Missed Connections Contest ~ Caliope's Mini-Reviews for them all

Hey, Forum Family,
So I’ve never really taken much notice of the contests before because they’re not really my thing. However, at the moment I’m going through a phase of wanting to read Episode stories. So I have decided to read through ALL the entries, as well as share my own mini-reviews of them. This not just a constructive and possibly harsh review for the author(s), but also for anyone wondering which stories to read. Though I’m picky, so don’t just take my word on it.
However, I’ve hidden each review so that if you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to! :wink:

Also, most (if not all) of these stories are romance, which is my least favourite genre, so it’ll be even harder to please me. :pleading_face::pleading_face::pleading_face: Sorry.

So, the list I’ll be using is the one here.

Mini review format

Judging stories on six things with a rating out of five (decimals included) with a small comment for each.

  1. First impression BEFORE reading the story; cover art, title, and summary.
  2. The story, as in content and flow.
  3. The characters; developed, diverse, and different from other stories
  4. The visuals; the look and directing
  5. The language and grammar
  6. Choices; the impact on the story
  • A score out of 30 and a final comment.

I’ll also be adding how many chapters I read, though, with my track record, it’ll probably be just one.

Template

MC: ???, by
About:

Read - Chapter
  • First Impression:

  • The story:

  • Characters:

  • The visuals:

  • Language:

  • Choices:

  • Overall:


The mini-reviews

My Favourites

MC: Blackout, by AmyJune
About: You’re met your perfect match, so it seems. But there’s one problem, you don’t know their name or what they look like. The only thing you know, is their voice.

Read 4 Chapter
  • First Impression: 5
    Oooh… I can instantly tell it’s a romance, BUT it doesn’t make me run. From the title to the “only knowing their voice” part, I’m really interested to read it.
  • The story: 5
    Checks all boxes, I have no complaints!
  • Characters: 5
    The opening scene (after CC), instantly tells me the type of character the MC is. The others had solid personalities and
  • The visuals: 5
    Beautiful and simple flashes that really give you a feel for the story. That really set up the story well and everything was flawless.
  • Language: 4.79
    Pretty perfect. Just a missing comma here or there, the odd incorrect tense or word, and period where a question mark should have been.
  • Choices: 5
    Good choices and enough to keep me satisfied!
  • Overall: 29.79
    Please, can someone tell me, HOW DID THIS NOT WIN?! Amazing, loved every minute of it! I binged all four episodes!

MC: Agent Cinderella, by @Mavis & @EliseC
About: On a mission to retrieve an object, a mysterious stranger sweeps you off your feet. Will hunting down your target still be easy when you also try to locate the intriguing guest?

Read 3 Chapter
  • First Impression: 4.4
    The cover art really intrigues me, anyone running away from romance is all good with me. :wink: Although the summary and title were great, they still would have interested me if I weren’t doing this.
  • The story: 5
    Great story! I love the mystery angle of it and the fact that it left me wanting more after every chapter!
  • Characters: 5
    The characters were very developed, but also, didn’t reveal too much right away and left the audience guessing.
  • The visuals: 5
    Absolutely Flawless!
  • Language: 4.96
    A couple of minor things, but they’re easy ones to let slide since hardly anyone would notice them.
  • Choices: 4.95
    Choices DEFINITELY had an effect on the story. I just felt that very thorough, multiple CCs were a little too much for me.
  • Overall: 29.32
    Love this sooo much! One of my new favourites and I can’t wait for more! :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

MC: Breathing Crimson, by Evil Ebonni
About: Oliver is a skeptic of all things that involve love and romance. That is of course, until a red-haired stranger sparks his curiosity, and pushes through the boundaries he built…

Read 4 Chapter
  • First Impression: 4.5
    Love the covers and title, very intriguing, especially being about a homosexual relationship. The summary is a little cliché, but I still can’t wait to read it.
  • The story: 5
    Love, love, love the intro. It is so original and creative.
  • Characters: 5
    Amazingly developed characters!
  • The visuals: 4.99
    WOW! The directing in this story is out of this world! :astonished::astonished::astonished: … Although, just to nitpick, in the bathroom in Episode two, why is the reflection facing us when his back is to the mirror?
  • Language: 4.77
    Almost perfect. … Although, I’m not a fan of text-speak in stories. Yes, I know people do say coz, but it is written 'cause when written outside of SMS. Another one is af and FFS, people don’t say it, they say as fuck. There was also a couple of missing words in sentences, as well as some commas.
  • Choices: 5
    I remember there were a number of choices but I can’t really comment on them because the story was so good and don’t remember exactly!
  • Overall: 29.26
    … … … I have no words. … Just… WOW! LOVED THIS STORY! NEED MORE!

