Looking for stories to review... CLOSED UNTIL IV'E FINISHED CURRENT REVIEW REQUESTS


#1

Hey guys, so I have some time on me and was wondering if anyone wants any story reviews?
I’ll try and answer ASAP…:grin:
I will review your story based on the following aspects:

Choices
(Amount / influence on story)

Grammar, spelling, and use of vocabulary
Bad grammar is something that tends to bug me ahaha :sweat_smile:

Plot line
Is your story original and interesting to readers? Or is it cliche and predictable?

Characters/character development
Are your characters realistic and relatable? do they have interesting back stories?

Interesting dialogue
Is the dialogue between characters engaging and does it keep readers interested? Or is it a bit pointless and unrealistic…

Directing
Is there an interesting use of overlays (I understand overlays can be quite confusing to new writers, so therefore i won’t judge if there isn’t any / much use of overlays…).
Are you characters spaced well and are there errors with layering?..

There will probably be other influential factors that i’ll add on to the bottom…
Reply to me with your story name, author name and share link etc.

Don’t worry if you don’t think your story is good enough, the whole point of these reviews is to help you improve and refine your writing / directing skills, and remember to try and not make your story directing too complex if you are just starting out…

-Ivy


#2

Hey! I would really love a story review! Here are my story details:

Title: Reformed
Author: Cordelia M
Description: Reformed bad girl falls for bad boy who reminds her of her past - cliché, right? But what if Violet isn’t truly reformed? What if she’s secretly still badder than Carter ever was?
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4696324662099968

Thank you! Hope you enjoy Xx


#3

Story title: In The Woods
Style: Limelight
Author: Jasmijn
Description: Will you forget all the bad things happened in your past? Will you be able to move on, find love and go to the university? And will you be able to enjoy live again?
Genre: Drama (combination of romance and mystery)
Episodes: 3 (more coming soon, 4 and 5 are almost finished)



#4

@Ivory I would love a review from ya!

Title: Lost Boy Lost Girl
Author: MrBitPlayer
Genre: Drama
Episodes: 4
Description: A lonely girl next door and troubled bad boy come closer as challenges bring out the worse and best in them. [CC] [+perspectives+]
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6253275339161600


#5

Here’s my story!

image

Title: Scandalous
Author: Mina
Genre: Drama/mystery
Description: After the murder of her best friend, Catalina uncovers secrets that change everything she thought she knew, and clues that could lead her to the killer before they strike again.
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4694544914055168

Choices matter in this story! Your choices determine if the killer is found, and who lives or dies.

You can follow me on instagram: @minaa.episode as well!


#6

Hey! i’ll take a look at your story, live in England though so you’ll probably get my review tomorrow, as it’s quite late here right now… hope that’s okay! :grin:


#7

No problem aha! Guess who also lives in England…
Xx


#8

Hey! I’ve started looking at your story and I’m really liking it so far! Hopefully your review will be ready by tomorrow :blush:
( loving the cover art btw)


#9

Hi there! I’ll be sure to take a look at your story soon. The plot sounds really interesting and I love the cover art :grin:


#10

@Ivory Did you missed my message? Because you didn’t responded…


#11

Hiiiii. Please do me a review. Here’s my story details. :blush:

Title: Puppy Love
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance
Link: https://www.episodeinteractive.com/s/i/5630801559027712
IG: @authorlou.episode

Description:
Jason caught himself in a CRAZY, complicated situation. Watch out on how he will handle his true feelings for Alli. Will he fall in love with his DOG??


#12

Hi, my name is Dani!
Here’s my story:
Title: Darkness
Author: Dani
Style: Ink
Description: If you can’t get away from darkness, you learn to live with it… A vampire story with action, adventure, mystery and, of course, romance!
This is not a cliche vampire story!
Episodes: 8 (more to come)
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5439290271858688
Instagram: daniepisodewriter
I hope you like it :black_heart:


#13

Yes, please.

Story: Diary of a Middle School Teacher
Author: Marianna Escalante
Style: Limelight
Genre: Comedy
Description: Mia moves to her uncle’s hacienda in Mexico to teach middle school, but an old crush, two mysterious families, and her students complicate everything.
Instagram: @episodemarianna
Link:


#14

Hi, I would appreciate a review on my story

Title: Stained Love - LGBTQ
Author: Micah
Episodes: 3
Description: Charlene is alone and pregnant with 2 sets of twins, the trouble is, each set of twins have a different father, one or both could be gay. Will she ever be with who she loves? LGBTQ.

Thanking you in advance

Micah


#15

Title: Fantastical: Eternal
Author: Shuba
Episodes: 3
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5660002146975744

This is a contest story, so if you are starting mine, please don’t stop it in between, because that might affect my scoring.Would love to get feedback’s. Thank you.


#16

Title: Lost Boy Lost Girl

Hi! Finally finished your review for you….
Remember, you don’t have to go along with anything I say here; this is your story and you get to make the decisions, if there’s something you personally like about your story and I happen to not like it, don’t change it just because of my opinion. The most important thing about writing on episode is to have fun!

