I wanted to make a thread because I saw nothing of this sort when I tried to search the forums, so let me know if there’s a duplicate thread.
This thread will be anything having to do with LGBTQIA2S+. Things such as personal experiences, media, and representation.
For those who don’t know about the acronym, and are used to seeing LGBT+, here is what each letter stands for.
L - Lesbian
G - Gay
B - Bisexual
T - Transgender
Q - Queer or Questioning
I - Intersex
A - Asexuality
2S - 2-Spirited
Great, now what do those terms mean?
Gay
Summary
Gay is an umbrella term, more often than not, to describe the entire community. But as a label, it is defined as the attraction to the same sex or gender.
Lesbian
Summary
This is like gay, however, it is a term used often by women and female-leaning non-binary people. Basically gay, but more specific to gender identity.
Bisexual
Summary
Bisexual means attraction that isn’t exclusive to one sex or gender. You may also see pansexuality described as so, and often, the two terms are interchangeable. The specifics of what it means to be bisexual are unique to individuals.
Transgender
Summary
Someone who identifies as transgender means that their birth sex differs from their gender identity. For example, someone who is born as a male (AMAB) and now identifies as a woman. Or someone who is born as a female and now identifies as non-binary. Being transgender is not exclusive to just being the opposite sex. It also includes non-binary, genderfluid, demi-gender, etc, or a combination of several to individuals.
Queer/Questioning
Summary
Questioning is someone who is unsure or discovering their sexuality, gender identity, or both. Those who do not feel like they fit with any labels, or do not want to label themselves at the moment,
Queer is used to applying to every person who is not straight or cisgender and is a general umbrella term for those in the community.
Intersex
Summary
A person who is intersex (or perisex) is someone who was born with or developed naturally over time characteristics of the opposite sex, such as chromosomes, gonads, genitals, or sex hormones.
While it’s not agreed by the community whether they(intersex/perisex people) feel like they belong in the LGBTQ+ community, for many, they feel like they do want to be a part of it. Some people who are intersex don’t want to identify as LGBTQ+, and that’s okay too.
(source: Intersex Q&A and Is Intersex LGBT?)
The reason that intersex is a part of the LGBT+ community is because of shared experiences and issues. Such as being affected by the same healthcare policies that other gender and sex minorities face, being defined by their genitalia or the gender they are ‘read’ as, and shaming and shunning for their bodies, Being a part of the community means allyship, supporting each other and advocating for everyone.
Asexuality
Summary
Asexuality is not only a lack of sexual attraction. It is not defined by a person’s sex drive or libido. First, let’s break it down a bit. There is aromantic and there is asexual. Of course, let it be known that there’s no definition that applies to everyone, and so everyone’s experience with it is different.
Aromantic: Usually defined by a lack or minimal romantic attraction. It is not identified by actions or behavior, but by thought, feeling, and orientation. Those who identify as aromantic can still be in relationships, as being aromantic is not decided by your actions. Of course, there’s a lot of more specific labels than aromantic, such as cupiosexual, where someone doesn’t feel romantic attraction but still desires a romantic relationship.
Asexual: Asexual is an orientation where a person doesn’t feel sexual attraction for anyone. Of course, it’s not black-and-white like that. There’s demisexuals, gray-asexuality, fraysexual, etc. I emphasize the ‘anyone’ because someone who identifies as aegosexual (a branch of asexuality), for example, can feel a disconnect between themselves and what ‘gets them going’. You can feel attracted to something racy, like a ‘magazine’, but not want to or feel neutral about expressing those feelings with other people. It is a divide between themselves and the source of attraction.
Asexuality and aromance are not interchangeable terms. For example, someone who is asexual can still want a relationship or to be married, and can feel romantic love for someone (which is not a combination of platonic and sexual love).
I really suggest xxalphabetaxx.writes on @XxAlphaBetaxX (hopefully I tagged the right person) who is not only super talented but goes into more of the specifics of the asexuality spectrum.
2-Spirited:
Summary
This is a bit of a tricky one because a lot of people have never heard of the word at all. In one sentence, it means “refers to a person who identifies as having both a masculine and a feminine spirit” (lgbtqhealth.ca).
