Need your opinion guys

Hi there Guys this is my new story so if there is anything I should change tell me please I appreciate it thank you
Story: Miss Unlucky
Episodes:7 and more are coming
Link:http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5761850766196736
Genre: romance
Instagram: Hasna_ma

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3 posts were merged into an existing topic: I need some feedback and correction also your suggestions