Just finished your story
Sorry it took so long, had others before you. I really enjoyed your story, the directing is really good, dialogue is attention grabbing. Only negative feedback is that you had a few grammatical errors.
You said “he she”. Delete “he” to make this dialogue make sense.
Said dinner instead of diner.
And this one had me confused too. I think you meant to say “where you work” instead of “when”. Just little errors. I had tons of grammatical errors in my story also. Other than that your story is definitely one of my fav. I’ll be follow if for more updates
Here’s my story if u dont have it bookmarked : http://episodeinteractive.com/s/4995598689632256