Time is Deadly | Willow
-
First Impressions
- This is the third story in a row where dead/death/deadly is in the title that I’ve read. I really hope it’s not a sign of my impending doom.
- Oh my, you have a lot of episodes published. Hey, but you’re wrapping up soon it looks like. I’m very impressed as many authors choose to do a low amount of chapters so that they can move on to different things.
- IPad friendly, yes. I am excited. I love to read on my IPad.
-
Episode One
- narrows eyes Where have I seen this story before? Oh! It was advertised in one of the other stories I’ve read.
- “can you do some dead voodoo…” lmao - but awe, I’m thinking this means that the former partner is dead
– oh abducted and stabbed. I wonder if whomever did this is still out there or if their partners are. Love you Derek, partner love or relationship love? - “6 weeks” → six weeks
- “4 years” → four years
- Interpol, nice. I like it when stories have interpol, adds an international feel and opens up the door to a world wide mystery
- “30 minutes” → thirty minutes
- “early 20’s” → early twenties
- “6 years” → six years. Huh, first murder was in Germany four years ago, then how has he been on it for six? ~mystery~
- “NY field office in 30” → “N.Y. field office in thirty”
-
Episode Two
- Information will be important, okay - I’ll try my best xd aka use this as a cheat sheet
- The Times Killer? Curious how that name came to be
- “6 years” → six years
- Major cities. Never twice.
- 28 times? Okay – 22->30 brunette females
- Ya Ivy asking the real questions - of using the newspaper. You little taunter
- “30 days” → “thirty days”
- Dumped secondary location
- Escalating
- I chose to tell the media, people may have seen something
- Oh, well, my choice was canceled out
- “3 hours” → “three hours”
- “FYI” → “F.Y.I.”
- “Dr” → “Doctor” — also in Episode one
- She’s been missing for seven days, eek
- Some numbers here and there that I haven’t been marking. It’s a pet peeve of mine. I don’t think that it’s worth going in and changing them, but a while back I did a poll where I asked people their preferences on typed numbers and the outcome was most preferred typed or no preference at all. Just something to consider with future chapters or future stories.
- “They’re not all capital” → “capitals.”
- Interpol what are y o u doing here – omg same I have forgotten his name at the moment
- Yay extra credit scene despite missing two of the killer points.
-
Episode Three
- Time is deadly, yes - The Times Killer, is deadly
- I said we are friends, doesn’t hurt to be friends with those you’re working with. Though, him cover in blood on the cover is a bit sus
- Oof, he called out Ivy’s old partner
- I would have told the directors because this unsub is trying to shake Ivy. Even though she’s been signed off and such, such a direct call-out is alarming.
- I would so love to work in cold cases. Just mysterious old leads, cracking old cases and hopefully giving closure to cops-victims-friends-families.
- Four years, that’s a long time to not tell your girlfriend
- But damn her outfit really cute though - Willows
- “Mr and Mrs Jones…” → “Mister and Misses Jones…”
- Ahh default outfits
- Damn, I’m bad at these question games.
- Was Emma a victim?
Final Thoughts | Time is Deadly by Willow
I have a pet peeve with text lingo and numbers in Episode, which is what I noted a handful of times above. As mentioned though, it’s not something that is drastic and needs immediate change but it’s more of something to consider when going forward. I think I only caught the two typos, which was a missing S in capitals and the 4 year/6 year, unless I read it incorrectly.
I also think you’d attract people who like crime-solving stories with romance involved.
You’ve definitely laid the groundwork for an eventful and thrilling mystery with every character thus far. You have the work drama, the murder itself, the romance being created, the foreshadowing as well as side characters getting a slide of the drama. Awesome, I look forward to reading more episodes.
Thank you