Love your cover! You can definitely tell itโs a romance story And with the background colour also makes it feel like a drama story.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description is awesome and matches the story information from the start.
I feel like this story will have heaps of drama because of the splashes so far.
CREATIVITY:
The start of the story where the tappable overlays are used is amazing and fits the story setting/theme perfectly!
You can make this story even better with using more overlays that match with the scenes
For example: when LI 2 is fixing her tire, you could put a tire overlay there, to show us that heโs doing it.
LENGTH:
Cut down on the dialogue that isnโt needed in the first scene that MC and LI 1 is in, that scene is kind of boring and a bit long. Other then that the length is great.
GRAMMAR:
I didnโt notice any errors!
DIRECTING:
Directing is great, nice use of spot directing and zooming.
CHARACTERS:
The Mc is Hispanic but I donโt see anything that makes her connect to it, she looks very white washed if you get what I mean? Which is fine because Hispanic people come from any colour. But then sheโs Mexican so either sheโs mixed or her parents are really white to.
I LOVE Jacob
PLOT:
Love the plot, I havenโt read a story like yours, especially with someone whoโs job is to work at a morgue.
Final Grade: 18/20
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The first couple chapters donโt have any cool overlays because I was sooo new but I do now!! Maybe I can go back and add some! Eliโs parents are light they are from a specific part of Mexico (i am a lighter skined mexican lol) and her โHispanicโ side comes out when sheโs not at work. Maybe iโll add more of that too.
Yes! Add some even in the tiniest places. It could be anywhere!
Yeah I thought so.
Iโm from south America and Iโm have olive skin tone, so Iโm kinda pale when not in the sun, so Iโm aware thereโs really light skinned people!
Maybe put more of her personality into the first episode!
And extra note, you should leave out why she works there, I think that would be a very good conversation between her parents or someone.
The description is good but I suggest taking away โSoโ it doesnโt need to be there an it sounds great staring with โSecretsโ.
I donโt mind cc for the whole family, but some people annoying and too long. Either cutting out on the cousins cc or coding it so the Mc matches the family while doing cc.
Loved how we jumped straight into the drama!
Amazing use of sound and music, it fitted well with scenes.
CREATIVITY:
Loved the intro for episode one!
Great idea used when re introducing us to the family with the overlays.
I loved how you introduced us to the mc best friend, it was unique and different!!
It reminds me of a reality tv show.
The โNext Time onโ is an amazing idea!!
LENGTH:
The intro is to long at the start there are to many warning/splashes used. Cutting down the splashes used will make it a bit shorter which will lead to the perfect length!
GRAMMAR:
I didnโt see any errors
DIRECTING:
Spot placing is amazing, I donโt see any errors!
Great use of zooming!
CHARACTERS:
Make sure to have the mc clothes match her personality!
Introduce us to the puppy!
Amazing use of background characters.
Thereโs a lot of diversity within the background characters. Which is great! Keep it up.
I would usually stay donโt have to much popular girl drama. but Iโm loving Chanel and Ashleyโs argument in the cafeteria! With Chanel I can see big character development for her, if you decide to make her nice in the future episodes!
PLOT:
Love!! The plot, Iโm not a big fan of drama/mystery stories but this story is great and I might possibly continue reading
Final Grade: 19/20
Just cut down on the splashes and thatโll be a 20/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
Love the cover! But I suggest making the title bigger because itโs tiny and hard to notice.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description does need some tweaking Change to: "Roy returns to civilization as a changed women*
And take away the comma from โput things right,โ
Make the intro to the warning splashes faster!
Thereโs to much narration at the start when the mc is thinking/narrating. Try making it shorter and donโt give away to much information about her.
CREATIVITY:
Thereโs no use of overlays or anything. Try adding some to give the fist episode some wow.
Try making the story aesthetically pleasing by using backgrounds/colours that match the story theme/setting.
LENGTH:
The length was fine but shortening the narration at the start would be great!
GRAMMAR:
I donโt see any mistakes!
DIRECTING:
Good use of spot directing and zooming.
CHARACTERS:
There isnโt really much personality for the mc yet and I think showing what her personality is like from the start is a great way to introduce her.
Little kid Roy has high heels in her scene. I would consider changing them to other shoes.
PLOT:
I like where the plot is heading, but there isnโt anything shown in the first episode that is leading to it.
Final Grade: 18/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
Love the cover, it definitely looks like a drama story, it also matches part of the plot.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Love the description, it doesnโt giveaway too much information.
I couldnโt find the story on search unless I found your author name and I think itโs to do with the emoji on the title, so I suggest taking it off and getting someone (or me) to search it up again.
Loved the music/sound at the start!
