LTea Reviews & Advice


#1

This is not a ‘Promote Your Story’ Thread. I am creating detailed reviews with opinions and advice on improving a story. If you just want reads, do not request a review from me. These take me an hour to complete, please be considerate.

WELCOME TO LTEA REVIEWS

Yes, I’m finally back on the new forums, sorry for the delay! Here I will be taking requests and posting reviews of your Episode stories. I will offer my personal thoughts and opinions, as well as advice on how I think things could be improved (and everyone can improve, because nobody is perfect.) If you would like a detailed review, please fill out the request form carefully and tag me when you are done. If your request has been accepted, I will add you to the waiting list. I have a record of the previous waiting list, so if you were on the previous list, and you still want your review, just say and I will add you to the top of the new list.

MY REVIEW FORMAT
As I have other things to do, and I do not have money to buy unlimited passes, I shall only be reading 1-3 chapters of your stories. I shall always read the first one, but after that it is up to your writing skills to grip me.

Review Layout

FIRST IMPRESSION: This includes the title, cover, description, my personal thoughts as well as general opinions. This will also include the first few moments of your story, and my expectation for the rest.

PLOT: This will obviously look at the set-up and theme of your overall story. Ignoring other factors, I will look at the concept you created for your story, and how you have utilised it. This is where I focus mostly, as well as how your characters best fit in. Don’t worry, I’m polite with constructive criticisms, and I know how difficult storytelling can be.

CHARACTERS: This is one of the things I talk about in good depth, because Characters are everything to a story. I will look at your protagonist, and other notable characters, as well as how you voice them, design them, and animate them.

DIRECTION: This will look at how you have built your story using Episode’s extensive tools to your capabilities. I will consider the use of animations, directions, Sound (if you use it), and backgrounds/art (if you have it.)

ERRORS: This will be where I acknowledge any glitches, spelling mistakes, or otherwise. My personal spelling, however, is not top notch, and I tend to overlook them as much as any other. There are other threads and reviewers who will look closely at these for you, but I am not one of them. If I see any, I will let you know, but it is always good to double check your work before you publish. This section can be merged with ‘Direction’ if I notice all the errors are there.

OVERALL: This will conclude my thoughts on your overall story, what I personally thought, and any major things to look into. I will be courteous of your work, as I know how much work goes into making any level of story, but I will also be honest. Don’t be disheartened, anyone can improve with just a few tips, and I would never outright insult your work.


if you would like me to focus on any specific area, or take notice of certain aspects, don’t hesitate to let me know. If you would also like specific advice or help, feel free to message me and I will do my best to help you or direct you to someone who can. I’m here to help, after all.

REQUEST FORM
I will only accept requests that have followed this form, as it shows you have actually acknowledged my work in writing this post, and aren’t just spamming the forums to advertise your story. Please do not request if you are overly sensitive to constructive criticism, as I will be honest in my thoughts – though I will also be considerate and polite, so don’t be too scared. If in doubt, check some of my other reviews, and you can reach your own verdict. If I have accepted your request, you will be added to the waiting list.

Request Form

ᴾᵉʳˢᵒᶰᵃᶫ ᴺᵒᵗᵉ﹕
ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃᶰ ᵉˣᵖᵉʳᵗ⋅ ᴵ ᵈᶦᵈ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵃ ᶜᵒᶫᶫᵉᵍᵉ ᵈᵉᵍʳᵉᵉ, ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵃ ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᶦᵒᶰᵃᶫ ᵖᵘᵇᶫᶦˢʰᵉᵈ ʷʳᶦᵗᵉʳ ⁽ᵃᶫᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᴵ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ˢᵒᵒᶰ…⁾ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᶦᶰ ᶰᵒ ʷᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᶠᶦᶰᶦᵗᶦᵛᵉ ᵒᶰ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵒᵘᶫᵈ ᵈᵒ⋅ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵒᶠᶠᵉʳᶦᶰᵍ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒᶰᵃᶫ ᵃᵈᵛᶦᶜᵉ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᵖᶦᶰᶦᵒᶰˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ᵒᶠ ᵉˣᵖᵉʳᶦᵉᶰᶜᵉ ᵃˢ ᵃ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ/ʷʳᶦᵗᵉʳ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵈᵒᶰᵉ ᵉᶰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒᶰᵃᶫ ʳᵉˢᵉᵃʳᶜʰ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶰᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃˢᶦᶜˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵒʳʸᵗᵉᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ⋅ ᴵᶠ ᴵ ᵈᵒ ᶰᵒᵗ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ, ᵈᵒ ᶰᵒᵗ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵒᶠᶠᵉᶰᶜᵉ, ᶦᵗ ᶦˢ ᵃ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒᶰᵃᶫ ᵒᵖᶦᶰᶦᵒᶰ⋅ ᴵ ᵃᵐ ᵒᶰᵉ ᶦᶰ ᵇᶦᶫᶫᶦᵒᶰˢ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵖʳᵒᵐᶦˢᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ᵐᵃʸ ᶰᵒᵗ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ, ᵒᵗʰᵉʳˢ ᶫᶦᵏᵉᶫʸ ʷᶦᶫᶫ⋅ ᴵᵗ ᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᶫᶦᵏᵉ ᵐᵒˢᵗ ˢᵗᵒʳᶦᵉˢ, ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᶦˢ ᶰᵒ ˢᵉᵗ ᵒᶠ ʳᵘᶫᵉˢ ᵒʳ ᶠᵃᶜᵗˢ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ᵇʸ⋅ ᵀʰᶦˢ ᶦˢ ᵃᶰ ᶦᶰᵈᵘˢᵗʳʸ ᵒᶠ ᵒᵖᶦᶰᶦᵒᶰˢ, ᵃᶰᵈ ᵒᵖᶦᶰᶦᵒᶰˢ ᶜʰᵃᶰᵍᵉ⋅


