New author, new story. Feedback?


#1

Hey guys! I am a new author and I’ve just posted my first story. I would really like some feedback on it.


Please tell me about any improvements I can make.:grin:


#2

Please tell me the name?


#3

Name: How?
My name (as an Author): Ireangi :smile:


#4

Story name?


#5

“How?”


#6

Oh I’ll check it


#8

From the first episode, you have some humor and pretty good directing. I just suggest maybe when Clovis talks about Titanic, to capitalize? The backgrounds are also nice. Maybe just some comma work and a little grammar? I mostly like how you used punctuation, though there were a couple times that periods were missing. I was just a little confused without some background on the characters. You had one or two run on sentences, but it wasn’t as many as I’ve seen in other stories. You also used “cause” in the place of “because” multiple times. Overall, I liked your story, but I’m a little confused about what’s happening in the plot.


#9

http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5249556581580800 here is my newest story. I need help with feedback please. It isn’t finish yet but more episodes are on the way


#10

#11

Topic closed due to one month of inactivity.


#12