Hey I’ve just written my first story. It’s called Identical and I would really love it if anyone could read it and offer some feedback
Here are the story details:
CC: MC and LI
Description: Violet has only lived a perfect life. But that perfect life is built on a dark secret. Will that secret stop her at a chance at love or will it ruin everything?
Feel free to review it publicly, I’ll take any form and amount of feedback! Thank you so much!
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Hey there, I just came across this thread and thought your story sounded really interesting. I was not disappointed, it was amazing. I really love the attention to detail, like with how you flipped the overlays for incoming calls to make it look like characters were actually reading it. All the hologram effects looked amazing too, felt like an illusion My only critique was that I saw a few background characters with ashy lips, which you might want to change to make it look more natural and realistic, but other than that it was really amazing and I do hope you continue writing it
Ah thank you so much! And thank you for reading it o:
I assure you, there won’t be any more background characters with ashy lips from now on
I agree with Amber. This story is really good.
This story is very well-written. I don’t read many mystery or dramas, but the story that you have created is so extremely detailed and good that I will continue it. I also hope that you, as an author, continue writing it whenever you find the time to do so.
Thank you so much! I’m glad you feel that way o:
I’ll continue to write for sure!
There is just one thing I’d like to say. When you’re looking in the past and you’re including the exact time compared to the story’s timeline, you should not let the “15 years ago” stay there for as long as it does. It’s only a recommendation to make it look a little better. It should fade out of the scene as soon as the first Episode model has done something, for instance speak.
I’ll be editing those scenes then! Thanks for the feedback
Of course! This was really the only thing I spotted with your directing. You have created a very interesting story. I don’t know what’s going on inside that smart brain of yours, but I like it very much. Nothing wrong with you grammar either.
Other than that, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
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