I loved the sadness and raw emotion of Mariah before, during and after the wedding
CREATIVITY:
LOVED the carriage overlay
LENGTH:
Perfect length.
GRAMMAR:
I didnโt see any problems but I suggest re searching more about old day language or what ever era youโre in the story, I think it gives the story more of a unique and interesting touch.
CHARACTERS:
Loved the characters so far, Iโm assuming the queen and king are Kierans parents!?
DIRECTING:
Thereโs a mistake in the scene where Irina calls Mariah a witch, itโs too zoomed in and you can see the end of the zone, where itโs black.
Thereโs the same problem when Mariah wants to got to the kings room.
In the same scene the speech bubble isnโt facing the right way, just make sure itโs facing the character is speaking.
PLOT:
Thereโs really no plot mentioning yet but I assume Queen Elizabeth will tell Mariah to leave because the king doesnโt want her while sheโs pregnant? So Kieran will grow up as a peasant?
I may be completely wrong but thatโs the vibe Iโm getting!
I would definitely continue to read! Itโs really good! Remember to use heaps of emotions, thatโs what gives the story more drama and depth to it!
Final Grade: 18/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
description: Working as a criminal lawyer, Aria is more than happy with her normal life. Whatโll happen when she gets thrown into a world full of and glamour overnight?
anything else youโd like to add (e.g. focus on grammar, waiting for art etc.): No
The cover is amazing but it does remind me of more of a romance cover then a mystery one. Not that it is a problem but just keep it in mind.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description is amazing and matches the plot so far.
Great use of music and sound, it matches the scenes well.
This story could almost literally go in any genre so far, itโs honestly amazing and has a bit of everything!
CREATIVITY:
Love the use of overlays!
The first episode is very aesthetically pleasing, please continue to make it that way for every episode!
LENGTH:
Itโs a bit long, I would recommend cutting down on the not so important narration, other than that, the length was spot on!
GRAMMAR:
I didnโt see any errors!
CHARACTERS:
This is the first time I have related to the Mc and I am in love!
(Iโm focusing on the path to became a criminal lawyer and I swear me and the mc have the same personality so far )
I love how in the first scene we meet the Mc she shows her personality. When showing a characters personality from the start it sets the tone for the rest of the story and we know what to expect from her as in emotional/reaction wise.
Great use of diversity with background characters and side/main character
DIRECTING:
Outstanding use of zoom, placing/spot directing!
PLOT:
I am in love with the plot, it reminds me of a murder mystery but with heaps more drama!
Final Grade: 20/20
I literally have no complaints your story is amazing!
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
Iโm speechless! Thank you so much, Iโm so glad you enjoyed it that much! I really appreciate that you took the time to review my story!
And haha yess, Aria is just like me too! Iโm glad I have written a story about a relatable character
Thanks again!
The cover looks cute but it doesnโt look like a drama story cover.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
The description has a bit of problems Change to: โGetting a new noseโ Change to: โIs just the startโ
This story in my opinion is controversial, the first episode is probably triggering for some readers as for some of them probably went into the foster system and got treated very badly.
I suggest have trigger warnings telling people that sensitive topic are happening.
Another controversial topic is the ugly to beautiful, Iโm not sure what you have planned in the other episodes but if you you donโt have this than consider putting it in: For example - Having warnings or ReaderMessage reassuring people itโs okay not to be perfect and weโre beautiful in our own way, but if you want to get plastic surgery thatโs okay to, as long as youโre happy with yourself.
Some music doesnโt fit with the scenes
CREATIVITY:
I didnโt see anything creative, maybe try making your story aesthetically pleasing, I think that would be a nice touch to the story.
LENGTH:
Great length.
GRAMMAR:
No errors that I saw.
DIRECTING:
Directing and zoom is well used.
CHARACTERS:
We know that sky isnโt nice and the Mc has a weird personality, it would be nice to see as to why they act that way.
Diversity is good so far.
PLOT:
At the cliffhanger we can see the plot starts there so the plot progress is good.
Important Note: You have made a character say to the mc that โsheโs a ret*rded slothโ and you have made the same character โjokinglyโ say that the mc is close to committing suicided.
Suicide isnโt a joke and isnโt something to be thrown into a story, either you educate people on it and show that the mc is going through depression/suicide thoughts or you take it out completely, same with the other comment made.
No hate at all but itโs a very sensitive topic for some people and myself, I also suggest putting a warning splash there.
Final Grade: 15/20
Thank you for choosing me to review your story! If you have any questions or need more advice, donโt hesitate to PM me!
Hi everyone so I finished my fairy tail contest entry and I would like to do a r4r with you
Title: Not so Prince Charming
Description: After you parents die your all alone with your wicked stepmom and mean half sisters until there is a masquerade ball at the castle but the prince isnโt as charming as you thought
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