Since you posted this on my review thread also, I’ll just give you feedback in the other thread. Is that alright?
Hey, your story looks intriguing! I’d love if you could check out my story too. It’s a contest entry for Missed Connections. I’m open to feedback and reviews.
Title: MC: Train City
Author: Ms Periwinkle
Story Description: Life in a new city can be tough. New friends, new guys, new rules. Then, you meet a mysterious stranger who turns your world upside down. Will you come out on top?
Writing Style: Light, emotionally touching, situational humor
Chapters: 3 (more to come)
Samples of what’s inside:
Okay Thank you!
Here’s my story!!! Hope some of you guys will give it a read
Title : Missing Pieces
Description: Aliza is running away from her life with the love of her life, but what happens when she gets into a car accident and loses all her memories? Will she find love again? CC
Author : Saniyah K
Instagram : smk.0225.epi
Checkout this story, on the Episode App! If you like it, support the story by passing it along!
Hey! I just found out this thread and I can’t believe I didn’t find it earlier, my story just reached 10k this morning so I hope it’s still okay for me to post it here.
Title: Unexpected Lesbian Romance
Number of Episodes : 20
About the story: It’s a story where you, the player (Name and character customization) meet this girl named Angie, as you get to learn more about her, yourself, and some of your old friends. Character development, drama, and much more!
LGBT story, where all the episodes are out so you can binge read them and you don’t have to wait for a new one! And if you fall in love with the characters just like I did, I’m currently writing a prequel to it that’ll be out in a couple days called “First Love (ULR Prequel)” I’ll probably post it here when it’s out Oh and I would love some critiques and feedback, whether it’s here or fanmails!
Thank you all !!
If it’s anywhere over 10k reads by now, I won’t read it, sorry. I’d like to keep this strictly super small stories only If you’re still looking for a review, though, you can post this on my review thread, where I will read all stories regardless of reads and give you super honest feedback
I’m really sorry, hope you understand
Here’s my story!!! Hope some of you guys will give it a read
Story Name: Blossoming From Zero
Written By: Lavender
Episodes: 4 (more coming soon)
Instagram: @ epy.dorkiedork
Short Description: Lexa, a 16 year old dealing with a lot of stuff. Her parents don’t have the best relationship, and when her mother dies, she moves in with her dad.
Long Description: Evanna, a 16 year old girl is dealing with a lot of stuff. Her parents don’t have the best relationship, and when her mother dies, she moves in with her dad. Evanna finds out that she has a new addition to her new family. Ethan, Brandon, Alex, doesn’t want her here. She wanted a happy life, but with being abused and bullied by her own family and friends, she falls into depression.
Here is the link to Blossoming From Zero if you would like to check it out! <3
@gisellec I just read the first three chapters of your story. Here’s some feedback
I didn’t like how you introduced the significant characters in your story. It’s okay to share certain aspects of the character through narration, however, sharing their entire personality through basic narration is never the way to go. It’s a thing that Episode authors do all the time, and most of the time, it never works out. Dumping character info on the readers makes it much harder for there to be an emotional attachment to any of the cast. Things like their personalities/morals/traits should be intricately explored gradually throughout the story, through creative dialogue and actual character interaction. (Instead of opting for the easier narration route: “This is insert character name here. He/she is quirky, relatable, blah blah blah.”) Because you used this form for introducing many of your characters, I felt almost no connection to any of them. However, the MC had nice chemistry with her friends, and the dialogue between them flowed really nicely.
I really liked how the choices mattered in this story. It’s very interactive, and I have no complaints about that
The directing is also really good. I didn’t spot any actual mistakes, however, I thought that the text effects and transitions could be toned down a notch. I personally find that super flashy effects take away from the story and tend to feel more out of place. I loved your use of overlays and backgrounds, though!
The grammar was also good, but in chapters one and two, I noticed consistent comma errors. The grammar did get a lot better in chapter three, though, which I was very happy about.
One issue I have with this story is that the chapters felt very anticlimactic. Your chapters would’ve been a good length if there was enough interesting plot material to cover that amount. The pacing for chapter one was excellent because many crucial points in the story occurred, and none of the scenes dragged on for too long. The pacing gradually became sloppier in chapters two and three, however. Due to not really caring about any of the characters and the sloppy pacing (reasons stated above), I felt nothing interesting was happening, and the scenes that were supposed to be didn’t entice me at all.
Hi, I’d love to do an R4R with you! But I noticed that you posted your story more than once on this thread, and I’d like to ask you to post your story only once unless asked to otherwise. Thanks for understanding! I’ll get on reading your story as fast as I can.
Usually it tells me if I posted before.
Hi! I posted your review on my other thread that you posted your story on. Since I read all three chapters of your story, I’d really appreciate it if you’d return the other half of the R4R by checking out my story if you haven’t already. Thank you so much for taking out the time to read my review and respond on this thread!
Sorry for taking quite a while to reach your story I just wanted to let you know that your review will be coming tomorrow or the day after that. I’ve sorta been swimming in requests lately, so sorry about that!
No problem at all! It’s just been less than a week, don’t worry about it.
I finished the first three chapters of your story! Here are some comments I have
- I loved your directing! Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I saw one background that wasn’t custom. Your overlays add so much to the story, and everything flows wonderfully!
- I felt so attached to the characters as well! You managed to paint a broad picture at the start of the story about the traits these characters have, then gradually filling in the details and breaking it down with flashbacks into the MC’s past, for example. Your way of introducing characters to the readers was almost flawless!
- The dialogue did feel OOC at times, especially the interactions between the MC and James when he was still unconscious. The romantic point of view from each character’s perspective is well-written and technically excellent, but there are times in which it felt too dramatic. It’s not something I’d imagine a real person would say. It’s still possible to write beautiful romantic monologues while making it realistic and down-to-earth.
- The pacing was excellent! Nothing felt too rushed, and the buildup to the ending of each chapter was great and ended on a satisfying note.
- The grammar was excellent, but there were consistent comma and other punctuation errors. Make sure you polish up on those.
- I loved the action in this story, as well as the war/military setting. There aren’t many Episode stories that root themselves from these elements. It’s something I’d always love to see more on Episode, and I was so happy when I found your story on this thread. With this setting, you have so much potential to make this an on-the-edge-of-your-seat emotional type story.
You have an amazing story! I’ll definitely continue reading to see how far your writing goes as it progresses. If you haven’t already, I’d love for you to check out my new story as well! (Link is at the top of the thread )
Hi! Thank you so much for your feedback, it’s very constructive. English is not my first language and the punctuation remains one of the mysteries to me. I know it shouldn’t be that hard
I’m writing episode 7 at the moment and I’ll definitely continue writing!
Title: First Love (ULR Prequel)
Number of Episodes : 3 out (more coming)
This story is a PREQUEL to my previous story Unexpected Lesbian Romance, I suggest reading it first, but if you don’t want to I’m making it so you can understand this story without having to read the first one. I hope you’ll give it a chance!
Ps This story only has 5 reads, so if you go to my profile and see a higher a number it’s because of other stories I have published.
Thank you! xoxo
Don’t worry, haha! English isn’t my first language either, so it took me a while to learn the million punctuation rules that exist. They’re so annoying hehe I get your pain
Please, check out my first story!)))
Name: Love or hate?
Author: Kate Muntian
Episodes published: 3
More episodes coming soon.
I also would like to do read for read!))))))))))))
My account on IG: @k_m_episode
Hey I’m Venus here is my story I hope you’ll like it I would be so happy if you’ll give a chance:two_hearts:
Story title: REPUTATION
Episodes: 10 [SEASON 1 COMPLETED]
Story description: Do you think Auora's life is perfect just like you see on the screen? Think again. Welcome to the world of an famous actress, it's full of secrets.
here’s my two story! Check it out if you want
Title: One love at the time
Episode 19 (more coming soon)
Resume: Lola is an ordinary girl, until she meets Caleb, and her life turns upside down, because they have to keep it secret, but for different reason. Typical? Believe me, it’s not. CC
Title: Love and Debt
Episode: 5 (more coming soon)
Resume: He’s rich, attractive and broken. She’s cold, orphan and a thief. When their paths crossed, things get messy. This is where it’s getting interesting. CC