MC: A Twist of Fate, by @xo.alina
About: After a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger, Grace sets out to find the person who stole her heart.

Read all 3 Chapters - Completed
  • First Impression: 4
    The cover looks nice, the title seems to match the summary, and the summary is rather simple, not giving too much away. However, if I hadn’t decided to read all the contest stories, then I wouldn’t have read it because it doesn’t appeal to me.
  • The story: 4.9
    I haven’t got this into an Episode story in a long time. It had a perfect pace and the chapter length was great. The only part that didn’t seem realistic was the ending, it felt a little sudden after it only being a year.
  • Characters: 5
    Good characters and conversations, which are realistic and the MC was well-developed.
  • The visuals: 4.95
    Everything flowed beautifully. Though, one question, why’d the dance floor have no music?
  • Language: 4.78
    Punctuation was missing a couple of times and a few minor errors, but I’m being pedantic.
  • Choices: 4.8
    Yeah, great choices and many that had an impact, but I can’t remember how much impact they had because I was too involved in the story. HAHA. One small thing, in the MASSIVE dressing up games, we don’t see her feet (i.e: shoe choices).
  • Overall: 28.43
    A fantastic piece of writing. I’m totally hooked and NEED more! I know it’s completed but I still want more! :sob::sob::sob:

My Recommendations

MC: A cupcake, please, by @NanaM
About: What if love begins with a cupcake and ends with it at the same time? Can you still find the love of your life?

Read 2 Chapters
  • First Impression: 3
    Rather simple and seemed to explain the story, but didn’t captivate me.
  • The story: 4.5
    Good story and a great pace. The bakery seemed very realistic to me, as I was a barista as a teen and customers are a :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: sometimes. Though I never cried, I still know the feeling. Also, the clumsiness of the meet-cute… ADORABLE!
  • Characters: 5
    Most love CCs, but I loved the sexuality choice, as well as the small customisation for their younger selves. Great background characters. Also, I laughed at the name ‘Dyson’, which is a vacuum cleaner for me.
  • The visuals: 4.75
    Beautiful and almost seamless. Just the quote after CCs is a little harder to read, being pink on pink.
  • Language: 3.8
    An ellipsis has three dots not two, and ‘type’ rather than ‘tip’ in the eye colour question. Plus, some word choices don’t quite fit and a few sentences that could be reworded for flow purposes. Grammar got worse in the second episode.
  • Choices: 3.9
    Don’t understand the eye colour question, but other than that the choices were great; very realistic. Unfortunately, I think the branching got mixed in the second episode, as I picked a female love interest and male pronouns were used.
  • Overall: 24.95
    Great! If the other chapters matched the standard (grammatically) as the first, I would keep reading. Although, I’m not a fan of more than one character talking in the first person when the reader is supposed to be playing as a certain character.

MC: Between Worlds, by @BadBoyBillionaireBBB
About: You’ve been playing the popular, pretty, good-doer while hiding your obsession with the afterlife. He’s not quite from the living realm. Will you catch him? Or fall.

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 2.5
    So the art is… interesting. As for the summary, I can’t make head or tail of it. It feels like sentences mashed together but it doesn’t make sense.
  • The story: 3
    It was good until she met him, then things moved way too quickly.
  • Characters: 2.3
    It’s a good starting point for the characters, except that they still need a little more detail. Also, I got really confused about who everyone was from the pregnant woman to the movie theatre. … Astrid’s religion? What religion? You can’t just mention have a religion and not say what it is.
  • The visuals: 3
    I loved how the character was us when we were rejecting Sarah and I thought that’d be how the story played out throughout the whole thing. So I was a little disappointed in the next scene when we saw out character probably. I wish all the scenes had the reader be the character and everyone interact with them. Love the montage scenes. Though, the sitting on each other close-ups don’t work when one is standing and none of the characters align with the seats.
  • Language: 4.9
    My pet peeve = authors using ‘AF’ in their stories. Second pet peeve = when authors “–” after a word, thinking it means a pause. It doesn’t. Using one means the sentence was suddenly stopped midday, but two means nothing.
  • Choices: 3
    There were a few, but I don’t think they had a big impact on the story.
  • Overall: 24
    It was good, but it just lacked substance and detail.

MC: A Great Love Story, by @camilowrites
About: A woman with a perfect life is unhappy, she has it all, perfect family, perfect best friend. But she’s missing something out, a great love story, perhaps?

