Yeah but she and I talked like 2-3 years ago lol. I responded to her question sticker on her story telling her to see my dm if she has time and then she replied. She must have a lot of people dming her lol. But yeah she was genuinely the kindest person i had ever talked with (she’s so talented aah like fr ). I think she doesn’t reply to dms anymore, idk.
But yeah ur totally right! I hope i can find a group too haha I’m usually an extrovert and love meeting new people. I understand if they don’t feel the same tho.
I totally understand! I’ll do what you suggest. Know that I’m fully aware that I’m not entitled a response, nor are they obligated to have a conversation with me. And in the part you quoted i was talking in general about many people I’ve encountered on IG. I’m sorry about your experience here btw :(( I’m glad you found better friends on IG
not everyone is going to want to be your friend and that’s okay. it sounds like you’re just messaging people, trying to start a conversation and just expecting them to roll with it and become your friend. no one owes you friendship and no one is obligated to give you attention. some people just don’t like interacting with others. it’s not a big deal and it’s not your fault so you shouldn’t feel bad about it.
I won’t worry about it. And fyi, no I’m not looking for friends and yes i know they’re not obligated to reply to me. I don’t care if they don’t reply lol i just said if they do reply they’re never friendly which is why it’s not easy in my personal experience to make friends there like in the forums. And there’s really no need to be so blunt and presumptuous. I’m not just messaging people to gain friends do you realise how ridiculous that is :(( I’m messaging them to show support and appreciation and to engage in a normal conversation with them. Thats it.
the title of this topic is literally “the episode community on instagram isn’t great for making friends”.
here it sounds like you’re trying to push a conversation. you don’t need to engage in an entire conversation to tell an author that you support and admire them. a simple message is enough to uplift their spirits.
here it also sounds like you’re yearning for a conversation. they don’t need to reply to your message to show you that they appreciate your support. liking a positive message is a completely valid way of communicating.
these statements contradict each other. and if you’re upset that they didn’t respond to your message, you don’t genuinely want to support them. you’re just in it for getting a response. be happy that they at least saw your message and hope that it made them feel good. support is about making someone feel better, not just getting them to reply to your message. you claim to not be supporting them to gain something, but the fact that you’re getting upset that they’re not replying says otherwise.
As an introvert and author, I feel very uncomfortable when a stranger wants to have a conversation with me. No matter if you’re my reader or not. You’re still a stranger to me, and I don’t know if I can trust you enough. When someone compliments me and my stories, of course, I appreciate it and I show my appreciation, but I’m not interested in a conversation as it makes me uncomfortable (except they’re asking me story-related questions and I’m willing to respond to them).
I understand that you’re eager having conversations with different people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you show all your support, but you also have to understand that not everyone is talkative.
As some users mentioned above, try community groups.
??? I don’t care if they don’t reply (when they haven’t read the msg) but if they LEAVE ME ON READ then I’m allowed to be hurt?? That too not much as i totally understand. And also what “sounds” like to you doesn’t mean I intend it to sound that way. You’re literally painting me as someone who’s only supporting someone to get something back from it and you don’t even know me? Like your whole reply is so condescending.
And just to make it clear, I’m always going with the flow and never push a conversation. I only talk about what’s relevant and if they’re nice too I’ll ask them something more. I’m always dming people to support them hoping they’ll feel happy when they read my msg. But if they leave it on read or are really unbothered, I’m can’t feel hurt because it’s not upto the standard of “supporting someone”. Again it’s not like I’m drowning in misery. It’s really not that deep.
However in retrospect I do think you’re right that even if they leave me on read it might be that they’re just busy (if they’re a big author/artist) but the same can’t be applied to smaller artists or authors who don’t have that many followers and are just… Idk unfriendly??
But i must say that i found your reply to be very rude and presumptuous.