Completed Reviews Archive
Tips & Trix ~ Coming Soon
Suggestions ~ Coming Soon


#2

WAITING LIST

x Jahstoriess - ‘Mortality’ by Jayda
x daniepisodewriter - ‘Darkness’ by Dani
x kahotshot - ‘Publicity Problems’ by Karlon Artis
x Marianna Escalante - ‘Diary of a Middle School Teacher’ by Marianna Escalante
x Alex Af - ’ H & V: Fate’ by Alex Af
x Littlefeets - ‘No Longer An Average Teenager’ by Brooke
x GraceX - ‘The Art of the Deal’ by GraceX
x Ltxo - ‘From Girly to Manly’ by Ltxo
x Aleexx - ‘I feel it coming’ by A.P
x AMar - ‘H & V: Lie to me’ by Alexandra Mar
x feck.b - ‘SHANKED!’ by feck.b
x Jane_Vent - ‘STAR POWER Fame Through My Eyes’ by Jane Vent
x Himawari - ‘Spotlight: Jellyfished’ by Himawari
x Micah - ‘Stained love’ by Micah
x lisa.p - ‘The Next Stage’ by - Lisa.p
x bnmfxo - ‘Love Has No Color’ by Limelight Stories
x aprilish - ‘Silhouettes’ by aprilish
x GirlLykAnn - ‘Cupid’s Arrow: You Cannot Buy My Love’ by GirlLykAnn
x Lizard - ‘Over Before You Know It’ by Lizard
x WinterMoon05 - 'Quiet Confidence ’ by Winter05 with S.Dsana
x Leslie Loo - ‘Sharing the Gospel’ by Leslie Loo
x Queen_Faith - 'Fantastical: Falling From Grace ’ by Episode Royalty
x rawda.s - ‘The Guy Next Door’ by Rawda
x BadassSaasha - ‘Fantastical : The hidden powers’ by BadassSaasha and Jassie12dw
x gisellec - ‘The Ember Moon Pack’ by Giselle Crescent
x lou.episode - ‘Puppy Love’ by Lou
x harly_episode - ‘Beautiful Broken Lies’ by Hannah & Carly
x QueenDaya16 - ‘Zombie High’ by Jadia Brown
x TheBigMystery - ‘Fantastical: Regnum Fortes’ by TheBigMystery
x paumarr - ‘The Nation D: Moon Eyes’ by P Marroquín
x PrettyEri - ‘Kotton Kandie’ by Pretty Eri

Please remember to tag me so I am alerted when a Form is complete.


#3

Moved to Share Feedback section as that’s where review threads live! :v:t2:


#4

Can you do an unpublished story?


#5

Agh, there’s so many weird new places… -_-
I’ll get used to it one day. hopefully.

Thanks! :+1:t2:


#6

Yup, just send me the link, and be sure you’ve got enough for me to actually review. :wink:


#7

Yup I’m just finishing up episode 3 and ill send it right now


#8

Thanks, can you also fill out the form please. Helps make sure I’ve got everything I need.


#9

Just did


#10

Done :ok_hand::blush:


#11

I filled out the form.


#12

I filled out the form. :sunglasses:


#13

Hi! I was on the previous waiting list and I’d love to get a review. Thank you!


#14

Hey, thank you! I’ll have you placed at the top of the new waiting list, but can you fill out the new form please? just helps keep things organised, thank you!


#15

Yes, of course! I’ll fill it out right away. Thank you!


#16

@akasha – I only read the first chapter. I must give you all the credit I can for those stunning visuals, really, I’ve never seen anything quite so impressive, but story wise things were just incredibly slow. I think this may be what’s holding your story back, because visuals wise things were amazing.

LTea's Review - 'Hearts Reunited’ by Akasha Seavue

’Hearts Reunited’ by Akasha Seavue

A story about a girl who moves back to live near her rich parents, and wants to be a fashion designer.

FIRST IMPRESSION: Your description was rather vague and a bit confusing. There was no real way on telling what it would be about, and Drama is a pretty vague genre in general, because I’d argue a story isn’t worth reading without a bit of Drama in. Anyway, the Title is more of a Romance theme, but is apparently unique, so you have that. I liked the cover, though some of the touch up shading is a bit off, and you have a good amount of reads. Overall, your story didn’t exactly reach out to me, but it didn’t have me fearing the worst. So, not bad.

The first few seconds really made me sit up. As I mentioned, your visuals were amazing, and the mix of sound, fades, transitions and overlays meant that everything worked nicely. Only… this quickly lost it’s appeal. After a few scenes, I felt like I was watching a silent movie. A lot of the zooms took a little too long, the fact that she was travelling was way over compensated, and I wasn’t being told anything for almost five minutes apart from, ‘this girl is travelling’. Mind-blowing visuals aside, you need to start where the story starts. The travelling thing is interesting, but maybe consider adding hints and context along with it. Just something to tell us more then, ‘this girl is taking a flight’.

PLOT: So, I found myself skim reading a lot of pointless filler context. No offence, dialogue and context are key parts to building characters and worlds, but it only matters if it’s relevant to the plot. And only if it’s not obstructing the plot. A lot of the first chapter was just the MC looking around and decorating her apartment. I got it from the first few seconds, she’s moved. It’s her own place… I just said the same amount of stuff in two seconds. I think you may want to greatly cut this whole scene down and add in the actual plot, because so far I only assume it’s about that brother guy that was briefly mentioned coming back. One, that is a romance genre plot, and two… Who is he? If he’s a main character, we should see much more of him. Memories relevant to the plot. I don’t need to know about some childhood friend until he starts adding something to the story. I don’t need to know about a happy Christmas spent with family, unless something important happened then. As nice as it was, I felt like I had asked someone for the time, and they’d given me their entire life story. The first chapter should start where the story starts, and whatever your story is, it needs to be clear from the get go.
Who is the MC, what is her goal, where is this story going, what is important that we need to know. Everything else is just details, like seasoning in a soup. Add too much, all you’ve got is watery seasoning. And please don’t tell me ‘the story comes in later’ because the story should always be in the first chapter. No excuses. Otherwise, it’s a prologue, and those are difficult to keep people interested with.

CHARACTERS: Plot and characters go hand in hand. If I can’t tell what the plot is, I’m just watching generic people go about their day, and I can do that anywhere. You have the classic overbearing rich mother, the rich MC who just wants to be treated normally, and the best friend…. That was about it. I mean, I skipped a lot of empty dialogue, but I can guarantee if you work on building the plot in, it will be a lot easier to make the characters stand out on their own. Otherwise, why was the guy randomly staring in front of a parked car? I mean, that’s not exactly discrete.

DIRECTION: Okay, so, visuals were amazing. But you did have some problems. As I mentioned, there were a lot of really slow moments. A lot of pauses on characters just looking at each other, which nobody does in real life because that’s called an awkward silence, and we try to avoid them at all cost. The bedroom background was a little cluttered in my opinion. Some backgrounds were quite fuzzy, but I did love what you did with the decoration. I mean, I was also bored because there was nothing else going on, but from a visual perspective it looked really cool. I especially liked the wardrobe place.

ERRORS: The ‘LOVE’ art you did isn’t actually aligned with the frames, I don’t know if this was on purpose or not but it looked pretty weird. The lights while she’s driving also went from green to red, when I think they were supposed to go red to green. I did skip a lot of text, so if there were spelling or grammar errors I would have missed them, but either way it’s always good to just give a check now and then. You never know, after all.

OVERALL: Some brilliant visuals, and the start of a great story, but you really need to pick up the pace on actually getting the plot across. I think that’s where your story has been held back. Consider cutting some of your scenes and adding in some plot or important context, and you should be good to go!

If you would like a second review after editing, don’t hesitate to let me know, but understand that I could be busy. If you would just like advice, or would like me to explain something I have said, feel free to message me and I shall get back to you as soon as. Don’t be disheartened by anything I have said. A good writer has talent, but a great one is made through practice. I look forward to seeing what you do with this. Goodluck!
~L


#17

Hi @LTea ! I was also on the waiting list on the old forum, but I have submitted the form now. Would love to hear what you think of my story. Thank you!


#18

Thank you very much for creating this thread, this is very kind of you! Constructive criticism is exactly what I am looking for!

I have submitted the form and am looking forward to your feedback!

:blue_heart::blue_heart::blue_heart:


#19

Thank you!


#20

I filled out the form. (It says that it is my 1st story. It is my 1st story but I also have a few other stories too)