Lilly’s Reviews/Trashings

Finally, an opinion I can take into account. Thank you so much, I absolutely agree with everything you’ve said and I did want to make changes before but couldn’t really find the motivation behind it, but now I know exactly how I’ll change the older episodes. Thank you thank you thank you I’ll work on it right away and I’ll be happy to tell you when I’ve done my final changes.

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Also sorry for my lack of knowledge in technical terms but what’s a full stop that you were talking about?

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Where The Shadows Belong @daniepisodewriter

Errors
•”Ugh, again this kind of dreams.” Doesn’t make sense, I’m not certain what you’re trying to say but “Ugh, that dream again.” Makes more sense
•”Why my alarm is set for 10 o’clock at night.”
•Talia is spotted off screen when she tells Alexia the drinks order
•”My band has a gig coming up soon.” I think this is what Lukas meant?
•In the beginning of episode 3 when Talia is waking slower, you could have the other two talking while waiting for her to catch up

Things I’ve noticed
•Ooh nice animated intro with the bikers
•Your use of overlays is a nice touch
•Careful making the story too similar to Supernatural, make sure you read the guidelines of what is allowed in relation to inspiration/fan fiction
•I’m feeling kinda neutral towards all the characters? Like they seem fine, but I’m not invested in any of them
•It would’ve been nice if we could’ve seen the crowd dancing while the band performs, it all feels a bit rigid
•Good directing in the demon fight scene in episode 2
•It feels really similar to Shadowhunters too
•Wait was that the end of episode 2? It was quite short
•Woah nice reflection in the puddle, great job

Overall
I’d say the story was okay/quite good. It does share quite a lot of similarities to Supernatural and Shadowhunters- so I’d be wary of the guidelines. Your directing was quite mixed, while you had some good bits (the reflection in the puddle and the demon death at the end of episode 3) there were also some bad bits (it all felt quite rigid, try putting more characters in idle animations such as talking, drinking, texting, singing, dancing or crossing the street.) I didn’t feel particularly attached to any of the characters, so I’d work on character development. What are Alexia’s dreams/goals? What annoys her? Make me feel more for her. The pacing was quite good, but your episodes were a bit short. I’d say make them 2-3 minutes longer. Overall I enjoyed your story, but I wouldn’t read anymore. The main reason is the lack of character development, I need more suspense, more depth and a little improvement in directing. Keep going!

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No problem, happy to help!

And a full stop is just a . It’s what I call them, you didn’t miss any apart from in the chores list I don’t think so I wouldn’t worry :wink:

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I just re read your review and noticed I forgot to answer your questions I’m so sorry haha

It depends on which bg you’re talking about. If you’re talking about the throne room or the balcony with the hell view, yes I edited both of them myself.

Yes, when I needed to find the name for her I instantly thought about that. It does come from Adam and Eve.

Me too :smirk:

It was the end of the flirt_fingersnap animation I think but no, it wasn’t an overlay

I’m glad you laughed so much! But really Idk what to say, I don’t think I’m really funny in real life but on Episode I get way more creative.

When the first episodes came out I had a big time issue because there was an error with the portal and all my episodes were deleted so I had to wait for the support team to help me because I was leaving for a while so I wanted to post them fast (long story) but I agree that they are short. It’s what I’m really working on right now. The episodes get longer but right now I’m really going to work on the first ones to get the outcome I really wanted from the start from my story.

I completely agree and my answer for this is really just the same as the previous one.

Your opinion really has a lot of value to me right now so once I’m done with the changes I really hope you’ll give my story a second chance and trash it once again! :blush:

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Thank you so much for your feedback! I really need to make sure people like my characters so I have to make a few changes :confused:

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AW: The Dawn of Resurgence @IAmEms

Errors
•“Strange, isn’t it?” Question mark needed
•”What would a privileged scaro know?” Question mark needed
•Get into the habit of using & each time a character stops talking to put them in idle
•”The day hasn’t begun…” Apostrophe needed
•I’m a quick reader so once I’d read the monologue Aurora was still smalling to her spot while they were talking, you might have to change it to a @ command
•I’m the forest where Falco says “No, no, NO!” Aurora is spotted bigger than him
•When Falco says “Told you they were ugly!” In episode 3 his speechbubble is too low