I definitely understand but to be honest I’m never really pushing a conversation and going with the flow making sure that the other person isn’t uncomfortable as im aware of all the things you mentioned. But you’re right it’s better to just compliment and go lol
Moved to Episode Fan Community since Community is for discussion of specific stories. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions.
you misunderstood my reply. it wasn’t my intention to deprecate or invalidate your emotions. i was just saying that you shouldn’t feel as if it’s because of your follower count or who you are that whoever you’re messaging doesn’t respond. some people are just uncomfortable talking to strangers. you shouldn’t assume that they’re trying to be passive aggressive or trying to imply that they don’t want to talk to you because you have less followers. i’ve talked to many popular authors and they were all polite and civil. i’ve never had the impression that they were trying to belittle me because i had less followers.
your experiences may have been different and i’m sorry if they have, but even so, you shouldn’t assume that every popular author who doesn’t want to talk to you is being pompous about their follower count. and i apologize if my previous replies came off as rude to you.
Ok, so my friend @rina.writes who has responded to this thread has a thread about being added to groupchats to make friends who have similar interests. I am in one that she put together and everyone in the group is amazing.
Also this is what I got by reading what you wrote so maybe you should record what you said because I wasn’t the only one to get that idea from what you said in the original post.
The idea I got was that you messaged them about their story then expected to become friends and I sorry to say but it is just not realistic especially if you are younger. There is a lot of older people in the community who don’t like talking to people under a certain age range.
But hey at least you don’t just put “Hi” because I have had that multiple times and my social anxiety says no. It is just confusing so anyone trying that please don’t.
It definitely kinda depends. I know people who will leave other people on read and ignore their messages, not because they’re purposely being stuck up or rude, but some people have social anxiety or are awkward when it comes to pms/1v1 conversations. I personally wouldn’t take it personally, cause you never really know . I definitely used to be like that where I didn’t know how to talk to people, so I’d ignore them.
No you don’t come off as someone that forces friendships to me. You are just very nice.
This is not me bringing down anyone but some big authors genuinely avoid talking or engaging in convos because the IG community is very toxic at some point. At times people write to them and befriend them but have other motives like wanting them to get very comfortable, then take screenshots of a weak moment to expose in opinion pages. It isn’t always the case though.
Others just don’t have the will to make new friends and some are just rude ngl.
Again it isn’t only big authors. Everyone has his or her reason and you can’t really do anything about it.
But the way the community is rn, I think people are just being careful at some point, because no matter whether you agree or not, there’s a lot of fakes in the IG community, even here.
But the moment you meet genuine friends, nothing feels forced.
As someone who creates edits and has some sort of platform on Instagram, I can give some insight. I think you’re getting that disinterest because :
They get a lot of messages, and they don’t have the energy/time to really engage with every single one
It’s awkward. You know about them and they know nothing about you. There’s no conversation because they have nothing to go off of.
There’s a very obvious power imbalance when you reach out to people as a fan of their work, and they can sense it. They’re hesitant to interacting further because it may feel uncomfortable to them, especially if people are fangirling/flooding them with compliments.
They’re not in a good mood.
They have social anxiety.
They just don’t wanna talk.
You are a fan, at the end of the day, that’s just how things work. And while they appreciate you supporting them and enjoying their work, they don’t owe you their time.
To add, I do the same thing. I’m fine with responding back to people, but I am very bad at social interaction and unless I know them already, I won’t know what to do or say so I keep it short. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate people and their support.
I wasn’t just talking about popular authors tho… As I said I am completely aware that they might not want a conversation which is why i never push it. And you’re right they’re never meaning to belittle me because i have less followers. But what I meant is they might think i just want something from them which I really hope they understood that I don’t. But in general I haven’t found many people who are very welcoming, in my personal experience.
Thanks so much for being kind to me. And I totally agree!! There’s always a fear that people have other motives which sucks but I understand. I hope one day i find more friends there to talk to and make them know that I m not talking to them as I want something from them lol.
That’s really untrue, me supporting them has nothing to do with me expecting them to owe me friendship or sumn as that’s just weird tbh. My only motive is to support them and maybe make them happier but sometimes they can be a bit… Not kind? I obviously don’t expect them to be eternally grateful to me and i totally understand why they wouldn’t want to talk with strangers. But in general on instagram it’s been harder for me to find people who are equally kind to me as i am to them and where everything just comes naturally. But again, it’s just my experience.