Need feedback on teaser (In need of proofreaders.)

I want to see if the teaser for my story is hooking enough. I also would like a few tips on the dialogue, I feel as though it’s a bit plain at some points and I’d like some suggestions on how to improve it.

Dm me for the link! :black_heart:

This is my first official story, but I think I did pretty well!

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I’m happy to help! Mind if I PM you tomorrow though? It’s pretty late here.

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