so I started my first story ever. I would love to have someone review it for me
Send me the link! I’ll give it a proofread. <3
I’ll give it a read too
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ok thanks a bunch
Ok so the mistakes in episode 1:
~ First scene where it’s talking about the kingdom you spelt princesses wrong.
~ Where you say Earth, the overlay doesn’t appear with the background straight away, try using the & symbol before u add the overlay.
~ in the scene where Darcia and Manzur are talking you forgot the ending punctuation after she says “I will show you”.
~ When princess Aerwyna is talking, after she says “it is so beautiful” you need a full stop, also when she says “I guess I will go in” you could add her saying now then add the full stop you missed.
~ When Jacki is first speaking, you spelt “travelling” wrong.
Things you could add to make it transition better and make the story flow more:
~ Fade in transitions before each new background/scene.
~ Add zoom ins of the characters whilst they are talking. (not too close though!)
Other than that so far so good
I’ll review more and give you more feedback when my phone is fully charged.
Ok that’s great. thanks so much for checking it out!
If you submit your story here we will be sure to give you some feed back:)