Need good comebacks/ rude talk

I just got back into writing stories for Episode again and I really just need help with rude talk between two characters. No context needed, I will build off whatever is given.

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Here are some comebacks:
your face makes onions cry.
You are the reason god created the middle finger.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
You should really come with a warning label.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You can use comebacks when the two charcaters are doing a roasting battle. I read a story on episode where the characters used comebacks like this and said it to each other. It was hilarious!

rude talk can be like your characters can be feisty towards each other and call each other names like a**hole or something.

Hope this helps you and good luck with your story!


Here are some comebacks:

Harsher ones

  • Your a#s must be pretty jealous of all the sh#t that comes out of your mouth.
  • I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a c#nt when I see one.
  • If I wanted to hear from an as#hole, I’d fart.
  • The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s a#s and wait.

Softer ones

  • You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.
  • Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
  • Please, keep talking. I only yawn when I’m super fascinated.
  • It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
  • If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional.

"Yo’ mama" jokes

  • Yo mama is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed three episodes.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
  • Yo mama’s so stupid when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
  • Yo mama’s so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

could i use any of these for my story?! I love them!

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Yes, of course! :blush:

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