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 2.5
    Umm… it sounds a little too similar to any other story you’d find on the app.
  • _The story: 3.8 _
    It had a story, which a good start. Nah, it wasn’t bad and appealed to me because it was realistic. The chapter length was okay.
  • Characters: 4.25
    The characters and relationships were good, though the MC seemed a little too self-obsessed.
  • The visuals: 4
    The tappable overlays are cool. Though some of the speech bubbles were far too small, making the font pretty tiny. Other than that, pretty good.
  • Language: 3.96
    Some sentences could be restructured and rephrased to flow better, as well as some weird word choices. There were a few errors.
  • Choices: 4
    Not too sure about the full CC since it just explains that the MC is an African-American woman (not even getting started on “afro”-American). I liked the opening menu though.
  • Overall: 22.52
    Though it was good, it still didn’t captivate me to read more. I was more interested in the book the MC was reading. HAHA.

MC: Accidentally expected, by @Jane.s1 & Cath
About: Everything started with a dream… Then a kiss… Accidents may happen! But can you expect the unexpected?

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 1
    The cover looks like 70% of the other covers on the app, and the title and summary seem like they’re just filling the brief of the contest.
  • The story: 3.8
    Good, short scenes that get to the point, I like them. Though it was a little predictable.
  • Characters: 3.5
    The characters are reasonably-well developed, but there was a lack of information on all the friends and who they were.
  • The visuals: 4.05
    Love the backgrounds and overlay, they were made very well and looked very real. Though sometimes the heights seemed to be a little off, and so were some of the speech bubbles. Also, in the stranger’s dream-thing, it was the original MC, not my CC character.
  • Language: 4.74
    Watch out for negative word forms when it should be positive and word forms in general, as well as capital letter mid-sentence, and an ellipsis has three dots, not two. Watch out for comma use too.
  • Choices: 4
    There were a couple of timed choices which were interesting, but you are unable to see the outfit properly in the dressing game.
  • Overall: 21.09
    I didn’t really get hooked into the story to get attached.

MC: Blind Sighted, by @tguthri1
About: Rosie has always been blind when it comes to her best friend, Roxas. However, will a mysterious stranger that sparks her interest, cast a light on her misguided friendship? CC

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 3.4
    I like the title and the summary manages to interest me, but it is the covers that let the story down a little. They seem a little boring and don’t tell me anything about the story.
  • The story: 4
    All the information after the CC is a little much, I would have rather seen the date first and then got information. Also, only an hour before. So we managed to be at home, talk, go to date location, being on the date, and then be in the park; all within an hour? The timeframe seems a little short. I found that some information got repeated too.
  • Characters: 3.7
    The one problem I have is when authours say “character yourself” but the character of “you” is already named. This just means that we are not actually creating us, but a pre-made character. I would just rather be told that we are creating/playing as that character instead. … Other than that, the characters are pretty good. Although, it was almost as if she flipped a switched from annoyed to happy with Sora.
  • The visuals: 2.5
    I found nothing wrong, no glitches or errors. I just would have like to see different angles in the scenes. Such as zooms, interaction, characters, etc…
    When she runs away, she slides off screen.
  • Language: 4.88
    Missing an apostrophe (Let’s), and a couple of ‘to’ should have been ‘too’. Some sentences need some restructuring. Other than that, practically perfect.
  • Choices: 1.5
    A CC is not a choice, so some more choices are needed.
  • Overall: 19.98
    Not too bad. I could be convinced to continue if the directing was slightly more advanced and if there were more choices.

MC: Anticipating Love, by @courtneybre_episode
About: His hand on the small of her back, her body close to his. A kiss full of heat, & promise. Can a fairytale love affair be the real deal or will it all be just a masquerade?

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 0
    Umm… :astonished::astonished::astonished: Now this is soft port, right? From the covers to the summary. I mean, I know 13-year-olds are exposed to worse, BUT that doesn’t mean we should add more and make it even easier for them to lose their innocence.
  • The story: 2.5
    Strange opening with a semi-author’s note. There are other creative ways to announce CCs and who the MCs are. Oh God, it took me about minutes just to read the story.
    The story was okay; a few too many descriptive “paragraphs”, but it flowed well.
  • Characters: 4.8
    Fairly well-developed.
  • The visuals: 3.5
    Boomerang zooms, I hate them. Just use zoom in zero. The overlays were great, I just really didn’t like the zooming.
  • Language: 4.77
    When authors write “AF” in their stories, I find it tacky. You’re writing a story, not a text message to your friend. Don’t put ‘the’ before the name of a country. Watch the use of some commas, no need for one after an ellipsis. Also, some misplaced words.
  • Choices: 3
    Three CCs are not choices, but again, what’s the point of doing them if the author is just going to change it back for one of the scenes?! The dressing up game, however, looked fresh and new. The other choices were good.
  • Overall: 18.57
    It wasn’t bad and people who like romance will like it, though it wasn’t for me. I’m not a fan of predictability and when I can guess where all the plot points lead to, I get bored.

