👑 Khadijah's R E V I E W S H O P [TEMP CLOSED]


#1

:crown: Hey guys!
My name is Khadijah, and I’d be more than happy to review your stories, just fill out the form below:
Note: Only things in bold are required.

Title:
Author:
Description:
Genre:
Style:
Link:
Cover Art:

Unfortunately, due to time constraints, I can only review the first episode of your story. It pays to make a good first impression!

To grade your stories, I will be using a scoring rubric:

Plot ( /10)
Characters ( /5)
Dialogue ( /5)
Directing ( /10)
Art ( /3)
Sounds & Music ( /2)
Total Score ( /35)

As a reminder, this thread is not for promoting stories or for Read4Reads. This thread is solely for reviewing my yours truly.

:crown:


#2
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#3

Taking a look right now!


#4

Plot (6 /10)
Even with the backstory, the plot is still difficult to understand. Maybe it’s because I only read 1 chapter?
Characters ( 2/5)
Even with the backstory you supplied, I didn’t really understand any of the characters.
Dialogue ( 3/5)
Dialogue was not very realistic. I could never find myself really thinking about the words. Sometimes you forget punctate your sentences.
Directing (7.5/10)
Greatspot directing knowledge, sometimes speech bubbles were not in the right place. Sometimes the action looked robotic. I suggest taking risks and remembering to use the ampersand.
Art ( 2/3)
A few custom art scenes - but they weren’t of importance in the story.
Sounds & Music (2/2)
Lots of music. In my opinion, it was kind of distracting.
Total Score (23 /35)
Verdict: I suggest planning out your story - if you aren’t already. Learning some advanced directing tips would also be helpful. Realistic dialogue would really make your story pop!

:crown:


#5

Title: Video Game Champion
Author: Karlon Artis
Description: You are a gamer hoping to win the video game championship. Can you defeat your rival after a 5-year losing streak?
Genre: Action
Style: Limelight
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5634634595172352


#6

:raising_hand_woman: Hey @queenkhadijah999
Thank you for offering review. It is very kind of you :smile:
Here’s my love story.

Title: Coffee or Me
Author: Adilla
Description: It’s hard to pretend like you are never in love while you both care so much for each other. When you waited too long, then someone else come along, will you just give in to fate?
Genre: Drama
Style: Ink
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6440988087812096

image


#7

Hey. Thanks for this!

Story Title: Soccer Moms: Blast to the Future
Author Name: Winter05 with Episode Royalty
Style: INK
Genre: Drama
Story Link:


Instagram: winter05.episode

I hope you enjoy my story! :wink:

~ Winter :snowflake:


#8

thx so much for this thread:
Title: No Choice but Murder
Author: Limelight Stories
Description; 3 black foster girls get sent to a predominantly white school, however, one of them encounter their racist freshman bully & the bully has something in store for them…
Style: Limelight
Genre; Action
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5700092797779968
ig; @brvnda


#9

Hey! I would love a review of my story! Here are the details:

Title: Reformed
Author: Cordelia M
Description: Violet gave up a life of petty crime and way too much black leather over a year ago. New bad boy Carter can’t seem to resist trying to uncover her dark past. Is she truly reformed?
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4696324662099968

Thank you!! :yellow_heart:


#10

Thank you guys!

My shop is temporarily closed until I review the stories already here.

Please do not make anymore requests until I open my shop again


#11

Hi, @queenkhadijah999!

I know the thread is temporary closed and I completely understand you need time to review everyone’s story. I just want to take my place in the queue when you open up again. I hope it’s fine.

My story details:

Name of story: H & V: Fate
Author: Alex Af
Genre: Thriller
Episodes: 4 (completed)
Summary of story: Young ambitious journalist hunting down a powerful tycoon who has made a fortune based on lies. But who really is a villain here? Choices matter.
Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6548486212681728
Instagram: @episode.alex.af


#12

It’s fine, @Alex_Af, you didn’t know. I’ll review your story. But, in the future, when I am closed, please do not make requests. Most of the time, I close my shop when I feel overwhelmed with stories to review.

Because I did not make that clear, I’ll be sure to review your story.
:crown:


#13

Also, what style is your story?


#14

Sure, if you are overwhelmed, please, take you time! I completely understand, so no pressure!

My story is INK.

Thank you very much!

:blue_heart::blue_heart::blue_heart:


#15

You’re very welcome!
:crown:


#16

@kahotshot
Plot 8/10
You certainly have an original plot. I’ve only read the first episode - so I can’t be completely sure about the development.
Characters 3/5
There aren’t really unique personalities for any of characters, including the MC. I don’t know about their quirks. I find the Japanese best friend an interesting part of the story. I suggest adding more about her heritage by doing some research.
Dialogue 3/5
In my opinion, the dialogue makes the story pretty boring. The characters don’t really say interesting things. I suggest reading over your dialogue to make sure it’s realistic and fun.
Directing 7/10
The spot directing in the story is limited to background characters. Why is that? I suggest using spot directing and speech bubble helper more often, especially in the scene where the MC stands in front of his/her school
Art 0/3
I didn’t see any backgrounds aside from the ones in the Catalog. I suggest requesting backgrounds or finding some cool backgrounds.
Sounds & Music 2/2
The video game sounds were present, and it kind of made everything feel a little more real.
Total Score 23/35

Would I continue To be honest, not really. It’s probably because action stories aren’t my cup of tea, but the plot was a little underdeveloped.
Verdict Great idea, but it needs a bit more polishing before I’d recommend it to anyone

Cheers! Have an awesome day and I hope you read over my review!
:crown:


#17

Closing due to inactivity :slight_smile:


#18