Thank you so much. Iwill get back to you when i am done with urs
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Send us the links!!
No worries, take your time!
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Hi, I am up for r4r. Do check out my story.
Story : Love is Indescribable
Style : Limelight
Genre: Romance
Link :
Cover:
Thank you for reading. Will read yours too:blush:. Send you Ss
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Runtime: 6m 32s, excluding Q&A
I have mainly listed things that could be improved, as that is what I was looking for as I read it. Don’t let that dishearten you at all. You’ve done an amazing job!
Things that could be improved:
- Grammar, mainly regarding commas and at least one case of capitalisation, in every scene. I have listed some, but not all, instances below.
- Speechbubble placement - The speechbubbles are not aligned with your characters mouths.
- Spots - Hallway scene - Generally all characters should have similar eye level, as opposed to just changing their y value
- Spots - Party scene - LUCAS and HANNAH dancing
- Layering - Party scene - KASON walks out below the couple kissing, but he should be above.
- Music - Good use of sound & music, but a couple scenes lack any music
Besides that, great work. Good use of overlays to change the characters opacities.
School Hallway
- List item
Add a comma
LUCAS
Blah, blah- Can we just get to the story, Bea?
Don’t capitalise rushing
BEATRICE
Stop rushing me, Hayes!
LUCAS
Hey! I’m not the one boring the audience like five seconds into the story.
School Classroom
MRS GIBBONS
Okay! Single file to the bus!
School Hallway
The two characters are idle for a second before one falls.
ELORA
Really, freak?
BEATRICE
Who-
LUCAS
Cause it sure does look like it.
Museum
Have you spelt Kason’s dialogue wrong on purpose? “tig” and “bitties”?
Party
Layering - KASON walks out below the couple kissing, but he should be above.
KASON
I was hoping you would say that.
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That sounds so cool! Oml! I’d love to read it!
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Thank you! I’ve started to get around to fixing some already, but you definitely gave me more to fix! I appreciate it SO MUCH! 
AHH ANOTHER BODY SWAP STORY! I love it lol! I can’t wait to read this! 
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Hey!
I just published my new story and I would love to do r4r’s!
I can read any story and I can give you a feedback if you want 
Here are my details-
Name- Fake love
Author name- Sophia
Description- Getting a job…sounds fun, right? Finding new friends and probably a lover, but what if, your new steamy boss holds something more for you? (CC,LL,Art Scenes)
Genre- Romance, Comedy.
Sounds/music- Yes
Customization- Yes
Cover-
Link- http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4914368602636288