Things I’ve noticed
•Nice fade in of the character
•Wow, the body part overlays being put back together is so creative!!
•Oh fudge bodies are temporary? Gives me the creeps I’m enjoying this story already
•Omg the newspapers are so cool
•It would’ve been nice to actually see a reflection of Falco when we were looking in the window, like a fade character
•I’m going to be saying carpe diem bitch for days now
•I feel like the pacing of episode 1 is a little strange?
•When Falco is yawning and Aurora is monologing you don’t need her to enter right first, it would be neater if you had her walk rear from the right so we see the back of her head first
•Omg she’s planning a revolution?? I’m intrigued
•Oh no, to win a contest choices have to be impactful throughout, if episodes 1 and 2 are introductory episodes and choices don’t matter that much, it could harm your chances of winning
•”People who are unfit from society are banished to live alone,” I have a feeling they have a space saved for me
•WTF WTF the mouth F no that was the best scare I’ve got off an episode story!!
•They can’t speak for themselves, it’s so emotional I can’t
•Awh Aurora and Falco have such a sweet chemistry
•No wtf Falco you traitor! This story is wild
•Episode 2 was a little short for my liking, but good cliffhanger
•Why is Alessia here exactly?
•Woah episode 3 was quite short

Overall
This story was quite good, very good I’d say. I loved the dialogue between Aurora and Falco- they have great chemistry that I’ve not seen in a episode story before. You also had some great directing at points, the parts of the man, the mouthless people, I was impressed. I also really got into the story, the concept is great, and I’m excited to see what happens. However, your episodes were quite short. Theo bugged me a little because each time I was getting into a episode it ended. Try to make them a bit longer? As this is a contest entry I rated it against the rubic episode provided, and I think you’re in with a good chance, but the lacking choices may hurt your chances. Overall, I will continue this story and recommend it on my Instagram as a contest entry, providing you make your episodes longer and keep up those great cliffhangers!

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OMG THANK YOU!!!
I will just answer your points

I for some reason have a problem with tag questions :smiley: :smiley: I always put . instead of ? idk, even though I like to think I am good at English, sometimes it doesn’t work out perfectly :smiley: :smiley:

YES! I noticed that after I published it and after the deadline and I can’t correct it because if I changed anything, it would get disqualified. It’s bugging me too ._.

Really? Uff, on my phone and my computer it was normal.

I had a problem of putting that in there, I wanted to do exactly that…after the contest I will definitely rework stuff like this.

Same girl! When I researched Latin phrases and quotes I was answering to my mom with only Latin for 2 days…it’s a problem.

I. read. that. after. the. deadline. I. Didn’t. Know. I. Am. A. Failure.

When Aurora talked to Falco about parts of her plan, she said they need a good “squad”. So Falco knew Alessia would be a good fit to help them. I will elaborate on this, dont worry :grimacing::grinning:

!THIS ISNT AN EXCUSE BUT! Long story short, my computer broke down, it’s my first story…I had less time to do the coding AND learn it in the first place :smiley: so I was quite stressed out and I know the story could have turned out better. and 2 of my overlays that could have really stepped it up didnt get approved in time…imagine a (believable) tear on Falco’s zoomed face, opacity to 1, shifts a bit lower, and gradually loses opacity as if it “dried” so that Aurora would not notice.

Thank you for the recommendation!!! sobs quietly :smiley: I will definitely make the episodes longer, and I have great things in store…new additions to the main cast :purple_heart: and a better explanation on wtf is happening :smiley: :smiley:

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Vengeance @lauraepi

Errors
•Use hsl effect to 100% in 0 so that the filter takes effect automatically instead of a few seconds
•”The name is Bailey.” You’d need a apostrophe but it doesn’t look need in the sentence.
•You need a full stop at the end of F.B.I.
•When Bailey and the FBI woman are talking their speechbubbles don’t match where they are
•You need to go over the story and check that the speechbubbles match up to each character
•”You’re fine.” And “You’re coming with me.”
•You need to remove the gun prop from Austin
•”That woman is going to be the death of me.”
•”You kidnapped me.”
•”Is the reason you’re here.”

Things I’ve noticed
•Ooh nice blur effect in the intro
•It might be neater to have just the narration instead of flashing back to Bailey at the grave every few lines? Like as a flash back then back to the present when Bailey talks about having everything taken from her
•Ooh nice arm overlays, but you might need to clean the edges of the white space up
•Hahaha the glasses overlay
•Nice birds eye view of the cars
•You might need a trigger warning or skip scene bit when Austin fires the gun, some people might not be comfortable firing the gun
•Your directing of the dad and brother is a bit slow when they enter the police station, try making them walk to spot a bit quicker
•I don’t really like realistic backgrounds with Ink, I feel the cartoon and the realism clashes
•Uggh an authors note, I like the sentiment but it ruins the effect of the story
•It’s nice that you put a flashing lights warning, but you might need a skip lights option, I have sensitive eyes to light and it might be a bit much for a few people
•Episode 2 was a little short
•It’s nice that you put a skip option at the start of each episode, good thinking
•Hahahah when he closed the door on Draco
•If you use & instead of @ when Draco and Austen are talking at the door, the overlays will move a little smoother
•Why is he giving her clothes? Why doesn’t she have guards watching her?
•Stock characters? Change the way they look! Quick!
•Why has he brought Bailey to the race?
•Nice car racing overlays
•Ooh the plot twist

Overall
Okay I had a few issues with your story. It was okay, but it wasn’t amazing. You have proved that you can direct well with your use of overlays but at the same time the story feels empty. Try to add some more background characters to the police department, the hospital and the restaurant. You need to add some more choices. I don’t think episode 2 or 3 had any? Try to have three choices minimum each episode. You also need to check your speech bubbles, almost every scene they didn’t line up to the characters that were talking. The plot was good, but needed a bit more explaining in episode 3. Why did Austin bring Bailey to the race? Why didn’t he kill her? I know it was to take Jessalyn’s place but surely a woman who is trying to kill you isn’t a logical choice? It left me confused and felt a bit forced. Overall, I wouldn’t continue reading the story. I don’t feel like up was amazed enough to want to know what happens next, and the way Austin and Bailey are thrown together so quickly doesn’t fit right for me. Try to make episodes longer, developing your characters a bit more and adding in some background characters to fill the space a bit more.

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Thanks so much!

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And sorry but what’s do you mean by stock charcters?

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Yeah so that’s what it used to be but someone told me it was wrong?

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Stock characters are characters that haven’t had any customisation whatsoever, they look exactly like they do in the menu when you create them.

And I’m pretty sure you’d need a full stop, idk why you wouldn’t need one there? I know if F.B.I isn’t at the end of a sentence you wouldn’t need one, but if it is I would put one.

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Bumping to say review requests are open, please read all the rules before you request.

@Writer_SA your review is being worked on, I’ve been away for a few days so I haven’t had the chance to read Episode, thanks for your patience :sweat_smile:

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Cover:

Story Title- Pregnant by the bad pregnant robot(?)

Author Name- Some Kid

Number of episodes- 3

Story style- ink

Genre- comedy

Description- Love , laughter and drama collide in this wacky adventure with little life lessons along the way. Will the ships survive? Or will you fail to take the crazy? (the plot is memes)

Of course! No rush!

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Hi, I’d love a review if you’re still doing them. If you decline, that’s cool too :ok_hand:t4:

A simple love story. At least, that’s what Evan and Sierra thought. Will their love story have a happy ending? Or, will the constant interruptions break them apart forever?

Hi!
I have currently three stories and I would love to get a review on all of them. Thank you :blush:

Author: Mystique

  • TEACHER OR QUEEN? - link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5874052041146368
    Description: Queen Darja spent 20 years searching for her long lost family. Is it in her destiny to suffer without her love and her child? Who will she become while fighting for her loved ones?
    Genre: drama
    Style: Limelight
    Number of chapters: 24 (completed)

  • BEING MY AUTHENTIC SELF (TEASER) - link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4977369701482496
    Description: Beatrice a lost writer is going on the craziest adventure of a lifetime - finding happiness and her authentic self! What will she discover on this journey?
    Genre: adventure
    Style: Limelight
    Number of chapters: 3 (completed)

  • ONE MOMENT - link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5588397730365440
    Description: An unlucky car accident brings Mathias and Rosalia together. How life changing will this one moment be?
    Genre: drama
    Style: Limelight
    Number of chapters: 3 (newly published story)

Story Title: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author name: Jannah Jackson
Number of Episodes 6/7 published
Story style: Secret surprise
Genre: Realistic-Fantasy/Mystery/ Adventure/Thriller/Horror
Story Description:
New Description:
Tales of the Old Asians warned that WW2 scars still plagued the exotic-cursed tribe in the mythical land at East South East Asia. The land of Sun, light & black magic, lies and dark secrets. Can you survive, solve the havoc, cleanse and heal, save and free everyone? Or die in vain?

Old Description:
Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you survive, solve the havoc and save everyone before it’s too late? FullCC/MiniGames/Tappables
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5909308359180288
Cover (With symbolic meanings of the cover inside the story)

Additional Info:

  1. Chapters are generally slightly longer than most episode stories…given because of the nature of the plot.

here my story :slight_smile: !
story’s name : The unknown
Author : Lynai
chapters : 3 (coming soon)
genres : drama,comedy,a little bit of thriller ,a little bit of fantasy,action
style : LL
description : you’re a girl on earth who you think your life is normal and that everything is alright,but when you get a text,an Anonymous threatens you.Will you find out who it is?(7 MC)
cover :
image