Need constructive criticism for my first story

Hey everyone!
I just published my first story, coincidentally for the Another World contest. The theme fit my idea perfectly so I made a few adjustments and boom - a story was in the making. Unfortunately, my computer broke down for 2 weeks so my time for the story was cut down by a half. But I am still proud of it, even if I’m definitely not gonna win, but since I can’t objectively say how good it is, I would really like if someone could read it and write a few recommendations, notes etc for future episodes :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Title: AW: Dawn of Resurgence
Genre: Fantasy/Sci-fi/Romance/Action (basically everything :smiley: )
Style: Limelight
Episodes: 3 (more coming soon)
Description: In a world where dying is no longer inevitable,Aurora and her friends have to convince everyone that it doesn’t lead to their salvation…but to their destruction.
Link:
http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6388508112781312

Note 1 : I really wanted to have 2 overlays in Chapter 2 in the forest scene: a fence, and a tear on the LI’s face, but unfortunately they didn’t get approved in time. So just imagine they are there :smiley:

Have a lovely day.

Looks interesting. I’ll read it. I think you should look for Joseph Evans’ overlays

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thank you so much! :relaxed:

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No problem! Happy to help

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Hii! I would love for you to review it!
Thank you! It took way longer to make than you would think, so I’m happy you like it!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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