My experience with the IG episode community

Edit: a lot of people keep misunderstanding me or assuming that i am pushing conversations with people or trying to force friendships and that i feel that people are obligated to be friends with me if I’m nice to them :clown_face:. Let me make it clear that it’s not the case. I’m always the one to go with the flow of the conversation and make sure the other person isn’t uncomfortable.

So this might as well be only applicable to me, because in my experience the forum community has always been extremely helpful, sweet and open to be friends but on instagram I haven’t had many similar experiences.

It’s not like anyone was rude to me or ignored my messages, they were really alright, most the ones I’ve talked with.

I mostly reach out to DM episode artists and popular authors whose work I really admire, to tell them how much I support them. The popular authors often just like the DM and don’t reply and sometimes they’ll say thanks and then if I try to engage in further conversation (all normal and with the flow, nothing annoying like “when will u update” , “do u wanna be friends” etc) and I’ll very quickly sense that they’re not that interested. And trust me, I completely understand. But in my opinion there’s kinda a power imbalance of sorts where they’re much more popular than me and I’m like… just a fan? Idk how to explain it.
However if you leave me on read when I’m only being nice and supporting you, that kinda hurts my feelings, cuz I’m not just saying all that sweet stuff to gain something from you.

This is not the case with artists, as every single one I’ve reached out to has been really friendly and kind, but still there’s that kind of vibe I get that I’m just a fan?

And here’s why I think so. Feel free to disagree with me. Follower count in a thing on instagram. I currently have 13 followers on IG (@shara.episode) and most of the people I’ve talked to have like 500+.

I’m not saying a higher follower count makes some people think they’re a celebrity who don’t want to befriend smaller accounts. But I’m saying it can create a complex that the other person with say, 2 followers is only interacting with you as they want something from you (free art, story shoutout, etc) which in many cases like mine, isn’t always true.

I really want to make friends within the community. But I haven’t found anyone on instagram where I’m most active.

I hope that this post didn’t come across as me trying to force friendships on people or bashing the instagram episode community as I’m jealous that they have more followers than me. Because that’s not the case at all. I’m simply sharing an experience and I hope that I’ll make friends there someday. :pleading_face:
And my main point is that in my opinion the forum community is friendlier and more inclusive. But know that I can only speak for myself.



I’d love to be friends with you! :white_heart: (my instagram is in my bio)

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heyyy!! i completely agree with most of what you said! i have just over 600 followers on insta and i’m a new author and i’d love to be friends, i have a lot of friends in the community and i only started my instagram in february but feel free to chat with me! i also have a gc that if anyone wants to be added they can!



It kind of sounds like you’re trying to force friendship with people. And that’s really not how it works.

The friends I have made through the Episode community on Instagram come naturally. It was by chance that I liked their stories, and posted about how much I liked them and they appreciated my comments, and then we started talking about the story which lead to conversations about other things.

I’ve been in the Instagram community for 3.5 years now and I was honestly not trying to make friends it just happened. The very first friend I made, I had not even 100 followers and she had about 1.5-2k followers and we are close friends now. We talk everyday and have even met irl.

My advice would be not to try to make friends or force it. It will happen by chance. Just like you won’t like everyone you try to date, you won’t be instantly be friends with everyone you talk to.

If you really are intent on making new friends, J recommend trying to join a community group. There are many on Instagram and new ones starting every month or so. You’ll make friends and you’ll be helping the community as well.


I agree, yet also disagree. Here is why: as for the fan–>friend thing, its hard for artists/writers to become friends with everyone. It is mostly just be friendly and move on. They are grateful, but can’t engage a friendship with everyone that compliments them on their work.
I have a few IG friends, through the forums when people said they’re making an IG group chat.
If you really want to make friends I recommend joining groupchats when you see they’re getting made or maybe test your luck and reply to an IG story and see if there comes a conversation out of it. Like the person above me said, you can’t force friendships.


I disagree tbh. It really depends how you are doing it. I have plenty friends over IG but I didn’t just go into their DM’s wanting friends. The best ways to make friends over IG is by being active on there, replying to people’s stories (I have done this many times and it really works especially when you reply with something funny) and getting into groupchats based on your likes. I have been in many groupchats over IG and they are great to make friends from.

On the other hand it is definitely going to be harder to make friends with authors (especially popular ones) and artists than anyone else because they might think you just want something from them. And they probably have been on IG for awhile and have a group of friends and aren’t looking for more. :woman_shrugging:


I may be the only one but I prefer to interact with my followers via comment instead of DM (unless it’s something private). I’ve always been that way (my episode account has around 200 but my private IG has close to 5,000). I don’t feel superior at all, I just have social anxiety that makes my replies to DMs sporadic at best. lol :rofl:

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Hello Shara :white_heart: I’m not a big author but here’s my opinion.

When someone becomes big author, they normally only trust people who are their friends when they are still a small author. Because once they are big authors, almost everyone will try to be their friend so they can get something out of those big authors. Exp: Big authors, more ig followers, more influence in the community. They cannot differentiate who really wants to be their friend and who are just trying to make use of them. I may be wrong but this is just my opinion.

