Naomi’s reviews (CLOSED)

CLOSED AT THE MOMENT, When I have finished most of the reviews in the waiting list I Will open it again

So I’ve seen a lot of people opening a review thread so I wanted to do one myself since doing reviews is pretty fun.
So here’s all you need to do to get a review.
Put your title, chapters published, story link, description, cover, genre, author name
And I think that’s It.
I Will post the review on this thread. It can take anything between a few hours to a few days. Please be patient.
Also I might be pretty harsh just to warn you. I Will only review the first three chapters.
Waiting list:
Finished reviews:


Hi, I would love a review!
Title: I made the devil cry
Author: Sebule
4 chapters
You’re a soldier, trying to save your kingdom from darkness. Fight with your fate, make decisions.
I have poor data connection, the cover won’t load, but I will try it in a while.
Thank you!

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I’m gonna start your story immediately since I have some time now. It Will most likely be Done in a couple of hours.

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Thanks so much for this! :heart:

Title: Compulsion
Chapters: 3 but chapter 3 isn’t published yet!
Description: Zyro Morte is sent on death row. He’s given the chance to extend his time after the FBI need him for a mission. Simple? One problem, he has to jeopardise his soulmates family!?
Cover: Not made yet!
Author name: Aimee.A
Genre: comedy


I Will
Most likely be able to start your story today as Well.

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Great! Thanks!

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Title: Too much baby mama drama
Author: Lex
Genre: Drama
Episodes: 7
Description: He has baby mama drama and a lot of it! Will you be able to deal with it or will you find comfort in the arms of someone else?


Review for @Sebule

Title: I made the devil cry
Interesting name, it doesn’t really make me super interested in Reading it though just judging by the name.


Chapters read: 3/4

Description: ”Be a soldier. Save your kingdom from darkness. There’s just one problem. Fate you can’t escape from. What’s gonna be your choice?”
It’s interesting But I feel like it sounds a bit Weird in My opinion the way.
I think this would sound better:

”You’re a soldier trying to save your kingdom from darkness. There’s just one problem, you can’t escape fate. But you can always try”


Cover: the cover was pretty cool and I feel like it represented the story Well. If I saw it on the app I’d defintely consider Reading it! 9/10

CC: There was No CC. I Don’t like CC so I actually don’t mind this At all. But take advantage of the fact that there’s No CC. Use hand overlays, full body overlays etc! I love hand overlays and full body overlays so if you have No CC you should take advantage of that and put them in.

Plot: I really liked the plot, I haven’t seen anything like it before! It was new and not very cliche At all! I love the whole concept of it and I really enjoyed it! It needs some development still Which I hope I’ll see in the future chapters. I liked the friendship between Helena and Raven, They really seem to care about each other even though they fight sometimes. You Also notice How strong Helenas feelings are towards Myroslav. I really hope we’ll get to know More about these Two and Whatever he has that makes him act like this. I would Also really like to know More about Ravens and Helenas past as Well as Damians past. We got to know some things about Damian and Helena But not Much about Raven and Why She does this. I Also would like to know More about the master and Why this Diamond (or What it was I forgot) is so important. If I decide to continue I really hope I’ll see More character/plot development and backstories.


Chapter length: I think the chapters were a pretty good length. A tad bit on the shorter side though.


Choices: I have only seen one choice so far Which I gained a point from. I hope you’ll add More choices Which you gain points from and that you make these choices have a impact on the story because else there’s No point in them. In chapter Two I saw 1 or Two as Well and in chapter 3 I Don’t think I saw Any. Which is understandable since it focus a bit on Damian and his past. I think you can add a bit More choices though. Just Don’t add them for the sake of it and add them because they’ll change the plot in some way. If you are able to put in dressing games that would be cool too.


Overlays/Directing: You used some overlays in chapter 1. For example the bruise and blood overlays Which was pretty cool. But When She was moving the bruise wasn’t moving along with her so it looked a bit Weird. I’d suggest you fix that.
In chapter 1 I didn’t notice Any mistakes with the directing But it wasn’t that advanced. I’d suggest putting in More overlays etc. It really makes to story feel 10 Times better. I get How directing can be hard though. As I mentioned I didn’t notice any errors in the directing But it wasn’t that advanced either.

