Mimi's Review Thread!

Calling all writers! Do you want a fresh pair of eyes to look at your story for you and give a honest opinion? You have come to the right place. Simply reply bellow with your story information or a story link. (You can also message me privately if you would like.) All reviews will contain plot and directing components that are lacking or need to be revised within your first episode (s). I love reading writer stories (I am a writer myself) and you may even gain a new reader! As of 11/27 I am opening this thread. I will probably get no more than ten done a week. If I cannot review yours in a timely manner, I recommend checking out the review thread by the one and only @amberose.


I’d love a review :slight_smile:
TITLE: No Strings Attached
AUTHOR: Alyce Winter
GENRE: Drama, romance, mystery … all the good stuff
DESCRIPTION: You decide to get involved with an attractive stranger. What happens when you’re wrapped up in more drama than you can handle? So much for no strings…

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I’ll get right on it. Also, I love the cover.

Thank you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I would love to!

Genre: Adventure/Fantasy/Comedy (If that makes sense)
Title: Save Me, Hero!
Author: Turtle Cat!
Plot/Summary: After powerless Hero moves from a town where everyone has superpowers, she gets kidnapped by a group of fugitives who are forcing her to join them. What will she do?
Style: Ink
This story has 4 episodes


  • The heads of the characters in the zoom are cut off on the iPad. Make sure you have space above the heads when zooming on the computer or phone.

  • When John goes to the car he looks like he is facing backwards and walking. Easy fix just have him turn the other way and then put &JOHN faces right and it will look natural.

  • Maybe try putting extras in the background when she enters the office.
    *The beginning is supper exciting but I like that you get to see the characters’ personalities!
    *When she goes to change into PJs (I still call them that :smile:) she gets taller and then smaller as she goes back to her spot position. Have her walk to a spot off stage where it looks like the same proportions as before.

  • Does the choice of what PJs to wear affect anything?
    *Never mind it kind of does.

  • Maybe try adding more background characters in the lobby.

  • I’m kind of confused by what is going on. Who is she? Is Jon the doorman?

  • I love that the make out scene was a dream because I was over here like: This escalated quickly. I totally see how it was like a dream.

  • He mentioned Lion King but I chose not to watch it.

  • I love the part where she said date and is creating other phrases!

  • Your first episode only had romance in it, which made me not as interested in continuing. Maybe try putting in other components into the story.

I hope this was helpful!

  • I never considered what this will look like on an iPad. I’ll keep that in mind!
  • I’ll just change it to a dustoff_loop instead lol
  • I’ll definitely add some extras in there!
  • PJs doesn’t really matter lol. They all have the same effect
  • She doesn’t watch Lion King actively, she falls asleep to it. When he dropped the box off, it was still playing, but she was asleep.
  • This is my first story, so episode 1 is typical “Here’s a guy. Love the guy,” But I chose to go a different direction with the rest of it, so episodes 2, forward are a little better lol

Thank you for the review! I’ll get to fixing some things up. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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First Impressions: I like the cover; it looks well done. However I’m wondering if Hero is the girl who is supposed the main character, why is she hiding behind some guy?

  • The dad runs very quickly to the room. Slow him down by putting 'in #" after the action.

  • Also, the nurse grows as she walks away. Have her “walk” to a spot off the screen, and she will remain the same size.

  • I love the title screen with all the superheroes!!

  • I like the background characters when you said “But that’s not what really makes this town special” but the two guys are just standing there. Try adding talking animations like: @EXTRA is talk_excited

  • I get it: teleportation and he teleported. LOVE.

  • Why is she moving here?

  • “I feel a bit nervous but mostly of excited at the same time.” Of not needed.

  • When they’re in the car and the power profile comes up- that is kind of abrupt.

  • Is she moving to the superhero town? If so, the whole “Everyone but me” would be better after we learned about the place and that she is living there.

  • I love the profiles by the way. Was the one for the dad? I couldn’t see the head because it didn’t fit on the iPad screen. Make sure to leave room at the top.

  • Hero was so fast going up to the house it doesn’t look like she is running.

