Looking for Honest Feedback to Improve

Hello there, I go by Mochi on episode! I originally wrote my second episode story for one of my friends who loves vampire school setting romances. It started out as a fun project but eventually when I wrote the plot in its entirety, I became super in love with it. I decided it had potential and entered it in the Fantastical Contest.
I’m not hoping to win or anything, but I was hoping this would be a way to reach more readers with this story.

Anyway… I’m hoping to collect some honest, constructive criticism on my work and some meaningful suggestions on how I can incorporate choices into my episodes without interfering too hard with the plot I wrote for it. I want people’s thoughts on the characters so far. How can I make people like them more? Are they too stereotypical?

I’m also always in the mood for a good drama, mystery sorta story or some really twisty romances. If you have some suggestions feel free to drop them below!

Title: Fantastical: Crimson Bonds
Author: Mochi
Style: Limelight
Genre: Fantasy, Drama
Description: Tessa Masters’ blissful life is put to a screeching halt when her twin brother undergoes near heart failure. Desperate to do anything necessary to afford her brother’s medical needs, she contracts herself to be the personal blood source to a handsome vampire. What will become of their lives now?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6486712033607680


I wouldn’t mind giving a review and helping you out for your story. Would you mind reading mine in return, you can just read it without doing a review unless you want to!

Fantastical: Saving Hybrid

Author: Silkhydra

Description: Your life is changed forever on one fateful night when you are attacked by a ghoul. High school, sexy strangers, and jokester pixies? What could go wrong? (C.C & Multiple Romance!)

Genre: Fantasy

Style: Ink

Chapters published: 3 (ONGOING) :rofl:

Instagram: Silkhydra_episode

Story Name: Simple to Chaos
Description: Two Best friends take a turn for the worst when a school shoot-out happens and they’re the names a gang member is calling for.

Genre: Action/Adventure
Sub-genre: Mystery, Thriller, Comedy,
Some tags: CC, Choices, LGBTQ+, Trailblazer, Clichebreaker

Instagram : @lee.lee_26
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6065730015199232


If you do want feedback. I’ll only do three chapters,