Make description shorter!

I was thinking bout this description but too long.

Ivanita is a daughter of a mafia boss. She does underground fighting? and is named “The defeater”. Her father kept her a secret. Her father works with another mafia boss, who has a son, Xolio, soon to be a mafia boss, they get close and starts developing feelings and makes her weak to the knees.What will happen? Is the relationship risky?

Someone make it shorter

The basic plot:
Ivanita is an assassin , best woman fighter and only her brother and 2 best friend know bout that… She go to high school even tho her dad didn’t want that cause he is a mafia boss!! Everyone thought that The defeater was a man who was very powerful and good !! People didn’t know that the defeater was Ivanita… and then a boy named Xolio soon to be mafia boss with powerful father and Xolio will go to the same school as Ivanita …They will have to stay together because their family will work together…I’m sorry their are more!

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Maybe like…
Ivanita, the daughter of a mafia boss worked herself the name as “The Defeater”. Xolio, the son of the man who Ivanita’s father is working with, also soon a to be mafia boss. When they develop feelings for each other, what will happen?

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To long 180 words max!!

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Ivanita and Xolio cross paths in the mafia business. When they develop feelings for each other, what will happen?

idk tbh

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Need for info!!

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Moved to Share Feedback since this is about story descriptions. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :smiley:

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Nothing can stop “The Defeater” not her mafia dad, not her enemies, nobody. That was until a young upcoming mafia boss entered her life, will she take the risk?

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I might go with this one!!

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wish you luck on the story <3

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You should say thank you to everyone for giving time to help you, instead of just saying it’s too short, more info, just an opinion :)) good luck with your story

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Thank you so much :two_hearts:

uhh I never said it was to short I said I need help making it shorter, yuh and thank you :two_hearts:

When others helped and you replied to them, you simply said it’s too short, or you need more info, without saying ‘but thank you’, but that is just how I think people should treat each other, I was just giving advice lol

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As the daughter of a mafia boss and an underground fighter, Ivantita is kept a secret her whole life. But will her newfound feelings for soon to be mafia boss, Xolio, risk everything?

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Ok thank you!!

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oh, I love this thank you :two_hearts:

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No problem! I’m glad I could help <3.

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:two_hearts: :slightly_smiling_face:

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