That may not tell you a lot, or leave you feeling a bit confused. I believe it’s easier to just give you a quote from a 2S person who can explain more in-depth than I can be based on their personal experience.
u/2spirit-answered on Reddit:
“Each Native culture is different, so I can only speak for what I’ve been taught, but…in my community, there’s very specific (but equally respected) roles for men and for women. Men and women do certain ceremonies, go to certain circles, protect certain medicines (spiritual objects or knowledge), and have their own duties to the community. I fit inadequately into either category by itself, and so I was given permission to use the term “two-spirit” to reflect that I have a special role in the culture, outside of that rather rigid binary. Because this doesn’t translate into the non-Native culture, I just call myself genderqueer in broader Canadian society.”
Vocabulary:
Cisgender - someone who identifies with the sex they are born with
Advocate - working to end intolerance and to educate those outside the group while supporting those who identify with it
Non-binary - someone who identifies outside of the male and female binary, such as a combination of both, lying on the spectrum of both, or completely outside of it
AMAB - Assigned Male At Birth, someone who is biologically assigned male at birth
AFAB - Assigned Female At Birth, someone who is biologically assigned female at birth
Question and Answer
How do I know if I’m ____?
Summary
What it means to have a label is unique to the individual. There is no one person who decides what it means and what requirements you need to fulfill in order to identify with it.
"Do I have to label myself?
Summary
Absolutely not. I’d argue that you really shouldn’t settle on using specific labels until you’re 100% sure, and even then. When you put a label on yourself, you’re more likely to put yourself into a box and not want to explore your sexuality or gender identity because you found something that works for most people. It’s okay not to feel like you totally fit in with a group. The reason that there are so many labels outside of LGBTQIA2S+ is that it gets more specific to people and how they feel attracted, identify, or think and feel.
“Do I have to come out?”
Summary
You don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die, and even those you can probably get away with not doing. Do what is safe for you and what is comfortable for you.
“Can I dress/wear ___ when I identify as ____?”
Summary
See above comment. You wearing makeup doesn’t make your gender identity invalid if you identify as anything but a woman. Just because society tells you that some things are only for gender, doesn’t mean that anyone who doesn’t identify with it is suddenly and magically wrong.
Wear whatever you want as long as you’re not naked because you might get arrested.
“How do I write LGBTQ+ characters?”
Summary
There’s a lot of great internet info for that question. See: Dear Straight Authors Wanting to Write LGBTQ Characters, How Do I Show That a Character Is Trans?
But here’s my two cents. Have sexualities and gender expressions outside of the regular LGBT. Have POC represented in your LGBTQIA2S+ stories. Show us asexuality, show us gender fluidity, show us, someone, using they/them pronouns (Proxy is a great story), show us something that we don’t see more often. In my experience, it’s exciting to see yourself represented. It’s very simple to get into the habit of writing cis gay or bi people because we know more about it, it’s easier, it’s more ‘simple’, but a lot of people will help you write about something that you might know a lot about if it means you’re being 1. open-minded 2. listening. 3. understanding that every experience is not like the other.
Questions for YOU! (you can answer some or none, it's really a gay free-for-all here)
- What do you identify as? What are your pronouns?
- What is something you want people to know about you, your sexuality, your gender identity, or your journey?
- Do you have any stories? (i.e experiences, coming out, the ‘lightbulb moment’)
- Do you have any advice for someone younger who’s exploring their identity? What advice would your younger self?
- What’s LGBTQIA2S+ media you’ve enjoyed? (movies, books, T.V shows)
Reminders to those who want to contribute:
- Be respectful. We are all different, unique, and have a lot to offer to the world. Don’t shut people down. Let them speak and use their voice.
- Respect people’s identities and sexuality, you do not get to pick-and-choose who is in the community and you do not get to talk down to them just because they’re not like you. People’s experiences, thoughts, voices, identities and lives are valid. Facts don’t care about your feelings.
- You are not entitled to be educated by marginalized groups of people
I’m asking for a friend- I mean this is hypothetical…