NEW FANTASY STORY: MY KALONA (A Native-American Inspired Tale)

Please, don’t promote your stories here. There are plenty of other places for that. Although I’m sure your stories are amazing, I would like to keep this uncluttered and strictly for my own stories updates and discussion (If any or ever). We are each allowed only ONE topic/thread dedicated to our own story and I would like to use it for just that. Please, feel free to ask for R4R in a R4R welcome section.

Title: My Kalona
Genre: Fantasy
Description: While 17 yr old Naomi desperately tries to bond with her estranged father, she becomes the prisoner of a Native-American curse that threatens all. Help Naomi defeat the curse!


What’s special about it?

1.) This story is for those who enjoy more dialog to their story. In other words, you prefer to read more than watch. In other, other words, you want to feel like your curling up with a good book rather than watching a television show.
2.) This story will offer players a real challenge when it comes to choices. No more meaningless choices, and overdone dress-up games. With the complex branching used to create this story, your choices have the ability to unlock special scenes, unlock new characters, gain or lose relationships, provide multiple paths, increase or decrease your chapter length, and change the overall feel of your story! This is one story you may actually read over & over again!
3. This story keeps it clean and still manages to capture your interest! That’s right… no cursing, no “sexy” scenes, and zero suggestive content! This story can be read by anyone from age 12 to 120!


would you like to do a r4r? :star_struck:

Title: Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane
Author: Marshmallow O.
Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy (Thriller)
Style: Limelight
Summary: It’s a race against time as you and your friends try to escape the mysterious sleepover that you were invited to… Read to uncover the Mystery on Hanging Hill Lane.



Chapters: 5 (More to come)

Full CC/Choices Matter/Point System/Advanced Directing!:blush:

Looks interesting! I’d love to do a r4r with you if you would like :slight_smile:

Story: Adventurous: Time Immune
Genre: Adventure
Summary: When loud-mouth Mikea sets off on a road-trip with YOU, it becomes harder to hide the truth of your origin… oh, and that you are an immortal cyborg.
CC, POC, LGBT, multiple endings

Story: Sorry, Wrong Number
Genre: Thriller
Summary: “And that’s how we’ll get rid of the body. Sorry, wrong number.”
When a text is sent to the wrong person, it leads to a race against time to prevent a murder. TEXT BASED

OmG Kalona!!! Exactly like in House of Night!

I can do R4R with you

My story: © Tribe of Malapinchi
Author: Jannah Jackson
Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Horror/Fantasy/Adventure
Description: Toss into a land of the sun, magic, lies and dark secrets in Asia. Can you survive, solve the havoc and save everyone before it’s too late? CharacterCustomization
Episodes: 5/6


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I’m not familiar with “House of Night,” but I know of only one Kalona (AKA the Raven-Mocker)… So it’s probably is the same thing…lol. I hope you enjoy it if you have a chance/decide to read it :slight_smile:

I read what you have so far and really enjoyed it! I only noticed there are a few typos (punctuation and things like “it’s” when it should be “its,” and so on), and the first dress-up option does not let you preview your choice. As soon as you pick one, you cannot go back. I think that’s my only criticism.

I like the pacing of the story and the writing. It really does feel like I’m reading a book. I was actually wrapped in a blanket, lying on my couch, while reading. :slight_smile: Looking forward to knowing what happens next!

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I am up for R4R…
Are you interested?
here is my story-
It’s called-
Story- ADVENTURE: Adventure House
Genre- Adventure/Horror
Chapter (So-far)- 3
Style- Lime Light
Description- The world is not what is seems from the outside and you have realized it the hard way. The Adventure in the Adventure House is gonna be a hell of a ride for you and your friends.

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Thanks so much for the feedback, I went through and corrected the choices so they are now able to be reviewed! Thank you so much for letting me know. I also went through to correct any missed punctuation mistakes. Very VERY appreciated feedback! May I ask what choices you’ve made so far in the game?

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You’re welcome! And I’m glad my feedback can help.

Let’s see, from what I can remember:

  • I chose the black dress that made me hard to see in the night >.>
  • I chose practical clothes every time
  • I chose “Vampires,” hoping Naomi’s Dad would take a joke, but I suppose it was too early in the relationship for that XD

I can’t remember what other choices are made. :frowning: I wish there was a way to review them, like in Telltale Games titles, haha.

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GREAT! So far your path is coming out exactly how I expected! (Sometimes no matter how much you check over your flags & gains… its best to actually get a reader to play it through) TY so much for taking the time to let me know! Excellent choices by the way!

hmmm… a choice reviewer??? Great idea! I may try to find a way to incorporate that after every 5 chapters or so.

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That is a good idea, getting different people to playtest. :slight_smile: I haven’t published an Episode story yet, but I’m assuming Episode doesn’t provide any analytics tools or data about the choices players are making in the story?

Yes actually, when you click the directing options in the preview section you will see multiple selections… click on “story modifiers” to access current “gains” “points” etc… (This tool has been VERY helpful for me)

on the left side of the screen you can preview all your “labels” and “choices” throughout that chapter.

While previewing you chapter, you can check periodically to be sure your gains are being picked up…
You can also change the modifiers to be sure the story plays as expected… So if a choice in a previous chapter like “blue_dress” is valid in chapter two… you can click on “blue_dress” and play chapter two to be sure the story plays out correctly if the gain was picked up in an earlier chapter.

I hope I explained this well… (probably not)

I recommend a “tester story” to test and play around with the codes or even save difficult or mundane coding sequences. (I just copy paste my dress up games from my tester story and change the outfit names) It makes things much easier

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Bumping (24 hours)

Chapter 8 is up!

Chapter NINE is up!