Let's discuss Mafia stories

omg i feel like such a terrible person, i’m currently writing a mafia story, does anyone have any advice for things to avoid to do when writing? or things that i should do when writing?

- description

You and your family just moved from LA to Las Vegas. But you have a secret, you are the most feared Mafia gang in the country. Your family is apart of the Mexican Mafia and you and your sister are fighting to be heir of the Mafia. Since you and your sister are both twins and were born at the same time, your father wants to give you both a fair chance to prove yourselves worthy to be heir. Your father says whoever can take down the Italian Mafia, and kill their heir, will become the new leader of the Mexican Mafia.

Soon you meet Dex Young, a charming 18 year old that you and your sister are both head over heels for. But Dex has a secret, he’s the heir to the Italian Mafia - the person you must kill.

Will you and Dex be able to keep your secret from each other? Or will your true identities show, along with your true feelings for each other?

PLEASE give me hard criticism and things i could make better or change. thank uu !

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Don’t feel like a terrible person for writing about it, it doesn’t make you one. It’s just nice to have an accurately portrayed story for once.

al i’ve been using the words “accurate” and “portrayed” way too much in this topic

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i really do want to make the story as accurate as possible, butttttttt i still did want romance to be involved between the MC and the LI

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I don’t find a problem with writing in a romance, its just the story and information about the mafia should be depicted correctly.

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Right I agree! I just don’t know where to start. I guess what I’m trying to say is based off of the Mafia stories that I’ve read, I don’t know what information from those stories we’re true & accuarate.

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Lmfao idk why but this scenario is pretty funny.

Anyway, both MC and twin sister are mafia kiddos. Then sure, go ahead. It’d just be better if both twins were obsessed with killing him and seducing him… in a more comedic way rather than romantic/erotic.

Anyways,

his name doesn’t sound realistic, since it’s not Italian. If you need any help with Italian characters (translations, culture check) be sure to stop by our shop.

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Then don’t use those stories as where you get your information. You can look many things up on the internet and you can find interview even with former Mafia bosses.
Michael Franzese talks about his former life in the mafia, you can look up his interviews.

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okay, I actually really like the story idea, but I was just wondering, is the italian mafia boss based in LA?

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wait so ur saying that i should portray that as them thinking its funny and playing around?

thank uu! do you think i could at least keep the Dex part, or would that not be realistic enough?

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Wdym? Like are you asking the Italian mafia boss lives in LA?

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Thank uu sm ! this helped out a lot ! ^^

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yeah.

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ohhhhh, well i was thinking this:

the Italian mafia boss & his family grew up and Italy, they just moved to LA 2 years ago, for a business arrangement/plan. does that sound realistic ?

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I’d say that mafia stories being inaccurately protrayed basically boils down to a lot of Episode stories being inaccurate, unrealistic, or overly fantasized.

The next person who walks into your classroom won’t be your soulmate. Your next door neighbor probably isn’t going to be a rockstar. The guy you meet in a chat room is most likely to be just that, a guy you meet in a chat room, not the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

But, in the fantasy version, all of those situations can be the opposite. The next person to walk in the classroom IS your soulmate. Your next door neighbor IS a rockstar. The guy in that chatroom? He IS the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with.

People have their own fantasies and desires, which comes out in their writing. Reality more or less gets in the way. Most people came to Episode to make their OWN stories, which revolve on what they thought of.

Mafia stories are almost all cliche and inaccurately protrayed but their still popular and still liked because A) people don’t want to learn/don’t know of the mafia’s brutal truth & B) It’s familiar, the same plotline is used over and over, which means I have thousands of stories that fit exactly what I want.

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hmmmm, maybe his parents (or at least his dad) stay in Italy, because they still have things to run back there.
Since their rich the father can obviously fly back to LA from time to time if you need him in a scene.

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i have a favor to ask, & please be brutualy honest with me here. could uu take a look at my description pls & tell me if it’s cliche, & the same plot-line as all the other mafia stories?

- description

You and your family just moved from LA to Las Vegas. But you have a secret, you are the most feared Mafia gang in the country. Your family is apart of the Mexican Mafia and you and your sister are fighting to be heir of the Mafia. Since you and your sister are both twins and were born at the same time, your father wants to give you both a fair chance to prove yourselves worthy to be heir. Your father says whoever can take down the Italian Mafia, and kill their heir, will become the new leader of the Mexican Mafia.

Soon you meet Dex Young, a charming 18 year old that you and your sister are both head over heels for. But Dex has a secret, he’s the heir to the Italian Mafia - the person you must kill.

Will you and Dex be able to keep your secret from each other? Or will your true identities show, along with your true feelings for each other?

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okay ! what about if the mexican mafia boss & his family moved to italy? Because he wants his daughters to kill the heir to the Italian Mafia, so they would move to Italy.

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No. How I understood the dynamics from your description, I imagined the twins being determined to become the heir so much so that it turns into a full-on competition between the two. I imagine some level of obsession would be involved? Then again, I might have misunderstood. But if this is how you imagine the plot to unfold, it’d be pretty funny to watch them try and perhaps sabotage the other.

Although, if you prefer a more serious approach also super interesting then forget the slight comedic tone.

Np! It depends though. If he’s Italian-American then Dex is fine. But that would make him the future leader of the Italian-American mafia or wouldn’t it :thinking:. If he’s Italian from mother Italy then Dex sounds very foreign.

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I think that would make more sense.

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yeah I agree, I still read stories with the same plotline, but I just wish they would show some realistic aspects of the Mafia. This is my opinion, it’s okay if an author doesn’t do that, I’m just saying it would appreciated.

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