Hello! I thought to make this thread because I would like multiple people(or at least 1) to review my co-writer @eliseclairmont and I’s story!
Here is the information about it! Title:QUEER: The One Author:@eliseclairmont and myself(Elle on the Episode app) Review type(I.E detailed, sugar coated, short, etc):A detailed and honest as possible review please. Episodes you want reviewed:All 3 please! Genre:Mystery(it also has fantasy in it). Description:Follow Detective Hudson who has spent their life trying to put their family’s tragic history behind them until a new serial killer threatens to uncover the past. M/F MC, 4 LI, CM PM or public review?: Public or PM, either works. Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4558247446773760
Here is out cover too in case you want it/need it.
I’ve never reviewed any episode story but I think I could try? I’m really honest though Just tell me if you’re okay with it and I’ll do it in an hour or two
Here I am back with my review, hope you like it and I wish you two good luck with the next episodes! There wasn’t a lot of flaws, but there’s a big one sadly. It’s definitely fixable though. You’re both really good!
Review
DIRECTING
The coding is just amazing?? I can see you worked a lot on it, and honestly it was def worth it, however I would have liked more zooms, seeing the background once is good, but I’d like to see mainly characters, The scene where we were in Christina’s POV was pretty weird ngl but it was good, I’ve never seen that before, During the first episode, the zoom between the two zones in the crime scene scene was really slow, it made it pretty annoying to read. I’d recommend zooming like 300% on each character and making the change immediate, like a cut you know? Moving slowly the camera should be used carefully as it slows down the reader. In episode 2, there was issues of characters suddenly changing outfits in the start of the scene, remember to make them change offscreen. The intro for episode 3 was really good as well.
PLOT
Confusing is the word. Confusing isn’t bad, it just should be used well. The parents arguing was bad confusing, The parents death? Really good confusing. Being confused should be a good thing, but before the crime scene in episode 1, I really didn’t know what was going on. At the start, I didn’t understand who the h*ll was Kayla, Intriguing the reader is good, and I think a story needs questions, but not a million of them. The way you introduced the characters was good. Rather than all at once, it felt way more natural this way. I’d have liked if you had done more with Kayla missing. It felt like an excuse to see her. I’d probably change Kala’s name if I were you, usually I recommend not having two characters’s names start with the same letter. I really, really think the angels were unnecessary, or should have been introduced earlier. Again, it was confusing.
WILL I CONTINUE READING IT?
Yes, most probably, it’s got flaws, but the direction is worth it and I think the story will get better as we get to know the characters. The main flaw is how certain things don’t make sense as of yet. I’d give hints, maybe? Readers of mystery tend to love to guess the big bad, so make sure we get to know the murderer before actually knowing it’s the murderer.
I’d love to review your story. A warning in advance my reviews tend to end up being pages long because I tend to go into detail of every scene’s grammar, plot holes, directing and what I think could improve the story. But I send all my reviews privately. Is it okay if I give it a go?
Just a side note, names are actually VERY crucial to the plot. And even if two characters have a name starting with the same letter, it wouldn’t be a huge bother at all.
You can make up a reason behind and that usually gives more detail to tbe story. @Danielle318 I can review your story if you are still looking for it!
Just tell me if you’re okay with it and I’ll do it in an hour or two 