I think they need tweaking first

MC: Ancestors, by @sleepycatzzz
About: An ordinary village girl seeks to uphold justice. She came across a mysterious guy and journeys into Town to find him. Will she be able to uncover the secrets about her

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 1
    This is not my thing at all. The cover is of three people standing behind a nondescript building and the summary sounds like two different stories.
  • The story: 2
    Right off the block, I want to know where are you going to China from? The intro into the story starts off too quickly. The students, nor the other two, aren’t even discussed before we’re taken into the past. Also, I suggest sticking to one or two flashbacks, more than that can get confusing, especially when they’re inside each other.
  • Characters: 4
    Love the subtly of the prostitute in that era. Insinuating she is one without saying/doing anything vulgar. That is until the MC mentioned she was one.
  • The visuals: 5
    Not bad. Rather smooth. The title on the wall was a nice touch.
  • Language: 4.79
    Sentences need to be restructured, and insert commas, as well as punctuation at the end of sentences. The Chinese words were a nice touch though.
  • Choices: 0
    Choices? Where?
  • Overall: 16.79
    The problem is that there is no plot, not really anyway. There could be potential, but nothing grabs my attention to tell me what the story will be about.

MC: All These Notes, by @Tessx
About: You are wild, fierce, and wonderfully chaotic. You beautiful in a way a fire is beautiful. Only a fool wouldn’t love you.

Read 1/2 a Chapter
  • First Impression: 1
    The first cover is alright but the second is very basic. The title gives me nothing, like, NOTHING! Then the summary is just a sappy female bio, which doesn’t make me want to read it.
  • The story: 1.5
    It’s a little boring and unrealistic. He admits liking a girl who just scared him too quickly. The pace is just a bit too fast.
  • Characters: 2.5
    What kind of a name is Weston? Also, I think four guys MC-ing is too many. You also may want to work on their mannerisms and phrases more, as they seem very feminine.
  • The visuals: 4
    Zooms tend to boomerang, use zoom in zero. Though I LOVED the wig overlay in the flashback.
  • Language: 4
    Sentences needing restructuring, add commas, and wrongly used synonyms.
  • Choices: 2
    Choices? Only one and two searching games, but had to stop on the second one 'cause I couldn’t find the clue. You need some kind of way to move on if people can’t find it.
  • Overall: 14
    As for where it placed in the competition, the requirement was Missed Connection. The “missed” part happen WAY too quickly. … As for the rest, I got to the fountain, got stuck not being able to find it and could move on.

Beautiful stranger, by @Chida
About: There’s a fine line between love and obsession. Did you take it too far?

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 1
    The covers are rather plain and boring, while the summary gives NOTHING of the story.
  • The story: 1
    The “story” was too basic and FAR TOO short! I mean, I like short chapters, but two minutes is a waste if you expect readers to use their tickets. One thing I will say, you followed the contest brief.
  • Characters: .2
    Nothing said here. I don’t know the character’s… anything. The two second characters (who were pointless, by the way) had more personality than the mains.
  • The visuals: 2
    The splash confuses me about not giving permission, like seriously, WHAT?! In the MC’s first scene; heights, why are the so much taller than the counter. Those food chillers are usually chest to chin-height for females. Though all your heights are off in every scene.
  • Language: 4.84
    Sidechick = side chick or side-chick. Add commas. Wrong tenses used. The dialogue was also FAR too basic that I can’t even say boring because there wasn’t anything there.
  • Choices: .5
    The CC was creatively made with the MC sitting and faded until you clicked on her features that you wanted. A CC is NOT a choice.
  • Overall: 9.54
    NEEDS MAJOR REWORKING!

MC: A dead wish, by @Trying_To_Help
About: Janoce is a girl from Houston, Texas. Her life is a dream from when she was 8-years-old, she was poor from birth but when she grew up she got rich. But, when she meets a guy she never met, her mind goes into a frenzy, she tries to meet him, but he leaves too soon…

Read 1 Chapter
  • First Impression: 0
    Honestly, I can’t judge this at all. There are no covers and I can’t make sense of the summary.
  • The story: 1
    Takes the baby, runs after him, 8 years later he leaves you both, WHAT?! I can’t figure out the plot, was there one? I mean, I guess it followed the contest brief. It was also far too short.
  • Characters: 0.8
    No attachment to characters because there’s no detail. Also, what’s with the names that aren’t actually real names?
  • The visuals: 2
    The speech bubbles are terribly aligned and go everywhere.
  • Language: 4.5
    Grammar wasn’t bad actually, except the “names”.
  • Choices: 1
    I think there were two?
  • Overall: 9.3
    Frankly, I’m not a fan of classic, but this story still needs a bit of work.

