Need some Thought on My Story Idea

Hi, I am currently working on the new story after my previous story recently put on to be reviews and thought. But my struggle putting onto the story with mature content lead me to tone down into more T-rating (13 or 14 and above) content. Don’t worry, there’s no weird things going on, just pure action with vicious violence but here’s my story idea.

Title: Queen of Crimes

About: In the world of mobsters, there are fame and corruptions controlled by the 5 Families. Because of the authority didn’t do anything to stop the corrupted mob bosses, one mobster decided to fight against them by forming her own syndicate.


  • Wanda Vineyard - protagonist of the story served as anti-hero and primary playable MC. Establishing as Sicilian-Italian descent, bisexual high function sociopath with psychotic intellect and wearing crazy fashion over typical suits and blazers.
    ** Note: Her character is inspired from American singer, Lady Gaga. But this inspiration mostly on Wanda’s share taste of fashion compare to original in order to establish herself as unique individuals over being typical mobsters.
  • Gloria - deuteragonist of the story served as secondary playable MC. After she was rescued by Wanda from biker about to sold her as slave. Gloria taken under Wanda’s wing as her mentor throughout the story. She also has two possible love interest depends on her journey.
  • Dolly Bliss - tritagonist of the story served as Wanda’s second-in command and lover. Her role mostly give advice on both playable MCs throughout the storyline while on romance with Wanda.
  • Adeena Hajjar - owner of nightclub while running private contraband (not mentioned for specific due to guideline restriction) for Wanda. Adeena is Wanda’s business partner and playing as supportive role for Wanda throughout the story.
  • Alessia Colombo - descendant of her grandfather, the original founder of 5 Families and Colombo Family. Alessia serves as main antagonist willing to do anything for power while being elegant and well-respected.
  • Bing Wen - Owner of illegal cage fighting in his grand restaurant and one of the 5 Families alliance and boss of the Triad, Golden Tiger Clan. He serves as secondary antagonist willing to stop anyone trying to ruin his business.
  • Misha Medvedev - Russian former boxer turned crime boss for his own syndicate, Red Bear. He’s served as one of antagonists and allied with Alessia for 5 Families.

The others characters are yet to confirmed. But not sure if anything we can do to either ensure this can be work on PG-13 that tone downed with only violence or making it mature content in pure action story. While this might be the trend, my idea has nothing to do with it since I did not know about it until recently. Even if I did, most of the time I tried to do something different than just typical gangster story. Let me know it this might work or give me some advice for it thanks

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Corrupted mob boss? :grinning: isn’t mob already an illegal thing?
Mob is an illegal group of criminal people doing illegal business and never paying taxes. Why should one criminal group wanna make a honest move and fight against another criminal group just because it’s corrupted? All mobsters are against authorities anyways. Make them fight over other things than corruption cause it doesn’t sound right. You should probably make them fight over a thing that is relatable to all readers including 13,14 y/o. One of the options could be love of course but there also could be revenge/trying to “remove” certain people/trying to become clean and start a honest life/co-operating with authorities/etc

True, but yeah. I could go for like revenge story. But most of revenge has something to do with Gloria. My plan to have her trying to fight against another criminal group related to her dark past that lead her to become sociopath, especially her struggle of moral compass for not only believe in good and evil, but bad or worst (far or too far). She chose to form her own crime syndicate because she believes she can’t stop the crime but to control it, and knowing other criminals and corrupted authorities (include police officers) doing illegal things to people that related to her life. In other words, she hates people (include 5 Families) doing illegal things (include kidnapping) to teenagers. On other hand, Gloria’s story is pretty much avenge her parents’ death from murderers tie to 5 Families at the same time protected by Wanda from the other mobs try to kill her. Which also creates conflict on whether she could trust Wanda as her mentor or authorities themselves. That just my opinions…

Wow, that’s complicated. I guess you have to figure who are the people who are going to read it. Since readers are mainly women … or you could turn MC into a guy or even into a teenage girl since her parents are dead anyways. There must be something relatable. Now of course it depends on weather you want this story to be extemely sucessful or just experimental project.
It could be less complicated when you start with 2-3 characters only in the first capter so the readers can get to know MC better, relate and engage so they will be inteested what happens next. Then in next chapters slowly bring in rest of the characters. It must be really clear why they fight, why they hate or even why they do what they do - being a mob. You have to actually explain because in case the reader is 13-14 y/o. They will not understand and you also would need to express somewhere in your story that being a mob is bad - dont be a mob or else… blah blah. Yeah this is where episode’s new rules are leading us. All you can write now is a childrens bed time stories.

The story seems pretty interesting and you seemed to have thought it through a lot but my advice to you is to not do it on episode since violence is the main plot point and it will be a shame for you to have to cut corners or be taken down because you are on episode

Fair enough. But that was an exactly the reason I posted it so I could get feedback on whether this could work or not. If you feel this idea is more suitable to mature content, then I can just keep that out of episode until the mature app is out (as they probably will - or not). For now, I was just trying to find something new and interesting (even under new content guidelines) that is completely different than what I did originally since day 1. So yeah this just me putting out my ideas on what you guys think. Especially the fact that tone it down might work (except it might probably be less boring than mature content perspective), but not all the time.

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