My Thoughts On Your Story

This is an epic thread where I give my thoughts on your story and tell you if I spot anything that can be improved or not. I know I’m copying Amber, be quiet :smirk::stuck_out_tongue:

I’m not qualified enough to do this probably but I’ll do it because I have nothing to do and I’d love to have a few people actually looking for my feedback.

I’m not too good with grammar, I can point out only major mistakes. So if you’re looking for feedback on grammar this isn’t your place exactly. But if you’re looking for feedback on directing or pacing, welcome! :speak_no_evil:

Here’s what happens:

  • You request your review (?)
  • I put you on the waiting list
  • I read your story and post the review (?)

I’ll try to read at least 2 episodes of everyone’s story. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna read all of your episodes though. :speak_no_evil:

Please only submit your story if you’re actually looking for a review, not reads. Cuz if I just state my opinion (keep in mind this is only one person, only one person’s opinion) and you get too defensive along with being mean, I’ll review your story again and point out every flaw. I don’t hold it in so keep in mind. :heart_eyes:

Submission form

Story title:
Brief description:

These are for me to find your story easily, if you have the link, please post it as well!

Waiting List

Thanks and stay epic! :flushed:


Thanks for this.
Id love to get a review.

Title: A Criminal’s Love
Author: episode.vel
Genre: Drama/Romance
Loving Crystal Was Amazing but I Cant Keep The"JUST FRIENDS"Title
A Choice Between Her & My Daughter is a DILEMMA. She’s The Poison I Drank & I Don’t Know Where To Find The Cure

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I’ll start ASAP! Thank you for submitting! :flushed:

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Can I request feedback on my most recent story?

Story title: Capture the Moment
Author: Karlon Artis
Genre: Comedy
Brief description: Takoda is a photographer who inspires to become freelance and expand his portfolio. Can he snapshot his way to success?

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Story details:

Story Title: In a Starry Night
Author Name: Fatima Al star
Style: Limelight
Genre: Romance/drama
Episodes: 4 (more coming soon!)
Story Description: Rose goes thorough a lot of difficulties that will lead her to find secrets that were hidden for years! Will she ever find happiness and love? (Choices matter)
Instagram Name: @fatima_stories
Story Link:

Story cover


I would love to get a review!

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A Criminal’s Love by @Episode.vel

  • The story looks promising, however many people dislike stories where every initial in description is uppercase. I advise you change your description to “Loving Crystal was amazing but I can’t keep the ‘Just Friends’ title. A choice between her & my daughter is a dilemma. She’s the poision I drank & I don’t know where to find the cure.” I really like the description!

  • Author introductions. Many people don’t like this, I’m personally fine with it, however I suggest you change the background at least to make it a bit more eye-catching, people might leave with the introduction but if it’s necessary we can make it better, right? :wink:

  • So Alex is a creep? I guess there’s a problem with all Alex’s, speaking from experience. :stuck_out_tongue:

  • “I will not open my legs for a looser like you.” should be “I will not open my legs for a loser like you.” You definitely shouldn’t you loose with that line. :rofl:

  • The father is shot?! Damn, these assholes didn’t even give him a chance!

  • “Ghoststroke will kill you” you should but a period in the end.

  • “The Jet is ready mr Salerno.” You should make it “The Jet is ready Mr Salerno.”

  • There’s some serious stuff going on, cartels, prison, moving countries… I like where this is going!

  • Is Hannah a little too obsessed or is Roberto too secretive? :eyes:

  • Kidnapped her? I take it back, she’s not obsessed. :speak_no_evil:

  • Hold on… Jason was there when the father was shot, Jason talks with Donnovan and Roberto talks with Donnovan? Should I trust Roberto? :thinking:

  • Donnovan is a dad? He has a relationship and he was in the cover. Man, this guy sure is a player. :rofl:

  • Vivian is seeing an old guy? I felt bad for the girl when Donnovan made out with Amy but seems as if both deserve it. :rofl:

  • Curtis wants to kill Donnovan… the guy was just released from the prison, leave him alone Curtis. :woman_facepalming:t2:

  • And here they meet. :smirk:

  • “Fucking midget” Well you’re a giant you don’t have a lot to talk Donnovan :smiley:

  • And here they see each other again.


  • Love the recap option. :wink:

  • “Crys meet Donnovan. he will train you for the last skill. oke?” should be “Crys, meet Donnovan. He will train you for the last skill. Oke?”

  • Love Crystal’s attitude. :smile:

  • “Who tf she thinks she was talking to?” should be “Who the fuck she thinks she was talking to?”

  • “I don’t think so. I’m in a relationship now and I have to make time for my partner.” you sure do Vivian. :rofl:

  • Vivian and Donnovan’s relationship is high-key abusive. They need a break up >.<

  • I feel like Donnovan is too mean, maybe you can make him a bit nicer in the new episodes? At least his attitude towards Crystal could be a bit understanding. Or does he get better as time passes?

  • Jason is dating Chantal? I need to ask, wasn’t Jason there when the father was shot? Should Crystal trust
    her? And her uncle Roberto? What about him?

  • I didn’t get the pretty little mouth joke either. :speak_no_evil:

  • And Crystal enters Donnovan’s love life. This man has too many girls :rofl:

  • I now understand why you said the story is for 18+. :smiley:

I enjoyed your story! I really liked your pacing, it was done amazingly, every moment of the story is engaging. The directing is very neat, you have such great directing for a first story. There are a few SPaG errors here and there but they aren’t confusing. You can fix them with a proof reader. I’ll keep reading, I enjoyed this! Keep up the good work! :wink:


@kahotshot @Fatima_Alstar23 Hey peeps! Thanks for submitting! I’ll get to your stories ASAP!

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Hey thnk you so much for the feedback.
Sure I’ll take your advise.
Ive changed my discription for like 3 times :sob::sob::sob:lmaoo. Sometimes im feeling like it really has to be changed again. I’ll fix the grammer mistakes. (I dont know wht sum PR are doing tho :pensive:)
Ow yes and Donnovan’s attitude will chage in the upcoming chapters. Yeah totally 18+
Happy New Year🎉

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You’re welcome! I enjoyed your story and looking forward for more! Happy New Year! :confetti_ball:

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I’d love it if you could do me a review :grin:
Title: Marionette
Genre: Drama
Teaser: Life as a teenager is fun right: partying and making the most of childhood? Well not for Isabelle. She didn’t get the teenage future she was hoping for.
Style: Limelight
No. of Episodes: 5 so far but more coming soon
Cover: Marionette%20Cover

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Hi, thank you for the opportunity.

Story Title: Too Much Baby Mama Drama
Author: Lex
Genre: Drama
Brief description: He has baby mama drama and a lot of it! Will you be able to deal with it, or will you find comfort in the arms of someone else?

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Feel free to check out my story.

My story: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Horror/Fantasy/Adventure
Story style: Secret Surprise :wink:
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you make sense of the havoc you were tossed into and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 5/6

Cover still in Review: (One of my new covers… still havent decide haha)

My episodes are rather long… 20 mins about there just to give a heads up.

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This should be interesting.
Story title: Pine Hollow: Hex of the Three
Author: Elzbiet Zaleski
Genre: Fantasy
Brief description: As Katarina and her family move to the town of Pine Hollow, they find themselves intertwined in a world of supernatural forces; what secrets will rise to the surface?
Note. I’m pretty confident with my directing, but I’d like to hear more opinions on story pace and character development.

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Hi there.

I would love to get your feedback! :heart_eyes:

Story: the assistant
Author: Lonse
Genre: Romance
Description: Hailey is desperate for a job, but what happens when she gets to be an assistant for an arrogant singer? Will she be able to keep her job?
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 4

Thank you so much for doing this!

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Story title: A game of lies
Author: Kalalni Santino
Genre: Romance
Brief description: Eden grew up in a bad crowd will a new location and new friends be the turning point in her life or with everything not be as new as it seems

Thank you :grin:

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Oh Jeez! A lot of replies. Thank you for submitting everyone!



Title: Behind Closed Doors
Author: JessDeBest
Genre: Drama/Mystery
Style: INK
Story Description: College is all fun and games until you discover what’s behind closed doors. Students disappear one by one, and you’re going to get to the bottom of it.
Instagram: @iwrite.stories

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Story Title: In the County
Author: Mimi Brix
Genre: Comedy
Brief description: Alex has an upscale life, but will Fair County take her down a peg?

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Take your time :blush: