Not Sure Whether Or Not This Girl Is A Fake Friend

So there’s this girl who I’ve been friends with for a while now. We always hang out at school. But whenever we make plans to hang out when we’re not in school, she either “forgets” or “forgets to ask her mum” or just cancels at last minute. This happens all the time and I keep on repeating my same mistakes. But this mistake… it’s worse.

So, a few days ago, I told her about one of my favourite bands’ upcoming concert, and she said “OMGGGG CAN’T WAIT” and that, as you will believe, had me really positive that she wouldn’t yet again, cancel at last minute.

So, I told her that I’ve just paid for a ticket for myself, and I KID YOU NOT, she says “You know what, I don’t even listen to that band. And I don’t wanna waste my money.” I got really, very mad. So, I then responded with “What, so you waited until AFTER I paid for the ticket to tell me?” and she says “no” and then after I had a breakdown about wasting my money, (I forgot to say, I have no one else to go with and no one else to take me there and it’s about 2 hours away) I sent her a message saying “Thank you.” and she responded with “?” and I said “Just for making me realise how easy it is for me to be fooled.” and she didn’t answer back. She just read it.

And this only happened today.

What should I do about her?

12 Likes

You should really stop being friends with this girl, she soumds awful, and yes definitely a fake friend. Even if you don’t have any other friends at the moment you’ll most likely get ones in the future and better than this one. Dump her as your friend, you deserve better.

But this is just my opinion, if you have a better solution, you should go with it.

6 Likes

Try asking why she’s doing this to you and messing you around. She possibly has her reasons or she’s just being an awful person and a bad friend. I’ve also had a toxic friend in the past, she didn’t always cancel on me but she took advantage of me and what kind of a person I was. Don’t let her walk over you and make you feel that you’re not worthy. The toxic friend, let’s call her Loopy (she’s definitely crazy, and not the good kind) is making her way back into my life. My friends are on exchange so I’m a tad alone at school and she’s taking advantage of that. Stand up for yourself! It’ll be worth it and try to find someone who cares about you and actually wants to spend time with you.

4 Likes

@greenghost @Eva_Diva1

I know, it’s just that the school I go to is really small, there are around 300 people and they’re all basically… how do I say this… druggies. It’s really hard to make friends there since they all have their own friends already (all the girls in my class are just losers), and I used to always be alone, until (let’s call this girl peppermint chocolate cause that’s what I really don’t like lol) peppermint chocolate started hanging out with me again, because we used to be really close friends from grade 7 til grade 9, then we grew apart from each other in grade 10, and now that we’re in grade 11, we’re hanging out again (I feel like that was all over the place :joy:) and I really am thinking about just asking her why she’s doing this to me. About why she’s always getting my hopes up about being able to FINALLY hang out with her when we aren’t in school. But I feel like she’ll come up with some pathetic excuses. Although, I do sometimes prefer to be alone. Especially after this concert ticket incident.

1 Like

Tbh I would be that terrible friend How ever I would never leave someone hanging when they already paid for (well in you’re case) a contsert. I actually would have been honest with you why I wouldn’t come ( for me it’s being afraid when I’m aroud people I don’t know and the fact that I can get a panic attack) and I would have told you before you paid for it. I’m not sure if this is the case with you’re friend.

3 Likes

Maybe seems like it but What if she is just like me? I also make pathetic excuses but do you know why? Because I’m afraid that people will laugh at me for being afraid.
I’m not trying to defend her but I just want you know that there might be more to the story as to why she canceled.

I go to a small school too (not everybody are druggies but jonestly more than you’d think-- I’m not) but if I don’t have anyone to hang out with I rather to just be alone, I used to have toxic friends that only hung out with me when there was no one else to hang out with and constantly canceled on me and I got rid of those one after one, it’s better to just cut off that kind of people

2 Likes

She always goes to concerts.

if that’s the case then I think she’s just a fake friend :roll_eyes: and rude. I feel bad for you that she had to betray you like that

3 Likes

In my town, basically everyone is just a druggie, or a drug dealer. Literally, my town is horrible. Unfortunately, I grew up here and I can’t wait to leave this place. (anyway, that was off topic) I love being alone. Trust me, I do, but I don’t mind having someone talk to me every once in a while. I hate calling people my friends because they always leave me for some reason. I have been through some traumatic experiences, and I’ve only told a few of my “friends” about what I’ve gone through because I thought I could trust them, and I hardly EVER talk about my traumatic events. So, it’s not like I’m constantly making everything about me. I must be doing something wrong, I guess.

