~Mashia & Cat's Review Thread~ [CLOSED]

Hey guys!

We’ve closed the thread because we have 10 requests already but we’ll reopen when we get down to 5 reviews left so don’t worry :wink: :blush:

Thanks! :revolving_hearts:

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Could I change mine to a video request instead? I see you have a lot of written ones and I don’t want to overwhelm you :joy:

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XD Sure, thanks! :joy: :revolving_hearts:

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ty! And the cover is made by @anne.m.episode on Instagram :grin:

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Hi guys!

Sorry for the delay but @LukeDaCat and myself have been extremely busy but I’ll be trying to get some reviews done over the week! :heart:

Thanks! :leaves:

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Title of your Story: Search for love
Author Name: S.writes
Genre : Drama
Description (Story Summary):
Your life turns upside down when you try to escape from a toxic situation.Can you find the love you’re looking for trying to escape?

Cover (Both Covers Preferred):
Small cover :

Large cover:

Style : Ink
Link To Story: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5548786201264128
Review Type/Reviewer (Written or Video, Luke or Mashia): I don’t have a problem with that…
Extra Notes: English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for my grammar mistakes!!! :warning:

Thank you :hugs:

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Sorry, review requests are closed at the moment! :sweat_smile:

Maybe try to snag a spot when we reopen :wink:

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I will wait I dont have a problem with that…:slight_smile:

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Awesome, thanks! <3

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INCREDIBLY SORRY FOR THE DELAY!

I’ll try to get something done this week, this behaviour is pretty unacceptable :sweat:

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It’s perfectly fine! Take all the time you need.

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Bumping so this won’t be closed XD :heart:

I’ll be doing some reviews this week <33

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SAVE ME, HERO! By Turtle Cat! @Turtle_Cat

:sparkles: FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

When I first saw your cover, I thought it could be a ‘guy saves girl’ kinda story but then your choice of genres said otherwise. Your title was pretty interesting since it was original, succinct and evokes questions such as ‘save from what? who’s the hero here?’
When I opened the app to find your story, it was super accessible since it was the only one with the title. I noticed the cover changed in the time since you put your review request in, so my thoughts of the ‘guy saves girl’ thing kinda disappeared since I didn’t have much of a prompt for that anymore. Your description drew me in since it was both informative yet vague which is a great effect. It says enough to understand what will happen but not too much to spoil things such as why she’s being kidnapped.

Your introduction was adorable! Her father’s reactions easily showed a piece of his personality and how he cared for his family. At this point, I wasn’t too sure if the dialogue of ‘my Hero’ was referencing the title, just a nickname or her actual name but that was fine since it kept me wondering.

:sparkles: DIRECTING:

I honestly loved your directing! Almost everything was flawless <3

Your pans, zooms, and use of text features were all great! The customisation was pretty normal, but I liked the way you made the default character features (I assume they were the default ones) in a gold choice. Though, it kinda got a little confusing with so many gold choices in one choice.

Some things I suggest:

  • Perhaps fade out your volume in the ‘Save Me, Hero!’ chapter introduction splashes for a smoother transition into the plot.

  • Speaking of transitions, I thought that some Episode 1 and 2 had too many ‘fancy’ transitions between scenes. Though it’s okay to have some time to time, the fact that most of them were fancy was a little jarring as they were rather consistent too in timing.

  • Possibly add more choices in the future? This is up to you but I didn’t think there were many choices that really made an impact and were rather there for the sake of having choices.

  • There were some instances where the narration boxes were off-center so I suggest resetting the bubbles.

  • In episode 2, a suggestion is that you could put in paper and poster overlays on the noticeboard when Hero sees the thing about clubs. This is just an extra thing for a more realistic manner. ^^

:sparkles: GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION:

The spelling was on point, and punctuation was almost perfect but there were a few missing commas and full stops. There were also some weird phrases I didn’t understand as well as some grammatical mistakes (pinpointed in errors). As an extra, you may want to go over the difference between ‘too’ and ‘to’ since there were a couple of repetitive mistakes in that. <3

:sparkles: VISUALS AND SOUNDS:

The entire 3 episodes had a consistent flow of music; this is an awesome thing since I’ve seen a lot of authors use music at the beginning and then forget about adding any sound later. The custom splashes were very cute + the story intro splash was amazing!
The hero analysis splash as super smart too and gave a good insight into the powers and strengths.
Finally, the cover art was amazing and had recurring blues and similar hues. It even held some story in itself too.

:sparkles: PLOT:

I think Episode 1’s plot moved a little bit too fast such as that abrupt time skip to the moment she went to sleep.
Some bits were slightly useless in context too. An example would be the bit where Hero explained something about the boxes and that their car was small which wasn’t really necessary as it didn’t come up anywhere later. There were a few minor information dumps too so be careful with that.
The dialogue was more or less fine, but some sections were a bit too formal. Also, when Hero ‘talks’ to herself, maybe put in thought bubbles as well as normal speech bubbles.
I thought that bits like Bailey’s death and Hero’s birth could’ve had a little more emotion in it.
The dialogue when Hero said something like ‘I should go meet the principal for my classes’, I would assume that that the office would have the classes rather than the principal, but it may different in some schools so don’t take my word for it.
The club scenes were hilarious honestly, they all had diverse characters too! XD

I really liked the length of Episode 2 and the plot flow. It had a good introduction to the newer characters and the cliffhanger at the end was super unexpected!
The characters themselves all had their own looks and personalities which was awesome! I did spot a few default characters, though ;)) I honestly thought that Jaxon and Axel were just ordinary students, so when they kidnapped Hero, I was so shocked haha

Episode 3 had a good flow too but again, some bits were information dumps, but it wasn’t too major. I liked how the characters showed a bit more of themselves in this episode too. The character development wasn’t too obvious throughout the entire 3 episodes, though.
Also, a minor thing I noticed: The bit where her dad asks her whether she wants to be dropped off at school was rather a given since there were no scenes to show that Hero even knew where her school was.

:sparkles: ERRORS:

‘Sir, me nothing, let me see my wife!’ ~ I’m not too sure what this means.

‘Every single residence in this town has an abnormal ability…’ ~ Residence should be resident.

‘This was gonna be great!’ ~ Was should be is.

‘I feel a bit nervous but mostly of excited at the same time.’ ~ You may want to fix up the wording here.

‘Let’s get this move over with’ ~ You forgot the full stop over here.

‘You know your rooms up stairs.’ ~ Rooms should be room’s.

‘What’s wrong…’ ~ There should be a question mark at the end.

‘I’ve been suffering for to long…’ ~ To should be too.

‘Get over it. I don’t like it anymore than you do.’ ~ Anymore should have a space so it’s ‘any more’.

The speech bubble placement in Bailey’s death scene was a little off. There were a few missing commas and full stops here and there. I spotted some other small grammatical errors too, but wasn’t able to list them.

I didn’t find any other directing errors, though since it was so amazing so congrats! XD

:sparkles: OVERALL THOUGHTS + TIPS TO IMPROVE:

Overall, I really enjoyed this story and it was so original! The directing was incredible and I didn’t find any errors in it, and the episode lengths were great! I loved the flow of most of the storyline and the character development was super nice! I think the only thing letting me down was the minor grammatical errors.

My tips to improve:

  • Maybe try to get a grammar checker so your story can be flawless in that area.

  • Make sure the dialogue is less formal; this doesn’t mean change the topic of what they’re saying, just the way that they’re saying it. Maybe use contractions?
    eg. cannot to can’t, do not to don’t, will not to won’t, would not to wouldn’t etc.

I loved the story and wish you all the best with the rest of it! :heart:

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Omg, omg, omg. This is probably the best review I’ve ever gotten. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU so much for the helpful tips.
This review was certainly worth the wait.

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I’m super glad you found it helpful :revolving_hearts: :sparkles:

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@AnonymousAuthor1 Heyy I finished your review and I hope it helps! :smile_cat:

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Update on
Pending Requests:

  • Thriller: Tribe of Malapinchi by @JannahJackson - Will be finished in the next 24 hours. (by Mashia :sparkles:)

  • Dreams and Nightmares by @RainbowCat - Will be finished in the next 24 hours. (By Luke :smile_cat:)

  • MICROCIDE by @AS007 - On Waiting list. (By Mashia :sparkles:)

  • XENA PIERCE by @sophiesophilatte_104 - On Waiting list. (By Mashia :sparkles:)

  • Teacher or Queen by @mystique_writer - On Waiting list. (By Mashia :sparkles:)

  • The four horsemen by @S_Unique - On Waiting list. (By Luke :smile_cat:)

  • Flight of Passion by @Jadlyss - On Waiting list. (By Luke :smile_cat:)

  • Aching For The Bad Girl by @Olivia2003 - On Waiting List (By Luke :smile_cat:)

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@Mashia Hello! I just want to say that please wait to review my story. I am currently editing it. You can do reviews of other stories first and mine later! Thank you! :yellow_heart:

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No problem! Just tag us when you’re finished editing! :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Ah, thanks for letting us know. Like Luke said, just tag us when it’s ready <33

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