Laura review {closed}

Comment your story name below and I will read the first 3 chapters and give you a review!

I am behind on reviews. so please don’t request until i’m open again. Thanks :blush:


IMG_20190509_185423_166.jpg640×696 95.5 KB

Story title:
My parent’s murder!
Description: Emily family is complicated. Very completed. With her dad leaving the family and mom well… Anyway, Emily gets a necklace from her aunt. Then when she turns 16 she learns that her family is VERY broken and messed up. How many secrets can one family hide?

Gotta change the cover cause I didn’t finish in time for Clue. :slightly_frowning_face:

Only 2 chapters though.

Oooh gotta admit it looks good, but i wanna read it.

1 Like

Title: Clue: Billionaire Paradox
Description: The killer torments the wealthy and shields the secrets from any curiosity. Its up to you to find the truth - but beware: they are watching… and listening.

I would truly appreciate an honest review! Anything to make my story better.

1 Like


Okay… I will be free to read it soon, but I like the description it, pulls you in like you can’t wait to find out… I like the description, I hope the story is as good… :blush:

1 Like

Title: Trouble In Princess Paradise
Author: Rosina Valeriant
Instagram: @rosina.episode
Description:How will Rose save the 4 kingdoms after things begin to fall apart after the Solar Eclipse?
Corruption,secrecy,drama, & the cherry on top: romance.
CC & choices


Title: The Unexpected
Author: C. Jade
Description: Life has not always been kind to Shay. But what happens when she meets a gorgeous stranger than turns her life upside and proposes an offer she can’t refuse?

I found an error when reading your first episode. When the people walked down the other men the last 2 were above those characters.

1 Like

Title: 360 Nightmares
Genre: Drama and Limelight
Style: Limelight
Chapters: 3 (ongoing)
Description: A twisted path. A hopeless future. You are a teen vampire on death row. Can you live your final days in peace or will your meeting with two guys be your downfall?
(Description is not the same in the app) (will be changed very soon)

I would love that, thank you :slight_smile:
Title is I made the devil cry

Thank you for that! I’ll have to reread that episode and fix that problem asap!

1 Like

This is my story if you’re still taking requests!

@episode.shannfergg on Instagram!

Story Name: The Pulse
Author: ShannFergg



1 Like

Of course!!

1 Like

Okay I’ve read the first 3 chapters and here’s my notes, enjoy!
Episode 1
-use the &pan when paning at start so that it pans as the words appear on screen.
-name is you for mc but gibbins calls “me” Regina so I’d change it to Regina.
-after a scene it goes black if you meant it like that keep it but if not just take it out like when Regina storms out of the captains office or use the @transition fade out/in command.
-Great grammar, spelling and punctuation is definitely there.
-going back on the transition thing when her and Ryan part and she’s on the train it kinda just pops up there no fade out and in to the next scene it just springs on you
-I like the use of background characters it makes it more dynamic as it’s not just one or two people.
-I keep going back on this but when you introduced the police station it went black for a pretty long time and I was wondering if my iPad died or something, so please shorten it…tyyy
-I love Patricia, her character is a great side character and I love how she just pulls out a bagel
-Sorta confused why some characters have names and others don’t, I don’t know if it’s meant like that or not?
-I like how choices will affect the story I feel it makes it more interesting for readers
-Thank you for identifying the main part of the story in the first episode some don’t and then your kinda lost
-After Parker leaves and she’s in the coffee shop the two characters behind her should be put to the side instead of right behind it looks a bit funky
-I low key still think Kevin wants to kill Regina

Episode 2
-While Regina is taking to the thief I like how you switch perspectives
-Also while taking to him she says “Our witness saw a white male adult with you” and personality white can be used Caucasian is another alternative… like if it was vice versa it could be seen as offensive, I do not mean this in any rude way just a note
-I like how complex the story is with the choices it makes it very interesting and makes it seems well put together
-The outfit choices are great
-Thank you for telling me what the letter said cause I couldn’t really read it.
-Also adding previous choices that affect the future is super good I cant express this enough I just love the points systems and choices it’s all very good

Episode 3
-The hint about the skull chest tattoo sent shivers down my spine because Kevin has the same one I noticed and now he is seeming a little fishy and it adds drama which I like
-It is great how you add clues in the story

Final notes…
The whole plot is very put together and the directing is amazing, but the transitions need to be smoother not very choppy. If I was a reader who came across this story I would definitely continue this story. I would like to remind you though that character placement is very important and that if the characters all had name it would be great. Okay that’s all Thank you!

1 Like

Thank you for this thread!
COVER DRAWN BY: Pyronayniadraws on Tumblr.
TITLE: Your Woman
Genre: Romance
Story Description: Her eyes are always in books or her studies; never caught by someone else. But little did she know tutoring a stubborn hot-head will change it all for her.
INSTAGRAM: @wesley.episode
All bugs and glitches will be fixed when episode 4 is published!

1 Like

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your honesty and I’ll be putting your recommendations into action! I didn’t think about the point you made with “you” so I’ll be ensuring I change it to Regina instead to avoid confusion. Once again, thank you! :blob_hearts:

Okay here your review on your first 3 episode!
Episode 1
-okay so first I LOVE that you have cc it 100% makes the story better since the reader feels that it is “them” in the story
-but not having cc for the love interest is a bit of a down fall
-as I have said before on another review if you use the &pan command while text is appearing it would look more cleaner
-in the market scene this girl kinda just popped on the screen and I got shook she like popped outta thin air so if she could walk on again it could look cleaner
-I like how to citizens of the different kingdoms have a trait about them that makes them a part of one kingdom you can tell like the eye color
-as the story progresses I can tell which kingdom is the focus of the story
-also adding information about the other kingdoms i like because now we have a back story sorta which makes it so the story is more understandable
-I like how you established the personality’s of the characters as soon as we where introduced to them.
-what is the grand council.? Was not established.

Episode 2
-there are some punctuation errors but other than that script is great.
-I like the use of zooms
-you do use sound but if you used more sound effects it could take your whole story up a notch

Episode 3
-I like how as the story has just started that drama starts it makes it interesting
-I just wish that skye was more introduced even though he’s a mystery character he personally is over the place and he’s kinda like 3 Different people
-But on a positive I can tell he’s not from there land and it adds clarity
-I wish you would add more choices in general even if they don’t affect the story
-Thank you for re adding the fruit stand scene from the intro in the first episode because I felt like I saw skye but I didn’t know and now my confusion is cleared up
-Again skyes personally just switched as he became very protective in a matter of 2 seconds
-How does skye know her full name?

Final Notes.
The story is very mysterious but I like it. Some thing can be cleared up but it has a good plot. As a reader I would continue this story. Okay that’s all Thank you.

1 Like

Thank you too! I love your story and you have so much room to improve I will love to re read your story again as it has so much to offer!

1 Like