Need an opinion! I'm having a dilemma. :(

Hey, community!

I have been literary boiling my brain with this decision and now I have got to a point where I have a dilemma. :pleading_face:

SO SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY. :sweat_smile:

I have been in the community since 2021 and I love it. It will always be a part of me as it helped me find my dream profession. Unfortunately, something changed in my life so much, that I have not been well at all. I have had many not-good thoughts about what to do with life, but I’m trying to fight.
It has been a year since everything changed and I’m still coping the same way. (Not coping at all) Don’t ask what happened or say you’re sorry because you can’t be sorry for something you don’t even know.

Since I have a couple of years left in school, it will be my priority. That’s why I took a break from Insta till October. I’m leading 2 groups and a member of 1 (I cut a lot off when I left). I’m also an editor, artist, and writer.

Fortunately, since I took the break it has been a bit easier to manage my life. So I guess my question is:

  • Should I stay or
  • Should I leave the community?

If I stay, I will:

  • Delete my own group even if it would be the hardest decision, as I love it and everything I have done to build it.
  • Leave the second group to my partner and all groups I am a member of.
  • Won’t take requests or participate in anything like the prize maker (giveaways)
  • Take art comms
  • Be not so active on Insta
  • Continue to write my stories

If I leave, I will

  • Delete my own group
  • Leave the second group to my partner and all groups I am a member of.
  • Delete my personal Insta
  • Stay on Forums only and take comms here
  • Continue to write my stories

I also forgot to mention that made a stupid decision to help with ga prizes and my good heart couldn’t say no. And believe me, there will be a lot. :sob: And I don’t want to bail on the person who organizes it as she even included me in the main post.

Please vote and if you think you could add something or suggest something, please, do it. :sleepy: I know you can’t decide on my place, but it would help me a lot. Also, a lot of my good friends have left, so I don’t feel like losing another community member would make a difference.

  • Leave the community
  • Stay in the community
0 voters

Kiki :yellow_heart:

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@KikiMoon
Sending you all the love and prayers :heart::heart:

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I’m not gonna vote yet, but I’d just like to say that maybe leaving the social media stuff for awhile and focusing on your story and school would be the best option. You can always come back to social media when you have your personal struggles under control and you find coping mechs for whatever issues you are having.
It sounds like, although you put a lot of work into building your group, it is an issue- since it’s listed as “delete” on both lists between stay/go- so maybe deactivating it for awhile would help you out. The same with any other social media- you can always come back to it. I suppose that also applies to the Forums. As much as I’d hate to see another active and nice community member go, your life and mental health have to be top priority in any situation.

I think taking a break from all the stressful parts and only doing the things that bring you joy is a good stance to have. Give yourself some grace and do what makes your life easier to manage. The Forums and social media will still be here if you decide to come back to them at a later time. :slight_smile:

As far as the accepting to help with prizes, if this is something that has a deadline that someone else could easily make if you stepped away, I would step away. You don’t have to give them your life story just say “I’m unable to keep up with this project and think it best that you find someone to replace me. I apologize but it’s what’s best for all involved.” Will they be disappointed? Maybe. But life has disappointing moments and they’ll get over it. The main point is making sure that you are okay first.

Much love and positive vibes to you, hon. Stay or go, be safe and take care of yourself first. :slight_smile:

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Thank you, Brooke :yellow_heart:

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Well, I have disconnected my profile now, but I need to log in once a moth for it to not dissappear. Maybe thoughts about to not use it anymore have visited me too as I’m getting too attached to it. (To Instagram) :confused:

Honestly, that was the main idea. members are informed and everything, but that giveaway where the host even made a 2 month long deadline so I can take a break disturbed it. Cause if I do it, she won’t have a chance to contact with me. And I don’t think it’s right to keep a group in such a big pause as members may want to do something.

Won’t leave forums as they don’t require a regular posting or follower count :joy: That’s the only way can keep an eye on what’s happening. And I can’t live without the art releases.

I would rather put Episode as my priority than life :roll_eyes: Have been doing t for the past few years.

She texted me in August about her needing an artist to help with ga. I agreed, cause it would be a great way to practice for comms. I told her I will need time because of school and everything and I got the prize count down to 6. Now I see it and think - wtf have I done?

