Let's do a critical R4R ,one where you can say what you really feel about the stories?

Hey I would love to do a R4R with some people who want honest feedback about their stories! Not sugar coated, or I might hurt your feelings, A REAL HONEST R4R I mean how will we improve if we just say “Aww babez that was real sweet”, when we are actually thinking " OMG you published it and you can’t get there, their and they’re right?"

So I am going to post my story link ect.


Title: Elements
Genre: Fantasy, Romance
Style: Limelight
Chapters: 3 and more coming
Description: You are a troubled teen, who decided to use detention as an experiment class. Now you and your “friends” have super powers? Water, Fire, Earth and Thunder - with Love interests, Mini games and CC
Author: Em

This is not a R4R for the weak hearted!
So if you want help and someone to actually tell you what they think, then send me your link :slight_smile:


Commenting so I can do one when I publish my story!

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I really need some honest feedback, mine Is called I made the devil cry, author Šebule, fantasy

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Moved to Promote Your Story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :wink:

Lets do it!

My story is called Dirty Sexy Money

Why not? Here’s my link. Let me know when you start and I’ll start yours and send SS here.

Story: Dare to Kiss!

Author TamiRose

Style: LL

Genre Romance/Comedy

Description Neoni, independently strong, confident and all about her business. But, that all changes when a nosy spy unnecessarily enters her life. Will she get rid of him or fall in love?


I like the girl on the left lol

From the picture? Or did you read the story? People don’t normally like her when they read it :joy:

I’d love to do r4r with you. We can give each other some constructive criticism to improve our stories!:blush:
Title: Eat Your Heart Out
Author name: F/N
Description: Wishing for an angel to disentangle your life takes a strange turn when an unholy creature appears. Will the love of the enigmatic detective or the lust for a fierce vampire?
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 4 (Ongoing)
Link to story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5898407973683200
Additional notes: CC, Choices matter, LL.
Instagram: @fnepisode

Ok, I read ep 1 so far.

Really good story idea and I am looking forward to reading more!

A couple of notes:

  • at the start you miss a few talking animations
  • you leave the books in the hands for the laughing etc.

Think you mean to say name here

Were not where. Comma isn’t needed

Think you mean precious not vulnerable

Repeating do here and don’t need comma.

Hope that helps :grin::black_heart:

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From the picture. I could sort of tell her personality already lol

Haha she is beautiful, but she is mean!

If you want a proofreader I would be happy to help! I’ll send feedback by Saturday (so if you’re in U.S.A America then I mean Friday). @EmStar I don’t have a published story yet but I’d love to help you with yours. :two_hearts:

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I am reading yours now. I’ll post I’ve finished

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First of all you’ve got 301 reads that’s impressive and I like the idea of your story I will give you my honest feed back because I believe it’s more helpful and also I am not perfect either which is why I am doing this :slightly_smiling_face:

You are talking in past tense, so you needed to have written there “was” peace.

I’m not sure about this one but, Red Kingdom is a name right? So it needs to have a capital K.


The speech bubble gets cut off at the bottom.

I really liked your overlays :slight_smile:

This sentence doesn’t really make sense…
it should be written like this
“This isn’t blood, I accidentally dropped ketchup on my self” or something like that.

Break up the speech bubble, in my opinion it kills the story, because instead of being in a flow with the story you have to stop. But that is just my opinion.

How did you flip the room and camera angle? I really like that. And also the gained a point, how did you do that? I find the “if “ “else” things really confusing.

Like I said, this isn’t sugar coated feedback this is my honest opinion. So don’t feel upset or discouraged, you’ve done well :grinning:

I’m just bored of having to read stories for views and they have no rhythm and boring to read.
But I liked yours and wanted to read more :grinning:

Yeah the what’s your SARAH is a glitch I am working on when I published it I kept seeing what is your Sarah or her Sarah is lol :joy:

My comma placement is awful it actually lets down my story telling, so thank you

And thank you for your feedback I generally appreciate it!

Okay I’ve read chapter 1.

I really like your overlays and tap able background it’s really creative when the you click on it and the colour changes.

Well Gaddam, they are some kinky parents …

I clicked on the ice coffee, but Sunday gave me a coffee?

Did you mean make up? I don’t know what you meant by get up …

I don’t understand their friendship, like they are horrible to each other lol

I like your directing of this story and the overlays and your grammar is good … but I felt like the story was a bit slow for me, but that’s my opinion and you’ve got 260 people that have read it and think differently so I hope you don’t take it too personally :slightly_smiling_face:

Ah no worries, I actually really liked it. But you wanted more feedback so I gave it haha

Think it is set to be a really good story.

Let me know if you read mine and have feedback :blush::black_heart:

Oh wow Roxie is a b*tch! Kinda like Regina George in a way.

I was engaged I forgot to take screen shots :scream_cat:

Only thing is when I tried to search it, it wouldn’t let me cause you have “S*xy” in the title :persevere:.

Other than that, I like it :grinning:

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Yeah I didn’t realise that word was going to be such an issue :see_no_evil:
What other word could I use??