My story, I want opinions on the storyline (updated due to suggestion)

So, my story is where Aria is at university. A random man comes into her room at night thinking its his friend. He apologises, obviously, but you find it a bit weird he also broke your window. in the process After some choices and episodes, you and him have some chemistry. What will you end up with?

Opinions? Any suggestions?

hmm it kind of makes me think of how wattpad stories can go, and those can kind of be creepy if the guy just goes in somehow although the door would usually be locked. I think it’s a good storyline, but I think for the start, I would strongly suggest that you make sure he knocks first and she lets him in. otherwise it might encourage something that shouldnt be normalized (like breaking into someone’s dorm and becoming romance)

The thing is, ive already scripted like 300 lines. I want to use my existing code to make it more not weird. maybe she can slowly trust him after awhile? (like he does kind acts and realizes he shouldnt break in)

well what happens when he breaks in? like how do the characters interact?

Personally not a huge fan of the breaking in idea as it’s written in your preview. Is there any way the LI can believe that he’s breaking into his own dorm room because his roommate locked him out and he got the room number wrong?

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That could be a good idea. Ill see what i could do, maybe change his dialogue

I changed it so he thought it was his friend, now ill just have to change their relationship with eachother, (so they know eachother)

hmm personally i find it too creepy

Depending on the character’s ages, you could have this character breaking into her room because he’s a bit tipsy after a party held on Campus, maybe welcoming the new students at university. As a prank on the newbies, maybe some of the older students had switched around the room numbers on the dorms and this student believes her room is his.

If I were writing it, that is the sort of direction I would probably take it. I’d also have him be unsuccessful at getting inside. Perhaps he tries the door and when that doesn’t work, he attempts to wake up his roommate, which ends up waking the MC who goes to the door and is obviously irritated. From there, maybe he’s very apologetic, but also confused as he doesn’t understand what happened yet. She begins to be more understanding that he wasn’t at direct fault, but sends him on his way. This way, there isn’t any potentially uncomfortable scenes if a stranger breaking into her bedroom.


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