In chapter Two you also used a couple of blood overlays and the overlay with the gun etc. They were pretty cool.

In chapter 3 I Don’t remember many, if any overlays. As I mentioned it would be cool if you tried a bit More advanced directing.


Diversity: I haven’t noticed that Much diversity yet. I saw some POC etc but not that Much diversity. I Also suggest putting in some background characters because I didn’t notice Any. The ball scene was totally empty, which seems a bit unrealistic. I suggest putting in some background characters and if you do, take the time to Customize them or At least their outfits. The names are pretty cool and Unique.


Music/sound: The use of sounds and music was really good. It added a lot to the story and made the scenes More intense. The use of sounds and music in the first scene of the first chapter was amazing. It made the scene a lot More intense. 10/10

Cohesiveness: Things moved a bit too fast. You should slow it down just a bit and spread things into More chapters. I had a hard time understanding everything because some things felt like it moved too fast. I’d suggest slowing it down a bit. It’s hard to process everything That’s going on. 6/10

Spelling/Grammar: Your grammar is pretty good from What I’ve seen so far. I didn’t notice that many errors But I did notice a few.

I’m not exactly sure What the sentence was But I’m pretty sure it Said something like That’s not mine problem. It’s supposed to be My, not mine. I clicked a bit fast but I think it said mine and not my, Correct me if I’m wrong.
Another example is ”Don’t think about wining before you won”. It’s meant to be winning not wining.
When Helena Said ”it hurts like motherfucker”, it sounds better if you put ”it hurts like a motherfucker.” I’m pretty sure there were more tiny errors in chapter 1 but Nothing huge that I noticed. English is not My first language so I might not notice every error.
In a scene in chapter Two you wrote ”there’s too Much of them”, it sounds better if you write ”there’s too many of them”. You Also wrote ”there’s no chance we both make it alive”, it’s meant to be ”There’s No chance we both will make it out alive.”
You Also wrote shot her when it’s meant to be shoot her.
In one scene in chapter 2 you made the same mistake with writing mine instead of My.
You Also forgot some punctations.


Narration: The narration was pretty good, Nothing too cool though. I like a lot of narration but I Also know a lot of people would rather have you show then tell But I feel like some feelings can be into Words using narration. Also When writing narrations try using More difficult Words if that makes sense. It makes the story More interesting. For example instead of putting in beautiful, put ravishing. 6.5/10

Overall: It’s a great story that has a lot of potential. It needs som grammar and spelling fixment and development. But overall it’s a really good story!

1 Like

I would love review

My story : The Star Necklace

Author: Mayah

Style : ink

Description: you are the most rich girl in your country in addition you’re famous but what happens when the Star Necklace uncovers your true identity

Link :


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I’d like to hear a review to improve my story.

Title Scars
Author inxmyxeyes
Genre Action
Style LL
Published episodes 3
Link Click Here

The past created who Eve is right now. Life never goes easy on her. That’s why she became so ruthless to anyone she’s ever met.

1 Like

Title: Betting on a Double by Kalani Santino


Description: What happens when a teenager impersonates a dangerous criminal & gets his friends and himself into trouble with the wrong people?.. can he save himself & his friends?

Genre- Romance
Chapters- 6 published more coming soon

1 Like

Title: The Fake Prince
Chapters: 24
Description: Devon is a palace servant. When he sees the princess, he falls for her. But… she’s a princess… she can’t love him. Unless…
Genre: Romance
Author Name: Cherry Wood

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Hi I’d love a review & constructive criticism! Here’s my story:

Title: It Was Written In The Stars

  • Author: Mars X.

  • Genre: Romance (and some comedy)

  • Style: Limelight

  • Episodes: 3 (and counting!)

  • Description: Leonardo is an eccentric model and astrologer. Darryl is an impoverished street thief. Can they win each other’s hearts? Or are they too different?
    -Plus its male MC, CC, LGBT, and choices matter, with occasional mini games!

  • Link:


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Thank you!
I agree with description, it sounds better :smile: .
Thank you for correction, I struggle with english and I totally agree with you that my vocabulary is nothing much, I would love to use better words, I have the same feeling about it, but … It’s quite difficult, I’ll have to learn English better.
I also agree with pasts, I want to add flashback about Raven in chapter 6, I was afraid it’s quite late in the story, but on the other hand she is going through bad things in the chapter 5 and I want it to be shocking for the reader, but then I want the reader understand why she did what she did because seeing her past… But I was thinking about it a lot if I should put it there sooner or not. :confused:
I’m glad you like it, I’ll try to fix what you mentioned :+1:
Thank you for your review is was really helpful.

1 Like

I’m gonna start Reading your story now, just letting you know❤️

Review for @Aims1141

Title: Compulsion
I like the name, if I saw it on the app I would consider clicking it.

Author: Aimee.A

Genre: Comedy

Chapters read: 2/2

Description: Zyro Morte is sent on death row. He’s given the chance to extend his time after the FBI need him for a mission. Simple? One problem, he has to jeopardise his soulmates family!?
The description is pretty good. It would maybe draw me in if I saw it in the app. It explains the story just enough to know if the story is something you’d wanna read or not.

Cover: I’m guessing the story isn’t entirely published yet so there is no cover yet.
The endcard was pretty cute though and not too long either.

CC: The story has Limited CC for the Two main characters. So you can change their face features but not their skin tone etc. So having full body overlays wouldn’t be easy to have if you wanted Them in your story but you can always use hand overlays if you want to.

Plot: I’ve seen similar things before so it wasn’t anything too unique. I suggest to make it More unique and different to others and develop the plot and characters really Well. The whole concept can be unique if you make it your own. I hope if I continue reading you will do so because right now I wasn’t too impressed with the idea of the plot. It was funny though. I’m also hoping we’ll get to know more about their pasts in future chapters and why he was sent to death row. I’m a bit confused why her friends were there too in the end of chapter 2 but maybe I just forgot and they mentioned why they were there.

Chapter length: The chapters were a pretty good length in my opinion. Nothing too short but nothing too long either.

Choices: I saw a couple of choices so far. I’m not sure if they will have a impact on the story or not. I hope they will though because else they’d be a bit pointless. Remember, a choice is More fun if it’s there to have a impact rather than just there. But I’m not far into the story so Idk if they will end up having at least a little impact on the story or not.

Overlays/directing: The overlays and directing was good. There’s one thing I found a bit Weird in it though. In chapter 1 (or two I don’t remember) Kyros friend threw the gun out of the window and on a dude. The gun looked way too big compared to the guy. Besides that I don’t remember seeing any errors in the spot directing, overlays or speech bubble placement. Good job with the overlays and directing.

Diversity: I saw some diversity in their looks and ethnicity which is good. The background characters Also looked customised and They added a realism to the scene. I did see some default outfits and maybe some default characters but I’m not sure. I suggest to CC both their looks and their outfits. I don’t know the characters that Well atm so it’s hard to know if their personalities will end up being too much alike each other of if they’ll have a more unique personality. I’m defintely hoping we’ll see some character development in future episodes and that we’ll get to know their characters more.

Music/sound: Music and sound was used throughout the story and in the right moments. There wasn’t too much sound and music or too little. I like the use of sound and music throughout the story.

Cohesiveness: I feel like things were moving At a good rate. It wasn’t moving too fast but not too slow either.

Spelling/grammar: Your spelling/grammar is good. I didn’t notice any spelling or grammar errors throughout the story. And if there was any they weren’t noticeable and didn’t make the story worse in any way. Good job.

Narration: I have barely noticed any narration yet. I’m not saying that’s bad either since you’re showing More and telling less. I like narration though so a bit more would be fun. Just Don’t put too much either.

Overall: It was a good story that needs some character and plot devolopement. The directing was good and I barely noticed any errors with the directing or the grammar and spelling. It’s hard to judge a story with so little chapters though.

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Thanks so much!

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Tittle: Under your mask
Author: S.writes
Genre: Mystery
Chapters: 3 ( more coming soon)
Style: Ink
Description: Nia forced to live like a psychopath! A random encounter will change her life. Will Jed Lancer give her a taste of what a real psychopath is?

1 Like

My story: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Horror/Fantasy/Adventure
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you survive, solve the havoc and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 5/6


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Title: Strenght
Author: Csr
Genre: Drama
Style: Ink
Description: Stephanie had her daughter at 17 and her father kicked her out. 18 years later her daughter Katrin struggles with dramas and with her messed family. Will they find happiness?

1 Like