Need help for a story description

Hi i don’t think my story has a good story description so if you could help me her is my story description

Story description

After the murder of Angelica’s pregnant mom, her whole world shatters into pieces and her best friend takes advantage of that. Will she ever love and trust someone again?

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After Angelica’s pregnant mother was brutally murdered, her world shatters into peices like glass. Her best friend (or so she thought) decides to take advantage of that. Can she ever trust someone again? Or love?

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Personally, I think its pretty good. But, you could use “After the murder of Angelica’s pregnant mom, her vulnerability is her closest friend’s punching bag. Trust is shattered, her love is gone. Can she ever be normal again?”

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thank you for your help

thnx for your help

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