Plot :
I really enjoyed the plot to this story, It’s really enjoyable to read! I really like your use of multiple POV’s, it really helps keep the story engaging, and gives you an insight to what different characters think about the same situation, instead of maybe just having “The mysterious bad boy.”
I like how each character has their own problems, and they how they all get tied up together into one story…Maybe in the first episode you might want to add a bit more to to Destiny’s character (this is just a suggestion) as this is the episode you need to grab people’s attention to keep them reading - although I wouldn’t add too much, as you want to keep some things as a mystery (maybe tease something about her backstory to the readers?) Overall, I think you have a really strong plot, I would definitely pick this story over half the stories in the trending section!

Directing:
Your directing is pretty good, (it’s not anything super fancy but that will come in time :slight_smile: )
I really like your use of zooms, they can really help build up the atmosphere.
The way you used animations when there was no dialogue also really helped me understand what the character was feeling at that point without having thought bubbles (which can sometimes make things feel forced and unrealistic).
There are a few small mistakes that i’ll list below – remember some of them are just suggestions!

-Leo & Andrew robbery scene…
When Leo stands between the french doors, he looks a tad too tall- or maybe he’s just meant to be quite tall?
(I’m being a bit picky here lol)

  • Destiny doctors scene (Ep 1) :
    When the doctor is explaining the characteristics of someone with dependent disorder, maybe split the dialogue into a few more speech bubbles, as they can get a bit too long, or you might just want to shorten what he says a bit (just a small suggestion).

- Scene after Leo & Andrew’s robbery (I think it’s end of ep 1?)
The extras in the background look slightly too big (they should be a bit smaller than the characters that are closer to the screen).

  • Ep 4 scene 1:
    For some reason, when Destiny is picking her outfit, she doesn’t show on screen?
    This might just be a glitch with my phone, but if I were you i’d check it out just in case…

Characters:
Your characters are very believable and realistic which I really like (and i’m sure others will too!). They all have their own special attributes and imperfections.
This is pretty much all I have to say about them, and i’m looking forward to seeing how they develop in the coming episodes!

Dialogue:
Your dialogue was engaging most of the time, and you brought out the characters personalities from the way they speak. Just be careful that your characters don’t state something that is very obvious to the reader (unless it’s for comedic effect) This didn’t happen that much in your story, but I thought i’d mention it as a helpful tip for the future.
Just a little suggestion : You might want to add some small comedic bits of dialogue between scenes that aren’t really crucial to the story, but can just help lighten the mood a bit (especially because your story is quite serious) - who doesn’t enjoy a good bit of humour ?

Typos/Grammar/Spelling:
All of this was mostly good, just a few small mistakes that you might want to fix:
(mistakes are in bold)

  • Ep 1 scene 1
    Destiny: ‘Aw gee what was it I was supposed to do at this time?’
    It doesn’t really make sense with ‘at’ in the middle, not sure if this is just a typo but you’ll need to take ‘at’ out of the sentence for it to make sense.

  • Ep 1 : Nadia & Destiny just before interview scene (not sure of scene number)
    Nadia says: ‘None of the women have yet to receive the job’ for this to make sense it should probably say ‘none of the women have yet received the job’ - or something along those lines…

  • Leo robbery mini-game scene (Ep 1):
    When you pick the wrong thing in the mini- game, the narrator says ‘opps
    (it should say oops instead of opps)

  • Ep 4 scene 2
    Andrew says: ‘Crap it’s a ambush,’ when it should say ‘crap it’s an ambush’

  • Destiny & Leo cafe scene (Ep 2)
    When Leo is saying his name, he says ‘Mines is Leo,’
    there should be no ‘s’ on the end of ‘mine.’

You used a wide range of vocabulary which can make the story sound more professional and sophisticated.:grinning:

Choices:
You have a great amount of choices in your story, and they really engage the reader. You might want to try and incorporate a few big influential choices that affect the story later on (I understand that this can be quite hard but you might want to give it a go).
I really like the mini-game in episode 1 I think? It really gives the reader a sense of control over the outcome. I also like that you made an option to change Destiny’s clothes, there’s a really good range of outfit styles as well :upside_down_face:

Small tips:
when you use narration bubbles to indicate someone thinking or saying something, you might want to put the characters name at the top of the bubble, to make it clear who’s saying what. If you’re not sure how to do this, here is the code for it:

NARRATOR (CHARACTER NAME HERE)
Whatever you want to say here…

Overall, this is a very enjoyable read, and has lot’s of potential. My favourite aspect of this story is probably the use of multiple POV’s, the way you switch from one scene to the other just as things start to build up is really effective, it’s similar to the way films and TV series work! I’m looking forward to seeing how the story develops, and how you grow as a writer!
If you have any questions about anything said here, feel free to ask me…
Happy writing!
-Ivy


#17

I didn’t realise how long I made that review haha,
I hope it helped though!
Also I forgot to mention, on your title screen where it says to tap slowly, it says throughly when it should say thoroughly, i hope that won’t be too hard to edit! It’s not that big of a mistake so it probably won’t matter if you don’t change it…:upside_down_face:


#18

thank you @Ivory!

I’m going to take your criticisms and insight to make my story better in the mean time. I’m also a beginner writer, so I appreciate your kingship and advice alot :grin:. You seem like an experienced writer yourself, so if I have a question I won’t hesitate to ask (haha).


#19

Hi, sorry I didn’t respond…
I’ll try and get to your story as soon as possible, i’m a bit overwhelmed with reviews & schoolwork right now, but hopefully i’ll be able write you a review soon!


#20

Hey there! your story is next on my review list…
You’ll probably get your review tonight or tomorrow morning (English time)
Hope that’s not a problem! :grin: