. [Male MC]
Published status: Published
Amount of chapters to read - max 5: 3
Take your time and thank you!


#9

Dreams and Nightmares Review!

Plot:
Pro: I like how you get right into the plot straight away. This will definitely keep the readers hooked! It’s really interesting. When I found out it was about a gang I was worried it would be cliche but it wasn’t and actually had some plot twists that weren’t predictable!
Con: This wasn’t much of a problem but I think the gang aspect was interesting but wasn’t looked into in-depth quick enough.
Music and Sound:
I know why there isn’t any.
Directing:
Pro: Accurate zooming and focusing! Spotting was also perfect!
Con: In the car scene before Scarlet jumps out you can see Scarlet’s legs from the bottom00. Try moving the car further down.
Spelling and Grammar:
Pro: Perfect! Didn’t notice any mistakes! Also, English isn’t your first language?! You did so well for someone writing in a language different from their native one.
Con: N/A
Length:
Pro: Really good! Around 10/15 minutes which most stories are normally and helped the story pace well.
Con: None. The story felt long and my pass felt well used!
Choices
Pro: The trust choices are clever because it feels like you can control the character’s insecurity.
Con: The first episode only had one choice and the first episodes mostly have outfit or trust choices.
Tips
There were 7 outfit choices and 3 of them the reader already chose from. Maybe remove them so the reader doesn’t have to go through them all and make new ones in later episodes. This isn’t really a tip more of a suggestion. If you added sound and put a “This story uses sound” splash even if people were somewhere they would know and could mute it.

Overall: 9.5/10!
This story was MUCH better then I expected. It was thrilling and mysterious. There were hardly any mistakes from the grammar to the directing. This review was shorter than normal because it was so good and I struggled to find errors lol. :joy:


#10

Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked the story.
I know the story sounds so much like a cliche at the beginning but I’m really trying to make it something special.
Yes, my first language is German, but I had English in school and I am a perfectionist, I hate it when I have any mistakes :sweat_smile:

Thank you so much for your review! :slight_smile:


#11

Plot:
Pro: Very unique and different to stories I’ve read before. Definitely a plot that hasn’t been done before.
Con: It’s a bit confusing. Two couples meet and leave their partners for each other and move in together. It’s quite rushed and normally you don’t move in with someone after one holiday with each other because you hardly know the other person.
Music and Sound:
Pro:
Con: No music or sound.
Directing:
Pro: A bit of zooming and panning across zones! Also spotting. Good transitions.
Con: Not a lot of advanced directing. Occasionally, characters don’t change expression for a few beats. In episode 2 Jay glides around after pranking Millie. In episode 3 instead of walking to her, to girls fly out of nowhere to talk to Millie - Jen and Rebecca. In the flashback, you can’t fully see Millie - zoom out.
Spelling and Grammar:
Pro: Hardly any spelling mistakes.
Con: Punctuation missing - normally no full stops, apostrophes and sometimes no capitalisation for proper nouns.
Length:
Pro: Good length for the first episode.
Con: Make the other episodes a bit longer or merge them.
Choices:
Pro:
Con: None in the first and second or third episode. (I only read the first 3 because you didn’t specify how many)
Tips:
Try using AND to make a group of characters do something at the same time. E.g. @CHAR is idle AND @CHAR2 is idle. Add music and sound. Check your grammar and spelling.

Overall:7.5/10!
The plot was interesting and I can see where you going with it but it got confusing. The love at first sight thing seemed strange and unlikely too. However, you did do good spotting and zooming but sometimes there were a few errors.


#12

Plot:
Pro: I have only read 3 chapters but I feel like Kira’s background will be interesting. You could develop on the idea of what made her so introverted too. Also, good character development with Kira as she breaks out her shell.
Con: At the start, the plot is slightly confusing with Ray and the motorcycle. I was a bit confused about what was happening.
Music and Sound:
Pro:
Con: None
Directing:
Pro: Transitions. I like how the “mean girls” scale next to each other, it’s a nice touch. Spotting. Also, filters!
Con: Characters have the same expression for periods of time.
Layers (people are on top of each other and kissing scene layers are wrong).
Spelling and grammar:
Pro: Spelling is fine.
Con: Punctuation and capitalisation missing.
Length:
Pro: Episode 1 could be a bit longer but it was an alright length.
Con: Make episodes longer or merge them.
Choices:
Pro:
Con: None in the three chapters I read.
Tips:
Try adding more to Kira’s backstory. Add choices. Use layers so characters are behind each other. Choices could be from outfits to maybe tell Ray what your drawing or scream when the teacher touches you etc

Overall: 7/10! For a first episode directing is good. Character development is also good but can be built on. Like your other story just go other grammar :slight_smile:


#13

Sorry there short its because its just I had to do two so I didn’t think they should be too long…


#14

Thanks so much
For life of millie there is a back story for the parents later on

For Mars I just re done it


#15

Oh okay thats good!


#16

Thank u so much I appreciate it !!!


#17

I would love a review
Title - I will be your romeo
Author- KalaniSantino
Description- Eleni and Casey are from two diffrent worlds what will happen when there worlds collide
Published story
Can you read 5 chapters please :slight_smile:


#18

Plot:
Pro: I found the plot really interesting and really funny! Most comedy stories are just mediocre but yours was actually funny and a fun twist on bad boy stories!
Con: I think you should hint that Talisha has a magic background so people know that the curse is coming. If you mention Talisha and magic, impatient readers would be more intrigued instead of leaving because nothing to do with curses had happened. E.g Talisha could think that she’ll curse Carmela if she doesn’t leave Tristan alone.
Music and Sound:
Pro: The background music fits and the sound effects aren’t overdone.
Con: The bonus scene with the girl’s phone ringing noise when on for a bit longer than needed (that might’ve just been me not clicking my phone in time though.)
Directing:
Pro: Amazing! I love the animated scenes and clever use of overlays. Very advanced zooming, focusing and spotting.
Con: Didn’t notice any.
Spelling and Grammar:
Pro: Perfect didn’t notice any mistakes.
Con: N/A
Length:
Pro: Nice and long. About 15 minutes and it was easy to binge.
Con:
Choices:
Pro: I like how the choices affected scenes later on. An episode choice should feel like that instead of feeling pointless.
Con: Ik Tristan’s signature look is a leather jacket but maybe have a clothing choice? Up to you though. This is just a suggestion.
Tips:
Introduce curse plot sooner. Maybe a clothing option?


Overall:9.7/10!
Wow. I was not expecting such a well thought out story. The grammar to the directing to the jokes was perfect. There really wasn’t much to change other than a few minor preferences! :scream:


#19

Thank you for the review and I will think about your suggestions and apply them to future chapters!


#20

Plot:
Pro: Really interesting. I also like how each character has an individual backstory.
Con: Be careful not to make it too cliche since there are lots of gang stories.
Music and Sound:
Pro: Sound effects when necessary.
Con: No background music.
Directing:
Pro: Panning and spotting.
Con: People do actions and props are added later. People doing the talking when they shouldn’t and vice versa. When Acer and Eleni hug in episode 2 Dante teleports. After panning characters appear. People are in the air.
Spelling and Grammar:
Pro: Mostly fine. No big problems.
Con: Some i’s not capitalised. Little mistakes like know spelt no, they’re spelt there, dose instead of does etc… Sentences sometimes are confusing. Missing apostrophes and commas. Incorrect tense.
Length:
Pro: Consistent. Episode 1 is a good length.
Con: Episode 2 and onward could be slightly longer.
Choices:
Pro: Clothes choices. Little choices that keep the reader engaged.
Con: Add more choices in episode 1. Add more meaningful choices.
Tips:
Proofread or get a proofreader to go over your story because I noticed recurring grammar mistakes. Use AND to join actions because some directing could be smoother if it happened simultaneously not consecutively.

Overall:7.9/10!
This episode was really interesting and you clearly thought about each individual character. There are some directing and grammar mistakes but overall it was fun to read. Go through the long sentences because they got confusing.