Need Beta Readers for revamped story, "I'm No Cinderella"

Creator's Corner Share Feedback
21

Thanks so much! I’ve actually gotten this a lot, but the truth is, I actually have a step mother and two stepsisters of my own which is where a lot of this inspiration comes from! Did you read all three chapters or just the first?

1 Like
22

Also, if you wanna keep up, follow me @christinar.stories on instagram!

1 Like
23

I read all three chapters.

1 Like
32

bump

33

aspire-demibold

  • They are up too high to be sitting in the chair.

  • The “G” in God is supposed to be capital.

  • You had lots of defaults.

  • Her speech-bubble was off when she bumped into Aron in the hallway.

  • Lily is wearing sam clothes from when she did when Clarissa was on stage.

  • When Lily said “I forget” it’s “I forgot”

aspire-demibold%20(1)

  • While reading this story I had a quirky and awkward kind of vibe to it.

  • I didn’t know where the story was heading while reading the first episode.

  • Why did I already know someone would find her diary? :joy:

  • There were so many original Episode backgrounds, I think that made your story lost that creative point.

  • The story is kinda confusing to me, but I kinda like it.

1 Like
34

This was Episode One.

1 Like
35

Ya, must of the errors were things I was planning on changing anyway. As far as the diary thing being obvious, ya it was a super predictable part of the plot that I created a long time ago and can’t change, so the angle I took with it was to make it obvious just like it probably is to Clarissa, blah blah blah, create tension with the reader and paranoia with the character, idk if that worked or not but I tried. I’m glad the quirky/awkward vibe is shining through. Thank you for your help! Also, I like your review template.

1 Like
36

Also, in what way would you say the story is confusing?

1 Like
37

I would say, lot’s were just being thrown at it, but that’s personal for me.

38

Ya, I don’t disagree. Chapter 1 is very expositional, and the more I think about it, there are some times I throw things out there like “Oh wait. Your parents are DEAD” and it’s prolly like “Where the heck did that come from?”. Idk, previous chapter recaps before each episode might help with that, but ya, that opinion is totally valid.

1 Like
41

bump

42

bump!

43

This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.