Non epi related advice needed

Okay okay okay
First off hi people how are you guys?

Secondly, I start high school tomorrow (technically today since it’s 2:01 am already) IN PERSON for the first time as a freshman and I’m like really really nervous even though I have been doing online. I have really bad scocial anxiety and I’m kind of scared. Any advice? Any advice will be appreciated

Thank you in advance,
MataWrites :brown_heart::coconut:

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Hi first of all all the best
Second,
Just be urself!!
Dont pretend to be someone u r not!! U r who u r and u wont change it for the sake of reputation!! U r wierd? U r nerd? U have your own quircks?? DONT CARE!!
get friends…perhaps also a guy who accepts the real u and not the u who u r pretending to be!!
Real love and real friendship are things money and reputations cant buy!!!
As for social anxiety…hmm…well be open minded and make friends but just dont trust everyone!! (:heart_eyes:

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Sameee I’m going back to school very soon as well

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Don’t worry about it.
Think about it this way, every year in every country, there are freshmans starting their first day! It isn’t special, and you’ll find your place though.
Plus, everyone else is a little nervous too, you know.
Just be yourself, let it flow.
Everything will be alright, don’t stress about something that isn’t worth it.

Btw, HS is so overrated.
I graduated HS last year, and I’m now a first year college student.

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Hello :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I honestly can relate cause same, I have social anxiety and I am very shy and insecure (I am an introvert) and first day of HS I had panic attack!

Now I am going to uni and I actually went to see psychologist (who works at my uni as a student counselor and helps with our daily struggles) and I am trying to work on my social anxiety so I will try to share some tips I have learnt so far!

Firstly, most people actually don’t really care and don’t notice or follow what you are doing at all times, I used to be so scared that I will do something embarrassing and that everyone will see and laugh at me or think that I am stupid, while most people are just busy with themselves and just don’t care. My psychologist told me that as I am centre of my own universe, the same goes for other people and while I am here struggling with how I look/walk/talk other people are too busy with themselves to actually notice!

Secondly, if you are too scared to approach someone right away try to observe your classmates first and see who seems most friendly/approachable. If you are nervous around larger groups try to find someone who is alone. Or you can wait until someone approaches you first, remember that it’s not just your first day, it’s theirs too so chances are they are gonna want to meet you too as well!

Thirdly, it shouldn’t matter even if other people don’t have the best opinion about you! I met my fair share of mean people im HS! Best thing to do? IGNORE THEM, don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you care about their stupid opinons! Did they get to know you so thay can even form an opinion? No? Then do you really care what someone like that thinks? Someone who is so judgy, shallow and close minded? No, you shouldn’t care. Even if someone is acting mean towards you remember that it’s THEIR LOSS and walk away with a smile because you just spared yourself meeting a toxic person!

In the end remember, you can never please everyone so don’t even try! Just be yourself, real friends will appreciate it, and the people who don’t are not needed in your life! Best advice is be you, and take it slowly, everything will be fine! HS is really a nice experience once you get used to it! Best of luck! :heart:

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Thank you sm! I’m so glad you have gotten help your your anxiety :sparkles:

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First off congratulations bestie. And thank you so much for your advice because I was Frrl scared sh*tless.

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Thank you so much for your advice. I’ll try to be as open minded as I can and try to talk to people. (My school is the biggest one in the district so it’s not problem finding people to talk to lol. )

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That happened to me and what got me through it was not caring what other people think. You are there to learn, not there to be picked on by other people! So be yourself and ignore the ones that try to bring you down

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Moved to General Chat since Share Feedback is for story ideas and reviews. Make sure to check out our Forum Tutorial for more info about creating topics, and feel free to PM me if you’ve got questions. :smiley:

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Be really wary of whom you trust, whom you confide in and don’t believe everything people tell you. It’s better to have few real friends, than have crowds who gossip about and trash-talk even their best friends.
Focus on your studies. Highschool is temporary: the people from highschool are temporary and it’s very unlikely you’ll keep in touch with your highschool colleagues, thus the “whole class skipped school and you weren’t a party pooper so we have you in our good books” won’t be around anymore after highschool. No one will care you were with the cool kids, or that you did everything to belong. The fame and popularity will fade, while the knowledge stays with you no matter what, and no one can take it away from you. (Knowledge won’t backstab you).
Other than that, try not to be an attention-seeker, those get bullied first thing. Try not to force friendships. Be natural, if you click with someone, alright, if you don’t, just let them go (and I mean friends here, not romance). When there are fights and debates, hold your ground if you know you’re right, don’t let yourself be influenced by the “mEaN gIrLs” or anything of that sort. Don’t be a people pleaser, if you don’t want to do something, don’t do it for the sake of people liking you.
Hear people out when there’s an exchange of opinion, you might learn something smart from them (X doubt, but that’s the healthies mindset to have, you don’t want to belong to the cancel-culture).
I think the easiest way to filter snakes is to always know more about your friends than you share with them. Unless someone really proved it to you that they have your back, don’t share very personal stuff because you’ll turn into the talk of class, if not school.
Remember that teachers and adults aren’t your enemies, so don’t shut them out. They DO understand what you’re going through if only you take the courage and effort to explain it to them. (Adults where once like you, you weren’t like them yet.) I say this because in a lot of cases of bullying and whatnot, kids completely ignore the option of turning to a teacher or a parent with this problem, when in fact they are the ones who can protect you best.
Don’t engage in catfights, that’s lowly. And especially not over a guy.
Here comes the talk, so brace yourself: I don’t advise doing any funny business with guys/girls until you’re at least 16. Not (only) because “oMg yOuRe tOo yOuNg” but also because 1. your discernment isn’t properly developed, and you might regret it later if it’s not with the person you’d really want it to be. Yes that’s a thing, you might look back years later and think "damn, that douche really didn’t deserve it as a person, to take my virginity. And 2. I know everyone likes to think they’re not naive at that age, but you are. Believe me, you are and I only started to realize how naive I was at your age when I grew up. So the thing is, boys at that age aren’t serious (sure there are exceptions, but they’re not a majority). Especially with today’s trends, they’ll look for screwing as much as possible, with as many girls as possible. And you can easily fall into their trap. Here’s a thing my mom always says: Men will tell you they love you so you sleep with them, women will sleep with you so you tell them you love them. And it’s pretty true in most of the cases, if you take a closer look, because guys will lie the moon off the sky just to get you to bed, and girls are capable of throwing themselves to someone they like just because they think sex will keep a guy along. Which is entirely not the case, please never think you’ll keep a guy if you sleep with him. He’ll be out of there the moment he got what he wanted. Moreover, guys love to gossip just as much as girls do and the whole locker room will know what happened, in juicy details, worst case scenario. Be VERY wary with sending nudes. There’s no “I promise I won’t send them to anyone”. If they won’t be leaked, they will be presented to the group of guys and you’ll be rated by each one A to Z, most probably. Guys need a few years to realize that they’re better off not sharing but just keeping all that to themselves. I mean, in my country there’s even a discord server for sharing nudes from all over the country/world. So really, don’t think you’re the special one whom is being respected. And what I noticed is today’s youth finds it way more exciting to share and leak nudes of civil girls, not celebrities or p0rn stars, because a civil person wouldn’t want it to get out, therefore you have the adrenaline from possessing something that is forbidden (what I also noticed is girls prefer to deal with guys who are discreet, don’t tell their homies whom they slept with or what nudes they got, which is logical and understandable to feel this way). Be very careful, because you never know who wants to ruin your possible future career with leaking your nudes or something. And yes, there’s a long road to a career, but there’s not such a long road to the nudes.
(I can only speak on the opposite sex relations and relationships, because I’m not gay, and I don’t know what romantic interaction would look like with the same sex, from none of the 2 perspectives. Ignore this if you’re not straight)
Now, of course not all guys are like this, even at that age. But you’re not witty enough to filter the ones who are really not like that. Some girls aren’t witty enough to filter them even at 25, let alone 15. So that’s why I had this little talk.
Oh yeah, when looking for a boyfriend (again, in case you’re straight only), don’t let girls and all the media throw you off onto the “omg I want someone tall and handsome” path. I’m sure you do. But apart from being tall and handsome, he has to respect women, to respect YOU in the very first place, to respect your mother, your boundaries, etc. It’s not enough for someone to be tall and handsome and to be “the hottest guy in school”. And you should never ever lower your standards or tolerate disrespect, sexism, misogyny, anything else, just because someone is gorgeous. I see all these women whining about misogyny and sexism, and yet they keep having sex with misogynistic, sexist men. I don’t understand I don’t even want to start to understand. But I want you to learn that you’re better off alone than with someone like that. There’s no desperation tragic enough to tolerate such behaviour and sleep with such people. You can seek validation in different ways.
On with the cringe: please, PLEASE, if you do the nasty with anyone, at any age, use protection. And I’m specifically talking condoms, because they are the only ones that prevent not pregnancy, but STDs. You can get rid of a pregnancy, but of an STD, never. Only if you’re lucky enough to get an STD that is completely curable. But I wouldn’t take any chances with luck on this matter. Don’t be fooled by the fact that someone is a virgin. STDs can be passed on through the womb or the vagina, while giving birth, so just because someone is a virgin, it doesn’t mean their moms have no STDs which they passed down to the kid.
I also suggest you have an open relationship with your mom (if our mom is normal and not a psycho parent): don’t be afraid of talking to her, telling her about your friends, about what your friends do, about smoking, drugs, alcohol, sex, all that. If you keep her in the open, she’ll be able to keep you on the right track easier than without the communication. I know y’all mostly think moms would kill you IF…, but actually, if a parent sees how honest you are, they start to trust you. That’s the main misunderstanding between parent and child: the parent doesn’t trust the child with the bad stuff (cigarettes, weed, drugs, alcohol, sex), and the child things because it’s taboo, they’ll get their asses kicked. But there’s a civil way to make it work and that is communication.

Well, this was long enough already, so kudos to you if you got this far. I hope I was able to provide you with useful advice (for your entire highschool experience, not just freshman year), or at least make you reconsider your perspective on certain things. I’m sure I missed some things that won’t come to mind right now, but what can I do.
Good luck!

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Hello! First off: Good luck! High school is the best time to make friends.
I kind of know how you feel, when I started high school, I had pretty bad social anxiety, too.

  • Friends
    Making friends in high school comes down to three words “Perspective, Communication, Awareness.”

    • Perspective: This applies to literally everyone. You’re going to get into your fair share of fights, misunderstandings, etc. It’s a tough road, but you always have to look at the other side. Don’t be afraid to be friends with someone who others make incorrect assumptions about. Maybe the “bad girl” isn’t all that bad, or the “nerd girl” is really cool on the inside. It’s really the way you look at things and in the end, the way you look at the big picture.
    • Communication: Communicating with everyone is important. Ok, maybe your life isn’t an Episode story with a perfect ending or completely arrogant jocks who move in with you, but they aren’t that far off. Just like timed choices, you will be faced with mean girls, stereotypes, labels, and times when you have to respond within a time limit. People constantly, even virtually, you’re going to get a label, even silently, and whether you like it or not, you have to ignore it. I mean yes, you have to talk it out, but you don’t have to play “shy girl.”
    • Awareness: As much as I hate to admit it, I got caught up in the hurricane that is high school. The freedom, the parties, the underage drinking, all that stuff. Friends, depending on who you choose, can lead you down the wrong path, so even if you’re ignoring the cliches, there are some you really have to take seriously.
  • Parental Relationship
    I didn’t have the best relationship with my parents in high school. Yes, at times parents can seem unnecessary, and yes, they can seem like helicopter parents, but you don’t need to be afraid to share your life with them, even the seemingly private details. Sex, drugs, friends, all that stuff. Don’t be afraid to hide anything.

  • Academic Necessities
    Always remember school first. Get good grades, make goals for yourself, don’t sell yourself short. Being a smart kid won’t get you far in high school. I never had to study, but when high school it, suddenly I was scrambling for ways to study. High school friends won’t get you far in life, but the things you learn will.