The worst thing I can’t bail out as she made a post including my character AND made a 2 months long deadline because of me.

And thank you so much. Hope after more time, some things can stabilize. :yellow_heart: :yellow_heart:

P.S. Happy b-day :partying_face: :partying_face:

1 Like

Since I use IG about once every SEVERAL months lol I just leave it logged in on my phone lol - I’m not sure the options for deactivation but if you have to log in at least once a month, set a reminder in your phone to log in at the end of each month, that way you have extended breaks between times you need to log in.

This makes my point. It’s not something you want to do anymore and that’s okay and I totally get the mentality of " they did this for me so I have to do X no matter what" but the thing is – if they did make an extension for you, that means they were willing to work with an artist’s needs – and that artist doesn’t have to be you. Ask around to any artist friends you know that would like some extra exposure and let the person running it know that other people are willing to step in.

Also, and this probably sounds mean but idc lol It was nice of them to make a post with your character but that doesn’t mean you have to stay part of it. Like I tell everyone, taking care of yourself and your needs comes before anything else. If you are not okay, then you aren’t obligated to anyone to do anything that causes you stress.
If you absolutely want to finish them, do it then take your leave. You seem like someone who doesn’t want to hurt or disappoint people and that shows what a big heart you have. But it’s also important to remember that you are a person, too. And people need breaks, they need relaxing times, they need to have joy and if the things in your life are causing you stress to the point that your 'boiling your brain" then right now, they aren’t worth it.

I wish you all the peace you can find and I mean it when I say to take care of yourself, your health and your life over everything else. Will certain types of people try to make you feel bad about doing things for you ? Probably - but those people are bitter and need to find some joy in their lives as well. lol

(Thank you :slight_smile: )

2 Likes

Moved to Episode Fan Community since this is related to the community. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :grinning:

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It sounds like leaving the community would be more beneficial for you. And from your description, it doesn’t seem like you would be leaving as much as pulling back. In hard times, it’s important to hold onto the things that bring you joy, but Episode shouldn’t consume your life to the point where your obligations to the community are overwhelming.

I had to close a couple shops last year when I realized I was neglecting my school work. It took about a week to phase out of things (editing posts, messaging requesters, appointing new leaders), and I felt super guilty for having to cancel; but once all was said and done, the freedom was so refreshing.

I assume GA stands for “giveaway”? If you’re not sure you’ll be able to complete whatever you signed up for, I would tell the organizer as soon as possible. Regardless of what ends up happening, a heads up never hurt anybody. Best case scenario—knowing that you reached out in time for them to find a replacement could also alleviate some of the reservations you have about not participating in the giveaway.

3 Likes

Honey, listen:

Years ago I had an insta account where I used to post every day and that was pressuring me so much. I was fed up with it and I was kind of miserable. I then decided to just stop everything and made a post explaining my situation. Then, I deleted insta.
I can’t describe the feeling of relief I felt once the app just disappeared; freedom, happiness- I was just able to breathe again. Since then I don’t have any social media, except the ones where you can text, as I find them to be only stressful and I’m not really getting anything good from them.

I would suggest you to do what’s best for YOU. Don’t care about what others will say. If they really care about you they will understand. YOU should always be the first priority in your life because this is your life. Of course we should care about the others as well, but you know what I’m saying.

Good luck dear, I hope you’re feeling better and that this helped! :blob_hearts: :blush:

Thank you so much for all the advise, Cole. :pleading_face:I had a time to think about it and I already know what I have to do. Will share it in a moment.

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Episode has always helped me escape from reality. It is my safe place where I can do what I want.

I closed some things and left groups in May hoping it would help. It really helped, but i still had a lot to do.

Yeah :sweat_smile:

I texted her yesterday and I was even surprised she was ok. I told that I will let her know if I can’t do it and find someone in my place. I have a month left to think about it.

Thank you so much for the advice. :yellow_heart:

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Honestly, I did this.
Yesterday I deleted both my group and episode Instagram’s. I feel a bit uneasy, but I think it was necessary. Thank you so much for helping. :yellow_heart:

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You’re so welcome dear. I’m happy I could help and I hope you feel better soon! :heart:

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Thank you for voting and your advises.
I re-thought everything and decided to go with the first option - stay.
So, I guess - see you. :yellow_heart:

@Sydney_H you can close the thread.

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