I finished your story @MinMiin
I am sorry but I must be honest to help you
I know it is painful to have just a little bit of read and your trying your best but first about the customizing!
My hair was red is that suppose to happen because I though I could choose my own hair color
Next is about your story it’s all going so fast for example:
The boy who was a vampire it was already on chapter 3
And for a mystery story you must be slow to think about the wait things that happens on a city!
You must give the reader the time to understand what is wait on the city!
I hope you will understand that I am telling you this to just help you and if you want help with your story!!
I am happy to help I am not a professional if it comes to writing a story but I could always help you because I am writing one too!!
Good luck for making your story better I know that you can do this!