3 Likes

Hon I think you should really ask what’s up and what’s really going on. Especially with the whole thing involving her just turning down everything y’all try to do. I would talk to her first and just tell her what the heck and how upset you are. But by the way things sound she does sound a little fake especially when she’s all claiming she can’t wait and she’s excited then now she’s just like wait nope I don’t even like that band :woman_shrugging:t5: It makes no sense and isn’t fair to you

3 Likes

Well, I can get that you want to talk to someone but there must be someone who’s even a tiny bit decent, right? (Or not) and it’s not you, it sounds more like the place you live in. Eventually you’ll get out of there, don’t lose hope.

2 Likes

All I can say is push through this experience, hopefully it’ll shape you into a stronger person when you leave the place and you’ll be free and relieved it’s over. Have you talked to any family members about how you feel? My mother is the only one I can talk to about similar things like this. It feels like a lonely road, but hopefully things will get better. And sometimes it is better being alone and doing your own thing, but you do need someone to talk to, who will understand and stand by your side… :pensive:

2 Likes

She definitely sounds like a fake friend and you should cut ties with her. People like her are so not worth your time.

I know exactly how you feel because I have been in situations like this.

3 Likes

I don’t know, but I feel like she’s after your money or your secrets and such.

4 Likes

I had the same experience in my school my friend used me as i was the best in studies in class so she became my friend to make a good impression on teachers!!she stabbed me at back n then i just realised nd never talked to her again and she is still regretting for using me as my teachers came to know about it!!so u should also stop being friends with her​:blush::thinking::stuck_out_tongue:n yes PLEASEEEEEEEE read my story"My lovers"by Victoria because I am New in episode… thanks

2 Likes

It’s possible that it may be home problems, or she just can’t go, like her parents maybe saying:
“Don’t do it! Or I’ll hurt you!”

Like, she wants to go, or maybe she’s scared, she could be being stalked and when she sees you, and it seems to her that everywhere you guys go, there is someone always following her, make sure to check if she goes anywhere else but school, that is a big sign something is wrong, she wants to be where you are but she can’t be there.

At the other part, be may have autism or anxiety.

Autism can cause you not be able to go certain places, anxiety has that same effect, but with different causes sometimes, she may also be mentally ill in other ways.

She may also have a phobia of going out, accepts your offers not to make you feel bad or so that she can try to escape her demons but loses the battle with them every time.

Be careful on how you approach her because it can be very hard to get someone to open up to you about their life circumstances, she might not tell you the truth of why she bails on you the last minute to save your opinions of her or thoughts, as some people with depression or anxiety may feel like others will think they’re crazy or weak for having the illnesses.

She may have OCD, and she wants to leave, but her OCD stops her, or she feels like she’ll succumb to her OCD while being with you. Or her OCD is causing the whole dilemma, making her accept then bail as a ritual.

I have OCD, and it can make you delusional if you believe it enough and depending on the lies it will tell you.

I once believed because of my OCD that I was in the quantum realm. then when I mentally did the thing to get me out, I got myself in a another realm just above the quantum realm, everyone in that realm was evil.I thought my mom wasn’t my mom, and that my dad wasn’t my dad and told them that and that they were evil and said so openly.

So, please, just don’t leave her like that, there could be other reasons, she might just be tired(mostly because of other things) or have a lot to do, just talk to her and think “You have her at school, is she there for you? Does she, other than bailing, act weird on other occasions? Is it something deeper than I originally thought it was?”

I’m sure she loves you very much, but there may be something terribly wrong to cause her to do this, and most of the time it’s not easy to have her let it out, sometimes it’s harder to let it out to friend who you think don’t understand.

3 Likes

I couldn’t agree more. Thank you :purple_heart:

1 Like

I completely agree, actually.

Haha loving that little self-promo :joy: and thanks for your advice :blush: