Opinions on my 100 word story needed please

Hi! I was recently chosen to enter a 100 word story competition and I needed people’s opinions on what I have got so far :sweat_smile: I have written two so far and I wanted them to be on how in society, we are often (and I am not saying always) fake. This is from my point of view as a teenager looking at what I see around me with people my own age and even people younger and older. My idea came from the song ‘No Filter’ by Ward Thomas. It’s a really good song if you want to listen by the way! :slight_smile: If you could read both of my short stories and vote which one you prefer and then leave any improvements for me that would be great! Thanks :slight_smile:
Short Story 1:
Darkness. It’s everywhere. There is no light, there never was. Nobody seems to notice though, they all just see what they want to. Happily walking about, blinded by their own foolishness, they smile until they hit a wall and it finally sinks in that nothing is as they thought it was. Wanting for something to slightly brighten up my way, I look up to the overhanging buildings of the city, I see a few windows with a light by them. Some are brighter than others. However, it is then that I realise that not everyone hides away as most do.

Short Story 2:
‘That photo is horrible! You can’t post that!’ exclaimed Maddie.

‘Why do you care?’ I ask, bemused.

‘Have you seen how big my nose looks?’

This is the comedy that is my life and honestly? I don’t understand it. All people seem to care about nowadays is how they look. Am I the only one who doesn’t? Probably not, but that’s how it feels. Thoughtfully, I looked out the window into the pitch black. Not a single light shone anywhere. Or so I thought until I looked up and saw the gorgeous stars gleaming above me, reminding me, hope exists.

  • First Short Story
  • Second Short Story
  • Neither

0 voters

Please leave any feedback on either story for me if you have any! Thank you!!! :slight_smile:

I remember doing a 500 word story when I was 9 or 10

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I did one of those once, I hated it! I remember having a slight tantrum as I couldn’t finish the story off so that it wouldn’t go over 500 :joy::joy:

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I feel like the second story people can actually relate to which makes that story stand out alot. However, I also love the first one because it has alot of despriptive language and it creates a subtle but vivid image in my head. I only think the 2nd one a bit more than the first one because people can relate to it whih makes it pop more but i love both x well done :blush:

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Thank you!! :slight_smile:

No problem x

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