New Story I'll see you soon


#1

Hey guys!
I’m Magdalene:)
I just created my first ever story on episode.
Could you please have a look at it?
Means a lot, thank you


My new story :)
I'll see you soon - Delilah's messed up life ;)
#2

I recommend you put in a link so it easier for people to see what the story is!


#3

I did! Thank you so much


#4

Brilliant. I will give you my thoughts soon


#5

So, these are my thoughts on the first chapter:

Your story has great potential and here are some pointers to further improve your story:

I would recommend that you add punctuation marks at each piece of dialogue (trust me I know this is a pain!)

Here are some tips and comments:

  • When Delilah has her monologue I recommend with her spot directing you zoom onto her. This will prevent empty space being a focus during this part of the story (the introduction part). Then, zoom out when Lena enters from the screen.

  • With Delilah’s drinking - do @add Red Cup to DELILAH and whenever you wish to remove this prop do… @remove Red Cup from Delilah. This is a minor detail but it will really help you improve that bit.

  • To improve the the aesthetics - whenever Lena talks, zoom onto her and whenever, Delilah talks zoom onto Delilah. This is something I do in my stories personally and it does help improve the way your story looks!

  • The plot is very intriguing and I like how this covers a flawed protagonist whose going through a very crucial period of her life.

  • When doing the brushing hair and lipstick action, I recommend adding props (so use this template to help you @add PROP NAME (click on the prop name to have the proper format) to DELILAH and use @remove PROP NAME from DELILAH.

  • Also, I recommend varying the animations you use for speaking, as this can make the characters seem more natural and even help dialog to flow!

  • Hahaha, loved Josh and him eating that cupcake!

  • To help improve the element of mystery - I would recommend putting Josh in a different zone. So when Delilah asks for Josh then he comes into the same zone as Delilah then do the shock reveal! It would add dramatic effect to the story.

  • I am very curious on the past that Josh and Delilah shared, I am curious indeed.

  • Haha, love the lack of craps Bob gives - me too, buddy. Me too.

  • Haha, loved the subtle humour in the story. Lovely touch indeed.

  • I’d recommend fixing up the spot directing when the students sleep - make sure to hide their legs to make it seem like they are sitting and sleeping at class properly!

  • Ooh, I love the complexity of Delilah as a character!

  • Fantastic way of showing the grief Delilah had, it’s very human indeed.

  • I think the plot is very nice and I know this is your first story, so maybe when you have learnt more about directing you can go back to edit the episode.

  • Your directing was in fact with very little errors and liked the use of a monologue as well as a flashback later on.

Well done! Keep up the hard work!


#6

Hello, we could do a read for read if you want ? :slight_smile:

But first: For a guaranteed feedback fill in the form

Link below :

Here is the description of my story :

Title : Jungle Fever
Author : Maggy

Genre : Romance/Drama
Style : Ink
Number of episodes : 6 (more episodes coming soon)
Instagram : maggy.episode

Description : A bad boy Prince with a lot of ego and a womanizer, gets lost in the middle of the Jungle and meets a fierce African Princess called Maya. Will he handle the change of environment?
Link : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/5221523745800192

image


#7

R4R?

Name: The Ember Moon Pack

Description:

Being a werewolf is not easy. Especially when you have 3 hot hybrids following your every move.

New episodes every week!

Customizable Characters, 5 Endings, Choices Matter

Chapters: technically 7 bc ch 1 is customization

Genre: Fantasy/romance/horror

Style: Limelight

Link:

Instagram: gisellepisode :smile:

In_Love_With_My_Teacher_I0_posterThumb_p9gCoNxLMr

Want updates on this story? Here’s the update thread!


#8

Hey!
I’m with epi.foody.reviews. We do story reviews of new or underrated stories and post them on our Instagram! If you are interested in having your story reviewed and helping to promote it you must like us on Instagram (@epi.foody.reviews), read and follow the rules posted on our Instagram and then fill out this form!


Thank you and good luck with your story :slight_smile:


#9

Thank you so much for your help! Im thinking to improve the 3 chapters before adding a new episode ! Thanks a lot , you’re a star ! :slight_smile:


#10

You are very welcome and that sounds like a great plan! Your story has a very interesting concept and if you refine your story, it will be even better!


#11

Lmao still have to go back to episodes to fix stuff up like character points. It is a pain in the butt :joy::joy::heartbeat:


#12

The hardest part is done, now I have to concentrate on the things you told me :slight_smile: I was planning to write this story last year but was afraid nobody will like it. Thank you :slight_smile:


#13

I had the same fear that held me back from writing but if we are writing something we are truly passionate about (which we are!!) then there will be some people out there who will enjoy it! Also, if you wish later on to seek feedback on your revamp - feel free to PM me :slight_smile:


#14

I tried to improve it a little bit.
Could you check it for me whenever you get time??
Thank you :slight_smile:


#15

Sure, I’ll check it out when I can :smile:


#16

Great, thank you :slight_smile:


#18

R4R?

Name: The Ember Moon Pack

Description:

Vampires, werewolves, and hybrids – who will you side with? Hey, Hybrid Queen, hurry up. War is on its way.

Customizable Characters, LGBTQ+, 5 Endings, Choices Matter, Music

Chapters: technically 9 bc ch 1 is customization

Genre: Fantasy/romance/horror

Style: Limelight

Link:

Instagram: gisellepisode :smile:

In_Love_With_My_Teacher_I0_posterThumb_J6oQ0OE2Uh

Link Tree:


#19

r4r?

Story name: Rewind Inc
Description: Ayla Adelram and Bella all get kidnapped by the evil Crimson. Can Ayla escape with all the drama lust and jealousy?
Cover


Feel free to decline my offer.


#20

Let me know if you want to do a read for read :slight_smile:
Title Alone Till There Was You
By Bethany
Cover
al
Genre Romance
About Summer is a single mother and life has not been so good to her. But when she meets a man named Spencer things start to get better, but what happens when she finds out just who he is?
Link http://episodeinteractive.com/s/6668287837339648


#21

Hello!
I’ve published a new Romance\Drama story. Hope you’d give it a try!

Title: Masked By Pride

Genre: Romance\Drama

Author: NB

Style: INK

Instagram: nb_episode_

Description: A love-hate relationship grows between Gabriella and her handsome but annoying Boss Chris. When Gabriella is forced to see Chris everyday, how will things go between them?
( Promise this isn’t a typical Love-Hate Story. It’s full of surprises and plot twists! )

Link: http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4556051831848960

[cover