Mafia stories... what needs to be changed to make them better?

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#1

I am currently writing one… and I know a bunch of you will sigh and be like “‘not another one…” but after reading a bunch I really wanted to give it a go.

I’ve read many mafia stories and many are similar (except some which actually had different plots which shocked me and were amazing) but a bunch are very similar to each other.

I really want to know what you guys think will improve mine. I dont want it to be the same cliche story you’ve seen 50 thousand times, I wanted to make it fun, interesting.

Here’s what I have so far to try spice it up

  • Multiple endings
  • Choices matter
  • Currently trying to add complex mini games

And I cant reveal more because it’ll spoil the story

But pleaseeee leave some things you want to see in mafia stories, something that makes them more realistic or less violent even (as I know some promote violence to the main character from the LI which is gross).

Also, there is one thing: I WILL NOT BE MAKING THE LI LOOK LIKE A HERO! Real people have been affected by mafias and to glorify them is just simply wrong.

And one last other thing is, I will be putting a disclaimer and warning at the beginning of each chapter, because I know some people can take episode stories to extreme imagination and I don’t want the story influencing young viewers to go out finding bad boys who could easily harm them.

It wont be a basic warning like “this story contains blah blah blah” it’s going to be a detailed warning on how the story is completely fictional and to not go out looking for bad boys, as in real life they will do you more harm than good.

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#2

This sounds grossly harsh, but I refuse to read stories where the LI is a crime boss, in the mafia, etc. It doesn’t really matter how you frame them or if you avoid making them a hero. They are dangerous people and are murderers. Once you’re in the mafia, it’s impossible to leave… so even a plot centered and that is unrealistic.

What I would want in a mafia or crime story, would be to see detectives TAKE. THEM. DOWN. Maybe the the two detectives could fall in love with each other while working together? Stories with detective work are interesting and can be very interactive; I love them. Plus, this type of plot avoids any sort of accidental romanticization.

IDK, it all just goes back to my first statement: I will not read a story where the MC or the LI is involved with crime and / or the mafia. Too many people have been affected by the mafia and organized crime for me to even think about entertaining the idea of a story that treats the mafia as anything other than an abomination in need of destroying.

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#3

Its not harsh at all don’t worry and I agree, that’s why I’m still actually debating about writing the story at all. I want to be so careful when involving things like mafias and I’m honestly stuck, reason I wanted to write one based on them was because of the ones I read

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#4

And just to add on to this, maybe the love interest isn’t another FBI agent, but rather the son / daughter of the mafia leader and wants OUT. This scenario would be something I’d like… That way, the MC (who is a detective of some sorts), would work together with the leader’s child in order to take everyone down. IDK if that makes sense but it would add some good drama and avoid romanticization as well.

#5

Honestly mafia stories with good endings to me are just corny and unrealistic. I’d rather read a mafia story with an ending that makes you want to throw yourself across the globe. For example,

He/She ran away with their fellow gang members because their gang was exposed. He/She tried to follow them but ended up losing them. In the end they found someone who loves them and they found nothing and continued to lead the gang.

Or like here’s this quote for example,

I’ve heard rumours all over town about them. I choose to stop listening, wherever they are and whatever they’re doing, I wish them the best.

Seeing character development in the gang member or mafia leader is unrealistic. Once you’re a mafia you can’t get out. BUT

Seeing the person who you choose to be in love with the gang member or mafia leader, it’s eh somewhat realistic when they have character growth, because they learn from mistakes.

#6

all i’m going to say is choices matter A LOT and it’s going to be a little tricky to get the happy ending, let’s just say i’ve added a lot of- different endings :flushed: