thanks boo :))
Okay! I’ll put you on the waiting List!
thanks so much
For a better viewing experience I recommend (just as a said above) to put transitions… such as. From Kimmy going to the cliff, you should have it fade out to her on the cliff.
Here’s the Code : @transition fade out black 5 (or whatever colour and seconds you want!)
I totally forg9t about doing transitions thanks!
Falling For Bad
Plot : Two ex-best friends,one with anger problems and one with cyclothymia disorder.
Both are bad for Kate,but one is going to win her heart.
[LL,CC,Point System,Choice Matter,Minigames]
Episodes : 17
Status : On going
Gerne : Romance & Drama &
Style : Limelight
CC : Available
Also : In my story, I use New Backgrounds other from Episode’s Art Catalogue and Overlays .
My story contains, Minigames & Point System and your choices matter and affect your status with the characters!
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6387556438835200
My IG : @nellyy.epi
Story Cover [Made by me] :
Hello! Sorry if you have expected your story review to come soon! Please give me a week! Everyone’s whose the top 3 on my waiting list will have their review by next week! I’ve been busy writing my own story lol so I’m a little worked out and have school soon (again ) anyways! Sorry to disappoint anyone whose expected their review to come earlier
That’s an amazing cover you made
There’s no problem at all! School can be stressing sometimes, believe me, I know, and it’s ok to focus on ourselves once in a while
Thank you so much
Ok, I know I’m not making a Nice thing to say… what I like and what not… so I’m summarizing what I read (which is chapter one)
(I’m a lazy old girl XD)
First, I would like to point out that the beginning scene was very, very detailed. And it was really good…
For the other scenes however… I wasn’t as hooked. I feel like “Len” was a preset character and Noah’s outfit was another preset outfit…
the characters weren’t as interesting…
I feel like scenes were short and lacked interest.
The ending when you asked “if Roy will go on the date” I felt like you could’ve ended the story on a different cliffhanger…
The spelling and grammar was fine from what I’ve read…
During the first scene sometimes the characters would just stop… when this was (I’m assuming) an action packed scene…
If you would like a PM of a more specific review and more episodes, please message me
Hello @Baleigh_episode ! I have read the first episode, which was very long, but I can see you but a lot of effort into it!
-I would recommend spending more time on making the characters
For example, Aella’s hair is unrealistically dark and Mary’s Lips are very bright compared to her skin tone.
-I also think the soldiers shouldn’t be wearing police uniform, if they are soldiers.
-it was interesting… but didn’t keep me hooked… it was sorta basic
-For some scenes, characters were just standing there…
-When you introduced the family, you could’ve had them being snobbish…
-When Jeremy tickled Aella, you could use the animation (tinker_rear) to look like Jeremy tickled her
-During the fighting scene, there might not be a lot of animations for it, but be creative! Standing there is very boring to the readers… when it’s such a detailed story!
-I also recommend making text bubbles sorter and split them up… readers can get bored after reading long paragraphs…
-Another thing is, when Aella came inside her house, you could have her moving while describing what happened… such as if she was worried, use a worried looking animation!
-Use different animations! Don’t keep reusing the same animations over and over again… when they’re different variations of the emotion!
-As a little detail, you could’ve had Aellas necklace “disappear” like she tucked it in, but it’s up to you to change it!
-I feel like I keep repeating this, but please use animations for when it’s a long scene of them doing nothing
I didn’t find any mistakes, but for text bubbles, split up text when you think it’s too long…
-If you want a Character to narrate use the coding piece: NARR(AELLA)
-PUT TRANSITIONS! the first 3 scenes (I believe) didn’t have transitions…
If you have any questions and would like me to read more, please PM me!
I would love a review; than you so much for setting up this thread. I really want to know how to improve my first episode before I get too invested in making the other episodes.
Author Name: SarcasticGenie
Description: When there is a murder at your college, you decide to try to get to the bottom of the mystery gaining an eye witness the police don’t have: the victim.
How many episodes? 3 (Unpublished)
MCS? Main Characters: You, Luis, and Carly
I’ll add you on the waiting list!
Hello! I’m only reading episode one, so I might not FULLY understand the story! Please PM me if you want me to read more! :.)
-I’ve read enough stories that have someone they loved dead… and wants to kill the person who killed the loved one…
-It’s really cliche and I feel like there was an opportunity to make it a little more original
-Bailey was kinda your basic bad girl… but her working for the FBI was different from what I usually read, so I appreciate a different career
-The male MC is also your average hot mafia hit man… which didn’t really interest me
-In the beginning you said it uses advanced coding, which I can see
-Sometimes the coding got messed up, when you were doing the first scene, the filters slowly came in when you were doing flash backs… (this was the only major thing I was concerned about)
-I liked the use of the mini game!
-Some of the overlays were glitchy and weren’t fully transparent for the bg, so I could see some of it
-I personally couldn’t find any spelling mistakes, but always check spell check!
I can’t tell you what you need to change, since it’s your story and this is coming from a one person opinion, but those are just some things! :,)
Hello! If you want me to read more than episode one please PM me!
-When they were in the police station, why would someone ask to tell them what happened to them?
When they just meet?
-The characters had very cliche backstories and this was the part where you could’ve made it more original and have something different, it’s sad to say, but in some stories woman are abused…
-You did try you best, but some of the coding was just off. Things wouldn’t time correctly has it could’ve.
-USE TRANSITIONS! There is nothing more annoying then having scenes just go blank and go to another scene!
@transitions fade out black 5 (you can change the colour and seconds you want it to last)
-You can also use zooms!
-Good use of overlays!
-You spelt “tongue” incorrectly, instead you put “tong”
-You forgot to add ‘ when you said “wont” when it’s “won’t”
Thank you so much for your review!
I’m going to start working on this right now. Thanks again