Let's Learn from Each Other's Stories!

The music would overlap because using music 80 0 will make the next scene’s music come too soon. If I had to transition from music to music, I would do something like this.

volume music 0 2000
@transition fade out in 2
[insert background name]

music [insert audio name]
volume music 15 2000

If you put it up to like 80, it would raise the music up very high, causing it overlap. Try to ease it in a bit.

Adding music off could work after the volume fades.

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Alright. Thank you so much. :slight_smile:

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Title: A Different Path
Author Name: AlwaysAuthor
Genre: Romance
Description: Moving from France to the US, what will happen when shy and anxious Cadence Allaire crosses paths with her complete opposite, August Foster, on her first day of school?
I don’t mind what you focus on, just whatever you want to comment on!

Title: The Precarious Betrayal
Author: Queen
Genre: Romance
Description: Queen Robinson thought that her life was falling apart. Trust was broken and it may be hard to build back. Will she love another? Or fix her marriage? A love story turned bitter.

In-depth advise that can help me improve my writing as I continue my story. Like plot development, chapter lengths, grammatical errors etc.

Link to The Precarious Betrayal



Story title: Breaking boundaries
Cover (optional):
Author Name: Faith Rose
Genre: Drama
Description: Noelle, a cheerleader is passionate about football.
She wants to show all the boys that girls have the ability to play football.

Will Noelle be able to break the boundaries?
What would you like us to focus on? Everything character development plot

I wanted to thank you for your amazing reviews!!! Hope you can get to my new Queer entry! :heart: :heart:
Title: Queer: Daisy
Author: Bertha
Genre: Romance
Instagram: @bertha_episode
Full sinopsis: Kristen’s an art student that has to present a project in 22 days, but she lacks of inspiration. You’ll need to help her through the minigames to gain that inspiration. On the process, she meets someone that may help her overcome this block. Successfully completing the project depends on you, and so is the ending!
1 LI, L-CC, LGBTQI+, Minigames, Point system, different endings

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6510417432215552[/details]

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Hi, thank you for doing this! :yellow_heart:
I’d like to have a review on my new story below!
Thank you! :blush:

Story Title: Striving For My Happy Ending

Author Name: MitsuKi
Genre: Fantasy
Description: July died suddenly, only to find herself waking up in the world of the ‘Reaching You’ online story! Even worse, as the antagonist who will meet her death! (LL, limited CC)
What would you like us to focus on?
The story as a whole! Sorry, it sounds kind of general but I just felt that there aren’t many stories similar to the theme in my story so I’d like your detailed review on your thoughts. I appreciate any comments on things I can improve for my story as well! :yellow_heart:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5715293131571200

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Hey, guys. I’m running behind on reviews since it’s nearing the end of the school year for me. I’ll catch up once summer break comes up, but for now I’m severely lagging behind.

Also, AP exams anyone? Kind of stressful doing it online this year, haha.

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It looks like the exams are working for mostly everyone. Hopefully it’ll work on Thursday.

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Here’s mine

Title: 1 Million Dares
Author: CassieC
Description: Welcome to the World’s Most Eligible Daredevil Reality Show, where contestants must compete to win 1 Million dollars doing dangerous dares and challenges. Will you come out on top?
I would like to focus on the characters and plot.

Alright, so I’m actually not the person who started this thread, but I stumbled across your comment and was intrigued. Well, I figured you might be interested in hearing my opinion anyway!
I really enjoyed your story! I found the satire humour on point, and I think you’ve got a colourful cast.
The only real critique I have is that there are some grammatical errors throughout the episodes. I notice things like “your” and “you’re” tend to get mixed up, for example. So, I’d keep an eye out for that.
Otherwise, I pretty much only have positive things to say! The directing looks good and I appreciate the options you get to customize the MC’s personality.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading more!


Thank you! I’ll look through my script for the errors.


STORY REVIEWED - Snapshot by @Phoenix_11037

Description: When a member of Blood Rage dies, the remaining players must solve the mystery while surviving the traps laid out by the show. Will you find out the truth or suffer the consequences?

Episodes read: 2

Since this story hasn’t been published yet, this review is solely for the benefit of the author.



This advice is meant only for the author.



In the first episode, when Crystal and Diana are introduced to the readers, the music from the Blood Rage Audition video is still playing in the cafeteria.



“Then you showed me the last pictures of him you had of him.”

This is… confusing. Try rewording your sentences to make them more clear.

“Then you showed me the last pictures you had of him.”

This sentence is worded a bit better as it doesn’t repeat the word “him” twice. I would suggest rereading your script or having someone proofread your story—you could even do both to really make sure you have no mistakes.

“Looks like you finally decided to join me after 45 minutes of sucking Thea’s face.”

“It’s not my fault she’s irresistible. Also, she quite good at…”

sly look. wink wink, haha

For some reason, this kind of friendly, mischievous banter irritates me.

A lot.

Several authors use this sort of dialogue to introduce a reader to a particular character’s sexuality, relationship, and personality. It’s understandable why many authors write this in, but I’ve always found it to be irritating.

Although it’s written to be sort of a subtle cue to readers of a character’s personal life and such, and in this case, it’s Crystal, it always came off to me as unnecessary and annoying.

It’s filler.

Let the reader find out about the character’s personality, history, and relationships through time. It doesn’t have to be screamed at a reader’s face, people will be able to put two and two together and realize on their own.



When Diana is walking home after the reader completes the questionnaire, she walks facing forward as she is going to the door.

That’s, uh, behind her.

I suggest having the camera zoomed in on Diana as she walks towards the door, facing the right way (as in walk_rear_loop). Perhaps, have the camera move in front of the empty driveway, then back again towards Diana’s disappointed face.

“They’re not home…”




Haha, I’m kidding.

The first chapter was decent length, about 10-15 minutes long.

The second chapter… well… it was short.

It was about 2 minutes long. Maybe even shorter because I’m a fast reader.

The first time I read the second chapter, I chose to see the Clue Board. (Nice touch, by the way.) It lasted a decent length.

The second time I’d reread it, I chose to skip the Clue Board and the chapter ended immediately after.


Moving background characters make a scene feel alive. In the beginning cafeteria scene, try having some of them walk around. If the overlays are too troublesome then just zoom in on the character speaking, have the BC walk behind, out of the shot, then remove the BC before the camera reveals an oddly placed BC staring into the reader’s soul.



Well, there isn’t much to designing a character on Episode. It’s quite different from creating your very own character on pencil and paper (or pen to drawing tablet).

Y’know, bad guys wear evil, dark colors and look mean.


Good guys are usually the protagonists. I’ve yet to see an Episode story where the MC is the bad guy. (That might be because I don’t really read Episode stories anymore.)

But the small things you can do, no, should do is to make the lip color the same color as the skin tone.

So many ashy lipped characters on Episode.


Ryan should not have lips 5 skin tones darker than his skin tone. Please fix this.



  • Zooms matter. Work on implementing them into your story so that the reader’s eyes won’t be too bored. I feel like the lack of movement is why Spotlight is so hated.
  • Background characters are important in a way that so many people overlook. If there are no characters shakin’ it up in the background then the world will feel lifeless, still, empty. The spot directing can be a pain, but in the end it’s worth it.
  • STOP MAKING CHARACTERS WITH DARK SKIN TONES HAVE ASHY LIPS. STOP MAKING CHARACTERS WITH LIGHT SKIN TONES HAVE EXTREMELY DARK LIPS. (Unless, it’s makeup. Then it’s alright. You’re picking up what I’m putting down, right?)
  • Music and sound matter, but only if you plan on including it in your story. I remember reading Porcelain by @/Ratahul and actually being scared by one of the sound effects. It really added to the feel of the story. But, of course, not everyone reads Episode with the sound on.


I hope this advice helped both the author and other community members reading this. Check out this story and tell me what you think!

If I missed anything that you wanted me to cover, @Pheonix_11037, please bring it up! This can become a great story with hard work and time. Good luck! My apologies it took so long.

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Haha… yeah, I’ve been not so good with keeping up with this thread, have I?

Sorry to those who are waiting to be reviewed. Currently working to complete unsavory college prep and such…

Don’t worry, I’ll get to reviewing all of your stories, but for now, it will take a while. I highly encourage you guys to review each other’s stories if you have spare time. Perhaps you’ll find a new favorite!

Again. My apologies.
Thanks to @Phoenix_11037 and @Waluigi for reviewing people’s stories. Awesome work!

If you need help with reviewing stories, I do have examples above.