My First Story Description

Hello there!
I’m writing my first story on Episode, and I would like to know what you think of the description. It catchs your attention? What do you think I could improve? It’s a fantasy story.

Black or white. Wrong or right. Bad or good. If you’ll be the leader and the balance your world needs in the middle of destruction, it’s up to you.

Thank you!

It’s good, but I don’t think people will get the last line. Like, I don’t really get what it meant and they’d probably wanna know what they’re choosing and reading about before clicking to read.

The line is a bit crowded with adjectives and things about us when really it’s about to MC we’ll be following.

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I think you can phrase it better, like this:

Black or white. Wrong or right. Bad or good. It’s up to you to give your world the balance it needs in the middle of destruction, as a leader. What will you do/choose?

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“Black or white. Wrong or right. Bad or good. If you can be the leader and balance the world through mass destruction, it’s up to you.”

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Thank you so much for your feedback! I appreciate that.

I loved that! Thank you so much for you feedback, I appreciate that.

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I loved that one. Can I use that?

I also think it should say “can you be the leader…” it just flows a bit better

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I’ll definitively use that. Thank you for your feedback!

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Sure!

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Thank you!

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