More to come, but will take me a wee while. :sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses:




I hope you give some of these stories a chance too! If you do then feel free to post them below!

Cheers,
Caliope :wink:

14 Likes

I just wanted to pop in here and let you know that the MC contest rules is that the stories HAVE to be in the romance genre…

3 Likes

Yeah, I thought I remembered that but it was a while ago that I read it. I was more just mentioning that I wasn’t a fan of romance. But also because there is a possibility of some people changing the genre now that it’s over.

4 Likes

Let the story hunger games begin! Also, nice system you’ve got, will check some of these out <3.

2 Likes

HAHA! Thank you, and awesome 'cause people deserve the credit for planning, writing, and finish a story in less than two months! :wink:

2 Likes

they’re hella’ crazy

while they finish a story i finish creating my characters lmao

lookin’ forward to your reviews btw, especially breathing crimson… my third time reading it now cuz i got no chill ayeee

2 Likes

HAHAHAHA! I know what you mean! :wink:

Wicked, thanks. I can’t wait to read it then! :wink:

1 Like

Thank you so much for reading ours and for your honest feedback/review! It is very much appreciated. :slight_smile:

3 Likes

You’re very welcome! :wink: I can’t wait for more! Though, no pressure. Take your time and enjoy every minute of writing it! :grin::grin::grin:

2 Likes

I’m so glad you liked our story :smiley:
Thanks for the mini review!

1 Like

HEHE! You’re welcome! :wink:
Will be sharing my characters with you on Insta when I get round to it too (hopefully tonight). Though they didn’t randomise as crazily as the characters from the previous story I shared! :laughing::laughing::laughing:

1 Like

Thank you for the feedback, I will think about it :slightly_smiling_face: and the clue was sticked to the statue and if you clicked on it and couldn’t see it, you ain’t the only one, few people had problems with it and I sent a ticket, they told me it’s known issue that overlays don’t appear :woman_facepalming:t3: and for the boys, they arent all MCs, only Ben is

1 Like

Thanks for the honest review, very much appreciated! :slight_smile: I’ll keep the shoe visuals in mind :wink: There should have been music for the dance floor sequence though, so I’ll have to go back and look at that :thinking:

Thanks for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed it! :blush::blue_heart:

2 Likes

You’re welcome.
Oh, well, I hope they get back to you soon with a solution to that error then. As for Ben as the ONLY MC, if this is the case then why can we hear everyone’s thoughts? If we are only hearing person’s side of the story then we should only be able to hear their thoughts, not secondary characters.

You’re very welcome and thank you for a very awesome story. Oh, well, if you check out the story and see that there was music, then perhaps it was just a glitch. :wink: Can’t wait to read more of stories, you’re definitely an author to watch!

2 Likes

Thank u for the read and honest review :heart_eyes::two_hearts:i really appreciate it :hugs::two_hearts:i’ll try to work on the remarks u made :two_hearts:

1 Like

Excuse me?! :face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow::face_with_raised_eyebrow: That’s rather rude.
As I said in the first paragraph, I’m was going to be constructive and possibly harsh. That’s why I hid the reviews and it was up to you whether you read them or not.

1 Like

Excuse me?! How exactly have I been rude, when I was simply stating how your message was implied and informing you of what I mentioned previously?!

2 Likes

And you are more than welcome to have that opinion. However you want to interpret it, I am still giving constructive criticism, as was stated above. I hide each review because is the viewers choice whether they want to view it all not. I never said I was going to sugarcoat anything, just share my own opinion for anyone who may be interested. Although I was never saying in any review not to read the story, merely how to improve it, if the author would so choose to.
As for your so-called advice, if you really wished to give it, you could have done it in a PM, rather than spamming my thread.

3 Likes

And it’s very petty af of her to have the audacity to talk and post about it in her Instagram story without your consent or permission and “reviewed” your story and it wasn’t even a real review, she just bashed and shamed it in the process just because you reviewed hers. :roll_eyes: Yours was constructive unlike hers and yet she said you are the one “bashing.” It was just childish and rude.

4 Likes

I’m sorry, but what is going on? I think I’m a little out of the loop since I rarely go on Instagram and/or social media. Would you please be so kind as to let me know what is going on? :confused::confused::confused:

3 Likes