In the first episode, you wrote “Doing more gigs does will make me noticeable.” In the scene where she’s talking to Ava, her manager. Sorry if that’s too extra. You said, very critique, so I thought you mean the grammar.
- Your episode (especially your first episode, because it gives a good first impression) are of good-length
- Good cliffhanger, makes readers want to read more.
- Very good on the advanced spot-directing and zooms, along with the custom backgrounds and the cover
- Why the cover? Because for some reason it gives a good impression on your story, especially when the cover is artistic
- Like how choices matter (which I’m scared about because I think I made a wrong choice😂)
- Music and sounds flow well with the story, the only music piece I didn’t think flowed was the one in the model shoot where she was talking to her agent (Ava). I think it was music_neutralbeat . That music always gives me a bad vibe, like a cliche vibe. Sorry, it’s only the music that I didn’t like, the scene was WONDERFUL!

Sorry if this was way too much, It’s one of those stories that is underrated and needs more reads, you deserve them. Also added the story to my favorites!
I’m waiting for more passes to read the rest of the episodes, will be right back!