  • When they walk into the house you can just transition fade out and have them &HERO exits left BUT don’t forget to have them walk offstage instead of exit. :slight_smile:

  • Why is the dad just standing there thinking? Is he familiar with the house? Is this an old family house? I have to know!

  • The time where he says you have school tomorrow isn’t really needed. He says routine and I’m not sure where that went.

  • To have her stand up already aside the bed have her at &HERO spot 1.280 0 00
    &HERO is stand_up

  • The dad is always in the same spot doing the same thing… thinking. Try changing it up.

  • Don’t forget to put punctuation at the end of every sentence. (I forget all the time in coding.)

  • The ending could be more exciting. Try adding something that makes the reader NEED to read more. This episode is crucial in the success of your story and have enough interesting details in the end will help tremendously!

I hope this helps! :blush: For further clarification, feel free to ask.

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Thanks for making this thread.
Here is my story info.
Story title:
“I will always find you”(Limelight)
Authors name:
Story description:
My life takes a dark turn. When I meet him. My only hope is to get out on time. If that is even possible.
Who can I trust, Who should I fear? Please help me, Someone’s watching.
Amount of chapters:
link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5941749403746304

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Kind of scared to review this one… I’m on it!

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  • The YOU is dripping on her head- not the wall.

  • Did she just cry blood? Already terrified.

  • What is the truth?

  • Great dining room table- I like how you explained how her life was without it just coming out in narration.

  • OMG READ TO FIND OUT? (One, I totally was taking a double take: What does it mean? Haha. )

  • On the iPad the dialog “… will ever know she is my girl!” cannot be seen but that. Or the dialog after it with him.

  • I can’t see either of their heads at the concert with Linda and babe.

  • Oh my gosh! Is that the guy who just hit her and she was babe? Or is it a different guy?

  • Linda walks a little quickly: try @LINDA walks to spot 1.280 0 00 in # (3, 4)

  • Who is Natasha? Who was that being killed? Who was the killer? SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. And I love it. It really drew me in and made me want to know more. Some parts many be able to elaborate more, but overall it was just enough to give it that perfect cliffhanger.

I hope this was helpful? :hushed::grin: Feel free to ask for further clarification.

Babe the mystery man. supposed to be not seeing his head. But Linda yes. I will be editing my story soon. Once I publish 14. This helps so much. I did not notice that the word you was not in the wall thank you for that.

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Here’s mine:
Title: Dreams and Nightmares
Author: Dreamer
Genre: Romance
Style: Ink
Description: Scarlet had a rough past and it looks like it’s not getting better after she was bought by some mysterious guy. Will she ever turn her life from a nightmare to a dream?
Episodes: 16 (more coming soon)
Instagram: dreamer.episode
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5452320906543104

Thank you!

Title: A Spark of Hope

Author: J MO

Style: Limelight

Description: Your exboyfriend from the past moves back and your bestfriend of many years is not okay with. How will you handle the drama?

Cover picture:

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5912047137980416

Additional Note:

You can play from two points of view in certain episodes.

My story: Thriller: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Horror/Fantasy/Adventure
Story style: Secret Surprise :wink:
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you make sense of the havoc you were tossed into and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 5/6
Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5909308359180288

Story title: Teacher or Queen?
Author: Mystique
Genre: drama
Episodes published: 13
Description: After years of searching she had finally found them. Can she get close to them?
Her destiny is about to change forever. What will she choose - who will she become?

Hey, I would love a review.:slight_smile:
Here’s the details to my story in case you want to check it out.

Author: S_Unique

Title: The Four Horsemen

Genre: Fantasy

Style: Ink

Description: 4 Sins. 4 Angels fell. 4 Horsemen rose. A curse was casted. And the battle of good vs evil is about to begin. CC/ Choices matter

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5482099054608384


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I would like a review.
For my first story ever.

I hope you check it out.
Story- College Days:Emotions Overloaded
Author- Shona (@shona_episode)
Style- Ink
genre- Drama

Tittle: Search for love
Author: S.writes
Genre : Drama
Episodes : 18 ( more coming soon)
Style : Ink
Description: Your life turns upside down when you try to escape from a toxic situation.Can you find the love you’re looking for trying to escape?
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5548786201264128
Cover :