Looking for opinions on my new story

hii. this is my first story and since i’m on a chromebook, i’m just gonna write about the first chapter on here. any feedback/suggestions are appreciated!!

so basically the story revolves around the MC, dawn. she lives a normal life, and works as a florist.one day, these three guys come into her shop, and she treats them like any other customer,not knowing that they are apart of the most well known mafia in NYC. one of the guys tell her that his name is Theo Di Amico. she doesn’t really care lol. after they leave, her and her friends chat about those guys, but not for very long. later, dawns friends come over to her apartment and tell her to get up. shes all sad and tired, since its her anniversary of her breakup. dawns friends,naomi and camila, cheer her up by taking her to the new club, “Kaiser”, downtown. she gets drunk and is having fun, until someone behind her says, “hello, doll”.

and then the chapter stops there. there’s a lot more details,i just dont wanna spoil it. lmk what u guys think! this is a mafia romance story, and i’m aware that there are mixed opinions on them, but i’m interested about what u guys think.

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I think there are too many mafia stories, but it otherwise seems like a good plot since that’s just my opinion :woman_shrugging:

I also think the “going to the club and getting drunk” kind of thing is overly used and a little cliche, so that part needs a little improvement. Try to come up with something a little more surprising.


okk i have a couple ideas but there also kinda cliche, do u have any???

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Hm… have you thought of entering a contest? This might help you get some inspiration:

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ouuuuu cool idea!! thank u sm!

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Moved to Share Feedback since you’re looking for opinions on your story. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :smiley:

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