  • The Future
    Four years may seem like a lot, but when you look at it, going from Middle/Lower Secondary school to High School doesn’t seem like much of a change until you’re there. Be prepared for anything that comes your way and that being yourself and showing your true colors can pay off in the future. Take the classes you will do well in that you want to do, not the ones that are “popular” or have the coolest teacher or that all your friends are taking. Preparing for the future can get you a long way in life, I know and experienced this first-hand. I was taking the law classes while my friends were taking drama, acting, all that stuff (then, being a lawyer wasn’t “popular” because everyone wanted to be a famous actor/actress).

  • The Past
    The ghosts of the past are real and even though they are usually said to be bad, they can be good. One of my best friends from elementary school was with me in high school. Even though we weren’t very close in middle school, high school really brought us closer. Old enemies, friends, and mistakes can and probably will come up, but if you have your mind on your side, you can face anything.

Now since this is very long, I’ll sum it up here. If you be yourself and pay attention to the good and important things, you’ll make it through.

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Thank you thank you THANK YOU! I think your advice was great. When I first looked at it I was like “damn I gotta read all this” but when I started I could not stop
I think the things you said are all true especially the back stabbing friends. I went to a community school which means it’s from elementary to middle school, so I had a friend of 7 damn years back Stab me, and let me tell you, I’m never making the same mistake ever again.

Also the things you said about all the sex etc… I don’t like to be touched lmao, it’s just something I struggle with, not even hugs, so it would be really really hard to even touch me, talk less of sex

About the news PREAAAACCHH, I would never send those no matter how many times someone asks me

Again, thank you so much for your advice, you literally went above and beyond

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Thank you sm! I will try my best, all of you guys give awesome advice. And I literally can not thank you guys enough.
You answered my question AND went the extra mile to explain some other things to me.

I’ll try to do my best in hs and not get caught up, but we all make our mistakes, hopefully I learn from mine

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Summary (Applies for remote learning as well):

  1. Keep your friends, super, super, close. If you don’t you’ll loose them in a blink of an eye
    (Trust me I know :disappointed:)

  2. Don’t. Fall. Behind. In. Any Courses. I seriously mean it, I’ve gotten such severe anxiety and stress when my I fell right on my back with my assignments and it left me in tears about how overwhelming it was. They say don’t procrastinate but I find it extremely hard to believe you can NOT procrastinate? My advice is just do it when your supposed to, but don’t submit it 10 minutes before the due date. Not a good habit you’ve got there if you do :roll_eyes: :raised_hand:t4:

  3. Participate is anything that interests you. Even if its drama, music, sports, clubs anything, do it! You only go to high school once, and it flys by like you can’t believe. Plus if you plan on going to college to pursue a career then this definitely will look great on your end, and you’ll look well rounded. Your in high school for a reason, to learn and make the most of it! Make your 4 years worth it!

  4. Lastly, please be yourself. Stick by those who you care about. Don’t get mixed up with the wrong crowd. Don’t get discouraged. “Keep going until you reach the finish line, and make the run worth it!”

It’s been awhile since I was a freshman in high school but I do remember I was nervous. Even though some of my friends were going to the same high school, it wasn’t guaranteed I would have the same classes as them, so that was nerve-wrecking. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t so bad. I made some new friends and had a blast.

A new environment will always give you nerves. So I advise you to stay positive. Think about the many new friends you will make. Think about the new memories you will make. Positivity will make the nerves go away and you will get to experience high school in an enjoyable way.

I hope that helped. Sorry if it didn’t lol. You’ll do great! :purple_heart:

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“Being my self” is something I definitely need to work on because I’m still struggling to find me. The me that makes me happy all the time.

And as for procrastination, it’s really hard not to do that, but that’s something I can also work on. I really hope my high school years will be At least good because the experience definitely won’t be perfect. But a girls gotta try right?

Thank you for your advice!! :two_hearts:

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No worries, you give great advice. And I definitely need to take everyone’s advice into consideration, and I’m glad everyone replied.

Making friends in this pandemic is hard but I will definitely try