I’m sure they are thankful that you read their stories :slightly_smiling_face:


I respectfully disagree. Honestly, becoming friends with anyone is not that easy, if you’re going to simply dm someone randomly asking them to be friends, it won’t work (its kinda weird too). I have made some amazing friends on Instagram and I didn’t make them by just forcing my friendship onto them. Nor did I make friends by continuously complementing them. It took me quite some time and it just happened to me when I least expected it. And of course it is hard to be friends with big authors or artists (especially artists) because they probably think that you want something from them. If you really want to make friends try communicating with more people or join groups (as other people are suggesting) :woman_shrugging:

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i just dmed you :pleading_face:thanks me too! :heart:

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In my opinion, I think @PoojaI explained it perfectly.

The big take away is that you can’t force friendships.

I tagged maybe 20 authors/stories in my story/highlights on IG one time, and about 50% didn’t respond (or see it), maybe 30% actually replied, and 20% only liked it.

I’m very sensitive and get upset fairly easily, and it seems that you may be like that as well? (No offense! Lol) I’m also very awkward and shy which makes it hard for me to actually make friends, so being ignored when I put myself out there doesn’t help much because I feel like I’m being annoying…But instead of getting upset at the author, I try and think of maybe why they aren’t replying or engaging in conversation.

For one thing, they aren’t obligated to answer me. And I’m not entitled to a response.
As some people have mentioned, they may not be looking for friends, they may not trust others or are afraid you just “want” something from them, and those are all very valid reasons.
They could also just be very busy. You don’t know what’s going on in their life, things they might be going through, etc which hinders them from replying.
OR if you’re not following each other, your message might go to their message requests. Sometimes I never get a notification when I have a message request, or I forget to check them. And then again, depending on what the person has to say (such as simply hi), I won’t reply, and I’m not even a big author or artist, I just don’t have time for that.
And the last thing that may be a reason, is the fact that they might just get so many DM’s that it’s hard to keep up after them all and some get lost.

I recommend joining groups like others have mentioned, or simply being active on the forums/IG by commenting on posts and replying to stories. Just be a friendly person to be friendly, and eventually friendships will begin to grow :slightly_smiling_face:


Thats so sweet! :heart: I’m following you there now!

You’re completely right tbh. It’s not their fault at all. I was just stating what I thought haha

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I totally agree! Although I’m not that kind of person who gets upset easily especially if strangers on the internet don’t give me attention haha. But I just feel that they could be nicer if they tried as I feel a bit sad if they seem unintrested when I’m asking them a friendly question like “when did u start writing first, what are ur fav stories” and be a bit more engaging? Not talking about big authors just people on there in general. I don’t mind them not looking for a friendship or anything as I just wanna interact and have an honest conversation with them (not trying to force anything).

Maybe it depends on the person as well? The artist caroline (ck_artdesign) was seriously the sweetest person I’ve ever talked with and there was never that feeling that I’m just a fan etc and the conversation just naturally came. I love talking with people within the community as we can learn so many new things and perspectives from them haha. I’m really not trying to force friendships on anyone. I’m sorry if i gave that impression.


Omg that’s completely valid!! I love commenting on people’s posts too haha it’s definitely great for introverts. I think I’ll do that more now instead of dming.

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I’m sorry but I feel like you misunderstood me… I’m not trying to force friendships on anyone nor that I ever asked “hey wanna be friends” as I agree that’s really weird. I’m just saying that in my experience i haven’t had many conversations with people on instagram where they’ve been kind to me. And I don’t DM people hoping to be friends. I Just want to show my support for their work and know more about them as you can always learn about so many diff perspectives within the episode community. I understand many people might be busy and not interested and that’s completely fine. But that’s where my point comes in which is that the forum community is friendlier and more inclusive (in my opinion) which was what the original post was about.

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I would love being in a groupchat tho I haven’t seen anyone opening to adding me in. And I want to make it clear that I’m not dming them to become friends lol i am just dming them to show my support and have a normal nice conversation with them.

I’m really really NOT trying to force friendships nor am I asking people to be my friends as that’s really weird. I’m sorry if I gave off that impression. See this reply!

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Ahh haha I didn’t mean any offense by it. :laughing:
But yes I understand that! I just simply don’t DM people unless I’ve already established some type of communication/friendship with them. But that’s also to help with me not getting my feelings hurt lol

Caroline replied to you?? I asked her a genuine art related question quite a few months ago and never got a response so I unsent it :sweat_smile::joy: But I have heard that she’s a very sweet person to talk to​:slightly_smiling_face:
It could depend on the person, as well, like you said. Because not everyone is friendly, or cares about portraying themselves that way.:woman_shrugging:t3:

But I hope you’re able to find a group to join to create more relationships! :revolving_hearts:


My experience on the forums was the opposite of yours. I’ve mostly found it here very hostile (for lack of better word). There were some people here who are now inactive (or got banned) who weren’t very nice or welcoming. It’s quieter than before but I’ve never made a friend here, I prefer Instagram. It’s easier to communicate there anyway with the interface and all.

But making friends in general is not easy and like many other people have said, no one is obligated to continue conversations with you. Most popular authors are have been around for a while and are rather wary of people who are new as they usually only talk to them because they want something or have an agenda. So they tend to just talk to people who they are already friends.

These are some questions popular authors have answered many times before, when they do questions stickers/polls on Instagram to engage with their readers, so of course they don’t want to keep answering the same questions again.

It takes time to make friends. I do suggest trying to join a community group on Instagram because that’s where I made friends. Also try to talk to people who aren’t authors as well. There’s many reader accounts that post SS and shoutout stories on Instagram. They’re all looking for people to talk to their favorite stories about.